React to an attack or Pre-Empt it? Any advice?

[Carol]

Jenna,

This may or may not be of help. You've had a lot of real martial artists talking to you about how and when to take action. I don't have that kind of expereince.

The only risky situations that I have been in are situations I faced before starting in martial arts. Suffice it to say, I most certainly had no fighting skills, in terms of a physical side. I did wriggle myself out of a few bad situations with mental tactics.

I did a lot of stupid stuff when I played music professionally. I was a 20-something year old girl, dressed to get attention (for the stage, of course), and schlepping around $2000 worth of musical equipment outside shady bars at 2:30 AM. Last call, bar is closed, band packs up. When I've been approached by some people that probably had bad intent, my reaction to them was to act like a lunatic. That was pretty easy for me to pull off. I'm a stage performer, I don't drink, and by that hour of the morning I was so punchy that I sounded insane whether I was or not. Sometimes I just run on instinct, and as far as I can tell, my instinct has never lead me wrong.

One guy came up to me and started talking me up...I thought for a second he looked like my drummer's brother, so I yelled at the top of my lungs "Hey Tony! Where are you hiding! Gary's out here! Come out!" He took off. Stupid stuff, but it worked. Looking back with "older eyes" sometimes I wonder if it was skill or dumb luck that never got me in to a skirmish.

That may work with a stranger, I don't know if it will work with someone you know...becuase that is a different threat altogether. The only time I faced a bad situation with someone that I knew is with an old room mate. (just a room mate, we were not lovers). His mental health went sharply on the decline. I arrived home one night and every nerve in me told me to run...and run I did. I flew out of the house, took a zig zag way to the car, drove to a friend's house and crashed out on her sofa. Let me just say that I later learned that it was a very good thing that I was not home last night.

I cannot say what is best for you...but I don't think I'm steering you wrong in saying...if your instincts are telling you not to go home, don't.

I hope you are OK, and I hope you keep us posted. I wish the UK wasn't so bloody far away, otherwise I could point you to some safe places to go.

Please keep us posted, and keep posting.

 

[Jenna]

Jenna,

This may or may not be of help. You've had a lot of real martial artists talking to you about how and when to take action. I don't have that kind of expereince.

The only risky situations that I have been in are situations I faced before starting in martial arts. Suffice it to say, I most certainly had no fighting skills, in terms of a physical side. I did wriggle myself out of a few bad situations with mental tactics.

I did a lot of stupid stuff when I played music professionally. I was a 20-something year old girl, dressed to get attention (for the stage, of course), and schlepping around $2000 worth of musical equipment outside shady bars at 2:30 AM. Last call, bar is closed, band packs up. When I've been approached by some people that probably had bad intent, my reaction to them was to act like a lunatic. That was pretty easy for me to pull off. I'm a stage performer, I don't drink, and by that hour of the morning I was so punchy that I sounded insane whether I was or not. Sometimes I just run on instinct, and as far as I can tell, my instinct has never lead me wrong.

One guy came up to me and started talking me up...I thought for a second he looked like my drummer's brother, so I yelled at the top of my lungs "Hey Tony! Where are you hiding! Gary's out here! Come out!" He took off. Stupid stuff, but it worked. Looking back with "older eyes" sometimes I wonder if it was skill or dumb luck that never got me in to a skirmish.

That may work with a stranger, I don't know if it will work with someone you know...becuase that is a different threat altogether. The only time I faced a bad situation with someone that I knew is with an old room mate. (just a room mate, we were not lovers). His mental health went sharply on the decline. I arrived home one night and every nerve in me told me to run...and run I did. I flew out of the house, took a zig zag way to the car, drove to a friend's house and crashed out on her sofa. Let me just say that I later learned that it was a very good thing that I was not home last night.

I cannot say what is best for you...but I don't think I'm steering you wrong in saying...if your instincts are telling you not to go home, don't.

I hope you are OK, and I hope you keep us posted. I wish the UK wasn't so bloody far away, otherwise I could point you to some safe places to go.

Please keep us posted, and keep posting.

