No Warning Signs
- Thread starter MJS
- Start date
I am sure there was signs but with alot of parents and peopel they are to busy to even notice them until after they are committed. We do not do enough to educate peole on what a sign maybe and when a child or person is really hurting and about to snap.
OP
- Thread Starter
- #3
Hey Terry!
You know, I agree with this. I don't know, but I just find it hard to believe that someone just snaps like that, without showing any sign at all. Now, could it be possible? Sure. But IMHO, I tend to lean more towards there being signs, rather than none at all. It is possible that with the father being busy, that he didn't see anything. Now, I'm not taking a shot on the dad or his job, but if you have a demanding job, and I'd imagine a lawyer is a demanding one, its possible that you may not be around enough to see something.
Could this teen have been depressed about something, but was good at hiding it? Could he, despite being active in the church, golf, etc., that he was being bullied at school?
Yes as an ex high school teacher we was always looking at those that seemed to have everything together, they was the ones we was more leery of. Must well manner and perfect childern have problems but are able to hide it from those that are close to them. The pressure sometimes are just to much and the lack of parent awareness to most does not help in these cases.
Warning signs are sometimes very well hidden. Sometimes, they're only recognizable in hindsight.
I'll be surprised if, as the investigation continues, they don't find some indicators -- but they may not be anything that would have made sense or been recognizable until someone put them all together after the fact. For example, a comment made to one person, a paper written in a class, distancing from a third person... but until someone added it all together, none of it would mean anything alone.
I'll be surprised if, as the investigation continues, they don't find some indicators -- but they may not be anything that would have made sense or been recognizable until someone put them all together after the fact. For example, a comment made to one person, a paper written in a class, distancing from a third person... but until someone added it all together, none of it would mean anything alone.
Ray
Master Black Belt
Apologies in advance, but I hope you weren't a high school English teacher?
Many sociopaths are very nice, charming and intellegent people on the outside. They just have no sense of guilt, but are very good at manipulating the way people percieve them.
Signs might get found after the fact, a journal or something along those lines, but when people do these sorts of things, I'm not sure their can be a warning sign that someone is going to kill their family.
I'd also think that as social animals we are programmed to assume the people around us won't do those sorts of things, especially the ones we are closest too who might see warning signs. We have to be, if we where constantly wondering if our family and close friends where suddenly going to whip out a knife and stab us we'd be constantly living in a state of paranoia.
Signs might get found after the fact, a journal or something along those lines, but when people do these sorts of things, I'm not sure their can be a warning sign that someone is going to kill their family.
I'd also think that as social animals we are programmed to assume the people around us won't do those sorts of things, especially the ones we are closest too who might see warning signs. We have to be, if we where constantly wondering if our family and close friends where suddenly going to whip out a knife and stab us we'd be constantly living in a state of paranoia.
I'm sure that in retrospect there were signs. But, who knows how it was in prospect?
His family may have known and were too late to get the needed help.... if they have the "deal with it another time" mentality/attitude, especially when their schedules appears to be so busy. I would hope friends/neighbors may recall of some comments/incidents that raised a potential flag.
- Ceicei
- Ceicei
Honestly you can't know or see unless you live with that person 24/7.
Yeah, his family could've recognized the signs but there's also the thing called denial. Or the self-assuring "he's going through a phase and will get over it soon." They could've been trying to rectify the situation themselves and didn't want outside help. Some folks are like that. "The Family Secret" is a terrible thing, but it happens. Problem is they're not trained to deal with it appropriately.Ceicei said:
After this incident friends and neighbors will recall a lot of things that may (or may not) be true indicators. There again, is the stigma of "none-of-my-business", "all we can do is just pray for them", "we've got our own problems to deal with" and so on.
BrandiJo
Master of Arts
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it could be problems that only the family knows about, and seeing as he killed them all, we will never really know. BUt i know from experience that family's tend to keep unwanted behavior very tight lipped until there is no other option but to spill it. My cousin was suicidal with homicidal tendency's and it took him taking his baby sister hostage in the bedroom with a knife before his parents accepted that he needed outside help ( noone was hurt and he was put in a secure facility for awhile and then foster care for a school year and then he was sent back home). No one really knew he needed help, we saw that something was off with him and we urged his mom to talk to us, but they lived a few hours away from all the other family members so it was hard to know what was going on for sure.
There are almost always signs that something is wrong when things go wrong that badly; unfortunately, many of those signs are only apparent - or only attended to - in retrospect. There is a common tendency to keep problems "in the family", to "not bother others unnecessarily", that often leads to treatable problems growing out of control before action is taken. Ours is often a reactive, rather than proactive, society - and these are problems that need proactive solutions, that, sadly, they often do not receive.
Nomad
Master Black Belt
Denial is a wonderful thing, because it means that anyone who might have seen danger signs and intervened if they were paying attention can then shed feelings of guilt over what happened much quicker.
Gavin De Becker has a lot to say about this sort of thing in "The Gift of Fear". Most of the time, the signs WERE there, but no one chose to recognize them.
