Quotes

Discussion in 'The Locker Room Bar & Grill' started by BlueDragon1981, Nov 10, 2008.

  1. BlueDragon1981

    BlueDragon1981 Brown Belt

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    Simple. Post any quotes you like... um well as long as they follow rules of the forum. Most should.

    The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised.
    - George F. Will
    You must not think me necessarily foolish because I am facetious, nor will I consider you necessarily wise because you are grave.
    - Sydney Smith
    I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That's deep enough. What do you want, an adorable pancreas?
    - Jean Kerr
    As I was walking up the stair / I met a man who wasn't there. / He wasn't there again today. / I wish, I wish he'd stay away.
    - Hughes Mearns
    There are only two kinds of people who are really fascinating: people who know absolutely everything, and people who know absolutely nothing.
    - Oscar Wilde
    We learn something every day, and lots of times it's that what we learned the day before was wrong.
    - Bill Vaughan
    Politics is the skilled use of blunt objects.
    - Lester B. Pearson
    Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
    - Elbert Hubbard
    Conscience is what makes a boy tell his mother before his sister does.
    - Evan Esar
     
  2. Xue Sheng

    Xue Sheng All weight is underside

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    "Never trust a computer you can't throw out a window" - Steve Wozniak

    "Those who are too smart to engage in politics are punished by being governed by those who are dumber." - Plato

    “You can't depend on your judgment when your imagination is out of focus” - Mark Twain

    “I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury.” - Groucho Marx
     
  3. bostonbomber

    bostonbomber Orange Belt

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    Work is the curse of the Drinking class
    - Oscar Wilde
    Screw you guys, I'm going home
    - Eric Cartman
     
  4. BrandonLucas

    BrandonLucas 3rd Black Belt

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    Never tell me the odds.
    -Han Solo
     
  5. MA-Caver

    MA-Caver Sr. Grandmaster

    • MartialTalk Mentor
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    If guns are outlawed, only the government will have guns. Only the police, the secret police, the military, the hired servants of our rulers. Only the government -- and a few outlaws. I intend to be among the outlaws. ~Edward Abbey

    But what do we mean by the American Revolution? Do we mean the American War? The revolution was effected before the war commenced. The revolution was in the minds and hearts of the people. ~Geoffrey F. Abert

    Just because the solutions of problems are not visible at any particular time does not mean those problems will never be alleviated -- or confined to tolerable dimensions. History has a way of changing the very terms in which problems operate and of leaving them in the end, unsolved, to be sure, yet strangely deflated of their original meaning and importance. ~ M.I. Abramowitz

    Women have been trained to speak softly and carry lipstick... Those days are over! ~ Bella Abzug
     
  6. CoryKS

    CoryKS Senior Master

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    "Fat, drunk, and stupid is no way to go through life, son." - Dean Wormer
     
  7. fnorfurfoot

    fnorfurfoot Senior Master

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    "Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the the universe." - Albert Einstein
    "Whether you tell yourself that you can or you can't, you are going to be right. It's your choice." - Henry Ford
     
  8. ackks10

    ackks10 Purple Belt

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    “Ignorance is the curse of God; knowledge is the wing wherewith we fly to heaven.”
    - William Shakespeare (1564-1616)

    Groucho Marx - “From the moment I picked your book up until I laid it down I was convulsed with laughter. Some day I intend reading it.”

    [​IMG] Groucho Marx - “Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.”

    [​IMG] Walt Whitman - “I believe a leaf of grass is no less than the journeywork of the stars.”
     
  9. Xue Sheng

    Xue Sheng All weight is underside

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    Programing today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning. --- Unknown
     
  10. BlueDragon1981

    BlueDragon1981 Brown Belt

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    If people never did silly things, nothing intelligent would ever get done.
    - Ludwig Wittgenstein
    You can only be young once. But you can always be immature.
    - Dave Barry
    Talent hits a target no one else can hit; Genius hits a target no one else can see.
    - Arthur Schopenhauer
    Democracy means government by discussion, but it is only effective if you can stop people talking.
    - Clement Atlee
    Some have been thought brave because they were afraid to run away.
    - Thomas Fuller
    Baseball is 90% mental, the other half is physical.
    - Yogi Berra
    If you don't know what to do, call the media and at least give the appearance of doing something.
    - David Peterson
    Reality is nothing but a collective hunch.
    - Jane Wagner
    Public speaking is the art of diluting a two-minute idea with a two-hour vocabulary.
    - Evan Esar