Hey there lovely Carol
Wow you're a muso! I'm impressed and I'd be a fool not to be impressed with your intelligence and your exceptional lateral thinking in ridding yourself of unwanted attention. A creative person right to the wire! That's super. Your exit strategies are something else. I am making little mental notes and picturing you lugging your amps and cases out of clubs. Yeah, I'm hearing stupid and twentysomething and I'm looking vacantly at the backs of my hands like someone else in class is being told off...

Don't get me wrong Carol, I'm no smart or sassy dresser. But when it comes to the wrong type of attention, I seem to bring it on myself just by being me *sighs*. I have trouble tempering who I am - it's difficult to change and overturn who we are and how we act, no?

Can I pick you up on your room mate situation? You crashed out on your girl friend's sofa. In the morning were things different? I'm reading that some bad stuff happened subsequent to your leaving. Had your room mate gone the following morning or been brought into care? I ask because I suppose I am "crashing out" albeit on my own and in a foreign hotel. If I thought my "room mate" had been sectioned I'd be happy to pack up and go home. Is your room mate still around? And if so, are you active in avoiding and how do you do that?

Thank you so much for your reply. To me Carol, your thoughts constitute another cartridge for my belt. As you can see, I have been given many different cartridges from all the lovely Martial Talk people already. I'm certainly no gunslinger but if I feel I have enough ammo to hold the fort for a while, I'm doing better than I could have hoped for at this stage

Yr most obdt hmble srvt,
Jenna

 

[Carol]

Hey there lovely Carol
Wow you're a muso! I'm impressed and I'd be a fool not to be impressed with your intelligence and your exceptional lateral thinking in ridding yourself of unwanted attention. A creative person right to the wire! That's super. Your exit strategies are something else. I am making little mental notes and picturing you lugging your amps and cases out of clubs. Yeah, I'm hearing stupid and twentysomething and I'm looking vacantly at the backs of my hands like someone else in class is being told off...

Don't get me wrong Carol, I'm no smart or sassy dresser. But when it comes to the wrong type of attention, I seem to bring it on myself just by being me *sighs*. I have trouble tempering who I am - it's difficult to change and overturn who we are and how we act, no?

Jenna my friend,

Absolutely, and I'm not trying to imply that you are doing anything wrong. You have an absolutely magnetic personality and I think in three or so days you have made friends with every single person on this board. That's a great thing Unfortunately there are a few rotten people in this world that respond to charisma in a bad way. Bad poeple being bad people...they probably respond to a lot of things in a bad way. I don't think there is a way around that.

Can I pick you up on your room mate situation? You crashed out on your girl friend's sofa. In the morning were things different? I'm reading that some bad stuff happened subsequent to your leaving. Had your room mate gone the following morning or been brought into care? I ask because I suppose I am "crashing out" albeit on my own and in a foreign hotel. If I thought my "room mate" had been sectioned I'd be happy to pack up and go home. Is your room mate still around? And if so, are you active in avoiding and how do you do that?

It was a long, sad story. He was a great guy, fresh out of college and working his frst job. We got along fine until that bad night. He didn't seem to mind having a room mate almost 15 years older, he wanted to know if I would help keep the place clean and the bills paid. Well, that was easy.

He did something with a woman his own age that got himself arrested. He bailed himself out, but went in to custody the next day at his hearing where he was confined to a hospital. The night I ran away, he left a cheque in an envelope saying it was for "pregnancy expenses". I have the feeling that he was the one that wanted to do the impregnating, given how the earlier events stacked up. He later said it was for the rent.

He did return home, and when he did, I was quite scared. He had never done anything to harm me...but I didn't know what he would be like once he was out and dealing with the loss of his job. I asked the police for a restraining order, they said they could not grant me one because he and I were never lovers. I started looking at breaking my lease and just moving out...thinking that facing housing court would be better than facing my room mate.

I ended up moving out to a different apartment. I coudn't afford movers, so I packed up as much as my Honda could hold, and moved it out, one trip at a time. When I had to move the big stuff, I let him know, and had a few friends come in with a U-Haul to quickly move out the rest of my stuff. We got in to an argument, exchanged some acidic words, but he never threatened me. Soon after I got a call from him telling me about some outstanding bills and he said he was moving out of state as soon as his court matters cleared up, to a place where he had some friends and could probably find a job. The issue never got sent to housing court. I don't know where he is, don't care.

It wasn't quite a happily ever after story. My then-boyfriend was a brilliant engineer, but had a slight physical handicap...and ended up getting very depressed at the notion that he couldn't do anything (ie: fight off the guy). I was very crushed by this...fighting...was not something that I ever wanted or expected out of him...or anyone.

The apartment that I moved in to was really out of my price range. My boyfriend begged me to take it because it was very close to him, and offered my landlord a downpayment on the rent. I get very uncomfortable about someone else trying to pay my way like that but...decided to take the apartment and felt that it was very important for me to be near him.

Not a great decision. My finances got wrecked from trying to keep up the rent. The relationship continued to slide, try as I did, I couldn't reach my bf in whatever crevasse he fell in to. About 6 months later he visited me, and said that he loved me, but that he could never marry me, or anyone else...and...there was just no changing his mind. A month later I asked him again to reconsider, he said no. I'm at peace with the situation now, thinking it really was all for the best...but it was a high price to pay.

Not staying home flipped my life upside down even though he never physically hurt me. There aren't easy answers, and all of the choices can potentially come with a high price.

If it is someone in your home that makes you scared, try going to a hospital if you run out of options. Hospitals in the US are prepared for just such a crisis. You may also want to try contacting a social worker or whatever your equivalent is there across the pond. Sometimes its good to get lots of allies on your side. If you have to use your skills, it is even better to have lots of allies on your side.

Thank you so much for your reply. To me Carol, your thoughts constitute another cartridge for my belt. As you can see, I have been given many different cartridges from all the lovely Martial Talk people already. I'm certainly no gunslinger but if I feel I have enough ammo to hold the fort for a while, I'm doing better than I could have hoped for at this stage

I wish I could do more.

I think if you look at your responses here you will find more than a few people that are a little worried about you my friend. Please keep posting, even if it's just a quick line to say things are fine....or even if things aren't so fine. If nothing else you have quite a few Yanks that are cheering for you.

Stay safe, and stay strong.

Carol

 

[Jenna]

Hey my lovely friend Carol

Thank you for taking the time again to reply. And please accept that even though it might seem trivial to you typing on your keyboard, it's of some significance when it displays on my screen here I'm sending a hug for thanks and for being an example to me and I hope you get it.

He did something with a woman his own age that got himself arrested. He bailed himself out, but went in to custody the next day at his hearing where he was confined to a hospital. The night I ran away, he left a cheque in an envelope saying it was for "pregnancy expenses". I have the feeling that he was the one that wanted to do the impregnating, given how the earlier events stacked up. He later said it was for the rent.

Goodness. That story is more frightening than I can imagine. It really is. I can see you in that situation. Wow. And you kept your integrity too. You must have had to really mine the deep vein to come out the other side of that. Thank you so much for sharing.

Not staying home flipped my life upside down even though he never physically hurt me. There aren't easy answers, and all of the choices can potentially come with a high price.

Yes, but we act with the best intention as you did. You had a set of facts and properly determined priorities in which to deal and yeah, at no stage did anyone proffer those "special" facts with which we speak our clever hindsights and castigate ourselves in our "I should have known" moments. Those facts are hidden from us otherwise Carol life would be a breeze wouldn't it. Life would be one big freewheel bicycle trip down a lovely hill with no curves, no bumps, no unevenness or thorns. And certainly with no uphill sections.

Carol, you're a strong, strong lady and even that knowledge is a shield around me. To know the theory is great. To know that the sort of strength you mobilised in facing problems and yeah, breaking on through can be possible for real is like the magic carpet to the weary traveller. What can I say but a humble thank you.

Yr most obdt hmble srvt,
Jenna

 

[Carol]

Jenna you are very welcome.

I'm lying on my couch right with a nasty fever, it's hard to imagine that my rambling could be any help to anyone. Except my cat, perhaps. He seems to enjoy the fact that I'm not doing anything today But I'm totally humbled.

One of my favorite lines from Star Trek was on my sig file for awhile. It was from Seven of Nine . She was rescuing some beings that were getting their humanity back from cyborg hell when they became very afraid. Her reaction... "Ah, fear, a human emotion. It's temporary."

Fear always is temporary. You will get through this.