    Ethics are so annoying. I avoid them on principle.
    - Darby Conley
    How my achievements mock me!
    - William Shakespeare
    I like persons better than principles, and I like persons with no principles better than anything else in the world.
    - Oscar Wilde
    A man is rich in proportion to the number of things he can afford to let alone.
    - Henry David Thoreau
    Elections are won by men and women chiefly because most people vote against somebody rather than for somebody.
    - Franklin P. Adams
    The only time people dislike gossip is when you gossip about them.
    - Will Rogers
    The only time to buy these is on a day with no 'y' in it.
    - Warren Buffett
    There was a time when we expected nothing of our children but obedience, as opposed to the present, when we expect everything of them but obedience.
    - Anatole Broyard
    Science may set limits to knowledge, but should not set limits to imagination.
    - Bertrand Russell

    An optimist stays up to see the New Year in. A pessimist waits to make sure the old one leaves.
    - Bill Vaughan
    Count Hermann Keyserling once said truly that the greatest American superstition was belief in facts.
    - John Gunther
    For a successful technology, reality must take precedence over public relations, for Nature cannot be fooled.
    - Richard Feynman
    The remarkable thing about Shakespeare is that he really is very good, in spite of all the people who say he is very good.
    - Robert Graves
    No one who cannot rejoice in the discovery of his own mistakes deserves to be called a scholar.
    - Donald Foster
    A magician pulls rabbits out of hats. An experimental psychologist pulls habits out of rats.
    - Anonymous
    No man ever listened himself out of a job.
    - Calvin Coolidge
    The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.
    - Mark Twain
    I don't understand the sizes anymore. There's a size zero, which I didn't even know that they had. It must stand for: 'Ohhh my God, you're thin.'
    - Ellen DeGeneres

    My definition of an expert in any field is a person who knows enough about what's really going on to be scared.
    - PJ Plauger
    Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about.
    - Oscar Wilde
    I've wrestled with reality for 35 years, Doctor, and I'm happy to state I finally won out over it.
    - Mary Chase
    Crime does not pay ... as well as politics.
    - Alfred E. Newman
    The things we know best are the things we haven't been taught.
    - Marquis de Vauvenargues
    When a thing ceases to be a subject of controversy, it ceases to be a subject of interest.
    - William Hazlitt
    If you don't find it in the index, look very carefully through the entire catalogue.
    - Unknown
    Democracy is a process by which the people are free to choose the man who will get the blame.
    - Laurence J. Peter
    I'm seventeen and I'm crazy. My uncle says the two always go together. When people ask your age, he said, always say seventeen and insane.
    - Ray Bradbury

    In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man is stoned to death.
    - Joan D. Vinge
    When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth.
    - George Bernard Shaw
    I never did give them hell. I just told the truth, and they thought it was hell.
    - Harry S Truman
    I have a rock garden. Last week three of them died.
    - Richard Diran
    Although prepared for martyrdom, I preferred that it be postponed.
    - Sir Winston Churchill
    You can't find any true closeness in Hollywood, because everybody does the fake closeness so well.
    - Carrie Fisher
    A citizen of America will cross the ocean to fight for democracy, but won't cross the street to vote in a national election.
    - Bill Vaughan
    Eat a live toad the first thing in the morning and nothing worse will happen to you the rest of the day.
    - Unknown
    I was always taught to respect my elders and I've now reached the age when I don't have anybody to respect.
    - George Burns
     
  11. BlueDragon1981

    BlueDragon1981 Brown Belt

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    I like this one. Definitely a good one.


    Here is a fun one....

    Larry the Cable Guy - "If guns kill people then I can blame misspelled words on my pencil"
     
  12. JadecloudAlchemist

    JadecloudAlchemist Master of Arts

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    "No genius is without an admixture of maddness"-Aristole

    "Do you think I couldn't have learned the system too"-Ashida Kim an email to me concerning His Iron body Ninja book


    "If you suffer thank god!!-It is a sure sign that you are alive"-Elbert Hubbard
     
  13. BlueDragon1981

    BlueDragon1981 Brown Belt

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    You know, you can't please all the people all the time... and last night, all those people were at my show.
    - Mitch Hedberg
    I write down everything I want to remember. That way, instead of spending a lot of time trying to remember what it is I wrote down, I spend the time looking for the paper I wrote it down on.
    - Beryl Pfizer
    The last time somebody said, 'I find I can write much better with a word processor.', I replied, 'They used to say the same thing about drugs.'
    - Roy Blount Jr.
    A bore is a man who, when you ask him how he is, tells you.
    - Bert Leston Taylor
    We can have facts without thinking but we cannot have thinking without facts.
    - John Dewey
    Look for the ridiculous in everything and you will find it.
    - Jules Renard
    Anyone who is capable of getting themselves made President should on no account be allowed to do the job.
    - Douglas Adams
    When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
    - Mark Twain
    The nice part about being a pessimist is that you are constantly being either proven right or pleasantly surprised.
    - George F. Will123
     

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