Hugs back to you

Carol

 

[Jenna]

Jenna you are very welcome.

I'm lying on my couch right with a nasty fever, it's hard to imagine that my rambling could be any help to anyone. Except my cat, perhaps. He seems to enjoy the fact that I'm not doing anything today But I'm totally humbled.

One of my favorite lines from Star Trek was on my sig file for awhile. It was from Seven of Nine . She was rescuing some beings that were getting their humanity back from cyborg hell when they became very afraid. Her reaction... "Ah, fear, a human emotion. It's temporary."

Fear always is temporary. You will get through this.


Hugs back to you

Carol

Hey there Carol the Music Maker
Seven of Nine, wow, yeah that'd be a useful ally. But beauty, intelligence AND strength, those virtues could only ever be upheld by an automaton. Is this right? I think so. Of course the writers had to ensure she lacked something otherwise all hope for us mortals would be lost to the comparison. So they left off (or Borg'd out) her strong emotion. Making her more Spock-like I think ensured we retained some pride as viewers.

I tell ya Carol, of all screen baddies, the Borg scared me the most. REally and truly and it sort of resonates with me right now. There's just something about the relentlessness of the Borg and the manner of the assimilation that scares the backside outta me. You can pop drones 'til the cows come home but ultimately your "kills" are meaningless and resistance truly is futile. That's portentous. I'll get off that topic before I drive myself into the bathroom *shakes*

The impermanence of fear is a truth for certain, but that fact is difficult to realise when it is upon you. It is a powerful instinctual driving emotion that dulls logical thought and narrows the focus in the primal part of us.

You rest up that fever. No work for you tomorrow? I would hope not. Let them do without you for a day or two. Naturally then you can come on here and keep me company, LOL Just joking. But remember the old adage: starve a cold, feed a fever (and give an aardvark little bits of chopped earthworms) Ha! Give your kittie a pet for me too!

Take good care now my friend from far too far away.
Yr most obdt hmble srvt,
Jenna

 

[Hand Sword]

I would like to say if you see it coming and can pre-empt it, absolutely do so!

Remember a fight hasn't begun when a puch is thrown. Once the vulgarities have started, and they're coming to you, or your space is invaded, with an aggresive movement, the fight has started. Treat it accordingly! They aren't coming all the way over, or invading your space, to give you a kiss.

 

[Jenna]

I would like to say if you see it coming and can pre-empt it, absolutely do so!

Remember a fight hasn't begun when a puch is thrown. Once the vulgarities have started, and they're coming to you, or your space is invaded, with an aggresive movement, the fight has started. Treat it accordingly! They aren't coming all the way over, or invading your space, to give you a kiss.

Hey Hand Sword

Thank you for taking the time to reply! In your opinion, it's cut and dry? Is this correct? Imagine you're walking home of a winter's evening, you get the impression someone is following. You are not certain, footsteps maybe. Or maybe not. It's been a bad day, you've been getting it from all angles. You are not so sharp maybe. Certainly no one is jumping out at you and posturing in front of you let alone attempting to molest you. Do you lengthen your stride towards your destination or towards SOME destination? Or do you make fists or reach to your knife, stop, turn around and walk with deliberation towards this impression of portent?

I feel the "turning around" / pre-empt choice is not always available to all. You can maybe appreciate that for one not conversant with crocodiles, taking a job that requires placing one's head in the lizards big toothy gob has certain associated risks? Does that make sense? Please don't tell me I am weak for not wishing to become employed in that job Hand Sword san.

A fast-track one-day course to a dogged fighting mindset would be most welcome. And only a fool would ask where it could be studied. So instead, I'll take any alternatives you may have experience of or thoughts on. Thank you again

Yr most obdt hmble srvt,
Jenna

 

[Hand Sword]

Hey Hand Sword

Thank you for taking the time to reply! In your opinion, it's cut and dry? Is this correct? Imagine you're walking home of a winter's evening, you get the impression someone is following. You are not certain, footsteps maybe. Or maybe not. It's been a bad day, you've been getting it from all angles. You are not so sharp maybe. Certainly no one is jumping out at you and posturing in front of you let alone attempting to molest you. Do you lengthen your stride towards your destination or towards SOME destination? Or do you make fists or reach to your knife, stop, turn around and walk with deliberation towards this impression of portent?

I feel the "turning around" / pre-empt choice is not always available to all. You can maybe appreciate that for one not conversant with crocodiles, taking a job that requires placing one's head in the lizards big toothy gob has certain associated risks? Does that make sense? Please don't tell me I am weak for not wishing to become employed in that job Hand Sword san.

A fast-track one-day course to a dogged fighting mindset would be most welcome. And only a fool would ask where it could be studied. So instead, I'll take any alternatives you may have experience of or thoughts on. Thank you again

Yr most obdt hmble srvt,
Jenna

If your walking and feeling threatened Yes! Reach for your weapon, turn around and look, or go somewhere with a crowd. It is that cut and dry. If you were aware of an attack, did nothing, and waited to react to it, after it happened, that would be very foolish on your part. Action beats reaction!

 

[Jenna]

If your walking and feeling threatened Yes! Reach for your weapon, turn around and look, or go somewhere with a crowd. It is that cut and dry. If you were aware of an attack, did nothing, and waited to react to it, after it happened, that would be very foolish on your part. Action beats reaction!

Hey Hand Sword san
That is a very active approach. Is there ever a case do you think where the odds of failure outweigh the benefits of being so pro-active in confrontation? I am guessing you are confident in your ability. Would you be able to put yourself in the shoes of someone who does not perhaps have that confidence? If so, would your mentoring be the same?

Thank you

Yr most obdt hmble srvt,
Jenna

 

[Hand Sword]

I have been on both sides of this argument Mrs. Jenna. First I would say this: Pre-empting assumes a state of being aware of an impending attack beforehand. If this is so, and you do nothing, and just wait and see, then you deserve what happens. Reacting assumes a state of being caught off guard. This will happen! In that case, all you can do is react, which you will do, one way or another.

Confidence or not, I say the same for everyone. If you are aware of it, take some steps to deal with it. Sometimes turning around and noticing them will deter. They usually wait to catch you off guard. Put your hand while walking on your mace, knife, etc.. Let them pass by, watching them the whole time, cross the street, etc.. If your wrong..No big deal, nothing will have happened, and you could go on your way, as they did. If you are right, you'll be ready.

Since it only comes down to one choice really, which is noticing it and then what.. What choice do you have? It's your physicall well being on the line. Do something to prepare for it.

 

[Jenna]

I have been on both sides of this argument Mrs. Jenna. First I would say this: Pre-empting assumes a state of being aware of an impending attack beforehand. If this is so, and you do nothing, and just wait and see, then you deserve what happens. Reacting assumes a state of being caught off guard. This will happen! In that case, all you can do is react, which you will do, one way or another.

Confidence or not, I say the same for everyone. If you are aware of it, take some steps to deal with it. Sometimes turning around and noticing them will deter. They usually wait to catch you off guard. Put your hand while walking on your mace, knife, etc.. Let them pass by, watching them the whole time, cross the street, etc.. If your wrong..No big deal, nothing will have happened, and you could go on your way, as they did. If you are right, you'll be ready.

Since it only comes down to one choice really, which is noticing it and then what.. What choice do you have? It's your physicall well being on the line. Do something to prepare for it.

OK Hand Sword san
I hear what you are saying and it makes sense. And it is in truth the conclusion that I have been coercing myself into drawing lately. The concept of cowardice is something I have no problem admitting to but as such, your advice is a bitter pill for me to swallow. But still, increasingly I feel it is the right medicine. Got sugar mister Hand Sword san? Or sweetener? Or is coffee only to be drunk black and without?

Thank you again,
Yr most obdt hmble srvt,
Jenna

 

[Hand Sword]

No sugar or sweetner from me, sorry. No coffee either, I've never liked to drink it. How about a nice, cold, Pepsi?

 

[Jenna]

No sugar or sweetner from me, sorry. No coffee either, I've never liked to drink it. How about a nice, cold, Pepsi?

Ah, good for you. Yeah my body is a temple too... With a big altar of chocolate. Come on over anytime you want to celebrate midnight mass, LOL

Jenna

 

[MartialIntent]

Jenna,
A lot of tough talking here. Wanna know something? For some people, talking tough is nothing but a picket fence around their fear so make no comparisons to yourself. Talking tough in itself is not a bad thing though but don't please feel obliged to U-turn who you are in yourself just to face down your situation. As someone else has said, you are not giving yourself credit for what you can do. I have been reading your posts with interest [and some concern] and seeing in your profile that you are nidan level in your Aikido is nothing to be sniffed at. To admit your fear is a big step that many of us can never take, even in the solitaryness of thoughts. But you are one step ahead of the opponent in that respect. Because make no mistake, *no one* fights for keeps without having some fear. And just because you have fewer deep battle scars than someone else, in no way implies you are any less of a toughie.

Practically? In the absence of your final decision on what you intend to do, I'd not be able to add a lot to much of good advice that has been suggested already. I'd imagine that unless you are being sponsored, you will eventually have to return, and if not, I'd assume you would at least *want* to? I'm not that near to your home otherwise, I'd happily call up some friends and "send round a carload" as we say in these parts. I'm sure you could lay your hand to some help though? Some of your family or some of your Aikido guys? I'm not suggesting bodyguards but rather a coming together for a one-off show of strength like this...

A friend of mine found herself in a relationship that turned abusive. As is the case [and I suspect with you perhaps] this went on for some time with her perennially yielding to him - and it was becoming obvous physically too despite the excuses. She told no one, but many of us had the suspicion. I had a discreet word with her three brothers to try to gee them into action and they confronted the abusive partner head on. That maybe doesn't sound promising in aiki terms but there was no violence. There was no need. The partner just needed someone to talk to him gently in his own language, as it were. He subsequently packed up his stuff and walked. I think sometimes guys just need to know that there is a definite line, the crossing of which will not be without consequences for themselves.

Backup is a good idea no doubt. But if you take a decision to move yourself I think there's no need for you to change who you are and how you work it. You are very endearing and genuine. One thing I would ask you to concentrate on is your intent. Your Aikido, especially if it is Aikikai derived is likely not a posturing art and not a combative art. However, it's not your Aikido that needs to change, it's your intent. I'm not saying you have to stick the knife in. What I'm saying is that you have to be prepared to apply the leverages you know beyond that which would constitute *everyday* harmonious Aikido practice. There is neither shame nor contradiction in this as Aikido was never designed as a plaything but a defensive art. If your defense necessitates you pushing a technique until your opponent is broken, screaming or unconscious then *that* is the finishing you were alluding to earlier. We get this question all the time - what does the Aikidoka do when the opponent keeps on keeping on? Well your "finishes" must be applied with more intent every time. The greater the increment of intent, the less the willingness of the opponent and the shorter the duration of them keeping on.

I see from your "Hello" thread [some intro btw!] that you have already had experience of this and I'm assuming this is the same person [apologies if this is incorrect]. Therefore, your intent must be substantially more focussed than previously. Once more will do it, I guarantee and I *know* you have it in you. I can sense from your posts, a strength of character in you that I have only encountered on a very very few occasions.

Sincere Respects!

 

[Ross]

Hey,

Well, my two cents worth are that you can 'pre empt' an attack if you can say to the police after that "I genuinely believed that I was in actual physical danger".

You can be verbally assulted and have the right to defend yourself if you believe that the situation warrants it.

I have taught several lawyers and this was their opinion on the subject.

Hope this helps.

 

[Jenna]

Jenna,
A lot of tough talking here. Wanna know something? For some people, talking tough is nothing but a picket fence around their fear so make no comparisons to yourself. Talking tough in itself is not a bad thing though but don't please feel obliged to U-turn who you are in yourself just to face down your situation. As someone else has said, you are not giving yourself credit for what you can do. I have been reading your posts with interest [and some concern] and seeing in your profile that you are nidan level in your Aikido is nothing to be sniffed at. To admit your fear is a big step that many of us can never take, even in the solitaryness of thoughts. But you are one step ahead of the opponent in that respect. Because make no mistake, *no one* fights for keeps without having some fear. And just because you have fewer deep battle scars than someone else, in no way implies you are any less of a toughie.

Hey mister Doc Holliday Martialintent

I really appreciate you taking the time to reply. And honestly, your words have really made an improvement to the poor state of my logic and reasoning. I think what you said has triggered off lots of little neural connections in me - don't laugh, there really is something between my ears, ha! And yes I do know what you mean about the opponent keeping on. That all makes sense in a way that's simple enough that even I can follow.

The relevance in the story of your friend really makes me sit up and pay attention. No brothers or mafia family for me I'm afraid and I just wouldn't be happy laying all this at the foot of my Aikido partners because I like them all too much to be dragging them all down with me. But it's still an option, you are correct. And options are the things that I maybe don't have so many of right now. Ha! A "carload" sounds about right but with all the fantastic help I have had on here from all you guys, I'm feeling like a self-initiated plan of some sort is maybe developing.

It's brilliant to get this from an Aikido perspective too. I know it sounds stupid in this situation but I'm not so great when it comes to hurting people though I naturally take you point and those of others kind enough to post replies in that it's a necessity and maybe not so much of a contradiction to an aikidoka.

Thank you again for your confidence, your encouragement and your kind words of which I'm not in any way deserving.

Oh, and your avatar and little subtitle thing conjure one of the strongest, coolest movie scenes I can recall. Kudos my friend from somewhere back home

Yr most obdt hmble srvt,
Jenna

 

[MJS]

Hey there tshadowchaser Thank you for your concern, it is sincerely appreciated. I spoke with the local police this morning but they just sort of shrugged in that apathetic way they do here, "what would you have us do about that?" was the reassurance from the duty officer. I truly have no answer to that. It was somewhat condescendingly though politely suggested that I "retourner a votre pays de résidence" ie. go home. This isn't such a good option for me. I left the envelope with them but I get the impression it will have subsequently gone in the bin.

Thank you for your advice. I am heeding it all.
Yr most obdt hmble srvt,
Jenna

The actions of the officer Jenna are not uncommon, even in the states. However, you went with a legitimate complaint and IMHO no matter how big or small it is, that is the job of a LEO, to handle problems, complaints, etc. Having some sort of documentation is important, especially if harrassment like this continues.

Perhaps giving it a second chance with another officer or supervisor might get some better results.

Mike

 

[Jenna]

Hey,

Well, my two cents worth are that you can 'pre empt' an attack if you can say to the police after that "I genuinely believed that I was in actual physical danger".

You can be verbally assulted and have the right to defend yourself if you believe that the situation warrants it.

I have taught several lawyers and this was their opinion on the subject.

Hope this helps.

Hey Ross
Thanks for this, yes it does help certainly. I would agree completely though I think that the legal side is maybe not the biggest concern. I know you Kenpo guys like to go in hard and fast but I would ask you, is retreat and play the "react" card ever a methodology you would apply in your Kenpo? I wonder can you understand that retreat seemed the best option to me? I am concerned that if I preempt, I will make a bigger mess of an already messy situation. In which case, waiting might seem the more prudent option. Does this make any sense?

The only analogy I can think is that I'm sure you've had matches in your time where maybe you had held back at tha start to see what you opponent had in his arsenal. That doesn't have to mean you let him hit you but rather it's a way to avoid going in too slow and getting caught out by his speed for example. Sorry that's probably not such a good analogy...

Regardless, thank you, your thoughts are helping my thoughts

Yr most obdt hmble srvt,
Jenna

 

[Jenna]

The actions of the officer Jenna are not uncommon, even in the states. However, you went with a legitimate complaint and IMHO no matter how big or small it is, that is the job of a LEO, to handle problems, complaints, etc. Having some sort of documentation is important, especially if harrassment like this continues.

Perhaps giving it a second chance with another officer or supervisor might get some better results.

Mike

Hey Mike

Thanks! At least it's some small comfort to know this isn't uncommon. I can recall the whole conversation verbatim Mike and at no time did I feel anyone was taking my allegations with anything resembling the gravity I felt was due. I guess maybe I don't look like the sort of person to warrant it. But You know, that's something I hadn't actually thought of - going back to the police. Of course, I've absolutely nothing to go on at this stage having dumped everything out. Still, I'm in another town so maybe that is an option.

Thank you again for this advice

Yr most obdt hmble srvt,
Jenna