Need advice on what's best for me for self-defense

[kehcorpz]

I'm male 29 and want to learn self-defense due to certain events which are taking place in europe.

But I don't know what would be best for me.

First of all, are there systems which are clearly better than others or at least more useful for beginners?
I want to do something which gives you results as fast as possible.
But I don't want something too brutal like krav maga where you simply kick,punch,hammer at the attacker
until he gives up. I see no real system in this it seems like random defense moves.

I'd rather learn a system of self defense which offers more than a few drills for different life event situations.
Like for example if somebody chokes you from behind then you do ABC. If somebody grabs you by the balls then
you do DEF and so on.
Cause if you only have solutions for scenarios you trained then what do you do if you're in a scenario which you did not train!?
These are some of the things I thought about.

What I also ask myself is which defense system is most complete so that it could deal with attackers which use
other defense systems? Are there systems where you can clearly say that they offer the best solutions for being attacked by other fighters like boxers,wrestlers,kickboxers,karateka...?

I watched some videos about Silat and Wing Chun and found them interesting. It's cool how they use their arms to counter attacks and to block. This looks impressive.
I also heard that wing chun is so good because it uses the optimal fighting distance which is close to the enemy while other arts like boxing don't get so close. I dont know if this is true or not.

some background infos:
I'm not flexible and can't do any high kicks is this an issue? If yes I could try to do stretching but I dont know how to do this without pain.
I am also not physically strong. I'm pretty skinny. Being skinny means you cannot hit as hard as others who ate stronger this sucks.

 

[Monkey Turned Wolf]

What is near you? Whatever advice you are given won't matter if there is not somewhere nearby that teaches it, at a time you can go, and a price you can afford.
With regards to krav maga, it is absolutely a self-defense system, and if you learn it from a good instructor then it is very effective.
With what arts look impressive on youtube, it doesn't mean much. You can make any art look impressive, or make any art look ridiculous, if you know how.
This may be a controversial statement, but IMO being skinny/not overly strong doesn't matter self-defense wise. If you know how to strike the right areas and/or perform throws/takedowns then you're good to go, even if you are skinny.
You do need some muscle, but if you're willing to dedicate yourself to a martial art you should be willing to dedicate yourself to some basic physical training as well.

 

[MAfreak]

from what you told, mma would be good for you. but thats a sport. most of it can be used in self-defense too, but specific techniques you would find in krav maga, which you don't want to do.
everything else is more art than self-defense, so you learn very slow, must do very beautiful kicks, very unrealistic upper body work etc to come further. when you're ok with this, you could try ju jutsu (not bjj) or hapkido. both are very well rounded and not just for grappling OR striking.

btw what you heard of wing chun and boxing is ********. boxing comes very close, ask mike tyson. and wing chun doesn't know about how to fight, for example, after being taken down.

 

[Tez3]

Your profile says you are 17.

What 'certain events' do you believe are happening in 'Europe' that you need to defend yourself from? if you believe you are likely to be targeted there are specific groups that can help, PM if you prefer not to say in public ( although this is a members only place it can be seen by others) and I can help you find people who can help.

 

[Bill Mattocks]

I'm male 29 and want to learn self-defense due to certain events which are taking place in europe.

But I don't know what would be best for me.

First of all, are there systems which are clearly better than others or at least more useful for beginners?
I want to do something which gives you results as fast as possible.
But I don't want something too brutal like krav maga where you simply kick,punch,hammer at the attacker
until he gives up. I see no real system in this it seems like random defense moves.

I'd rather learn a system of self defense which offers more than a few drills for different life event situations.
Like for example if somebody chokes you from behind then you do ABC. If somebody grabs you by the balls then
you do DEF and so on.
Cause if you only have solutions for scenarios you trained then what do you do if you're in a scenario which you did not train!?
These are some of the things I thought about.

What I also ask myself is which defense system is most complete so that it could deal with attackers which use
other defense systems? Are there systems where you can clearly say that they offer the best solutions for being attacked by other fighters like boxers,wrestlers,kickboxers,karateka...?

I watched some videos about Silat and Wing Chun and found them interesting. It's cool how they use their arms to counter attacks and to block. This looks impressive.
I also heard that wing chun is so good because it uses the optimal fighting distance which is close to the enemy while other arts like boxing don't get so close. I dont know if this is true or not.

some background infos:
I'm not flexible and can't do any high kicks is this an issue? If yes I could try to do stretching but I dont know how to do this without pain.
I am also not physically strong. I'm pretty skinny. Being skinny means you cannot hit as hard as others who ate stronger this sucks.

First, welcome to MT.

Second, read this (I wrote it, shameless plug):

Which Art Is Best For You?

Third, everybody says their system is best for every thing. You are not going to get the kind of answers you hope to get - not possible. What you will get is a lot of opinions, from people who are devoted to their own systems and believe in them (I would do the same for my system).

Read the post I made in the link. It should help you.

 

[mograph]

The system may be less important than the training environment. I think you need to train at a place where you would spar a lot, and where you would learn to respond to aggressive, unpredictable attacks from your fellow students.

 

[lklawson]

I'm male 29 and want to learn self-defense due to certain events which are taking place in europe.

But I don't know what would be best for me.

Where do you live? Do you have any infirmities or physical limitations? What martial arts are near you? Have you considered the possibility of more than one martial art or pairing multiple capacities?

Peace favor your sword,
Kirk

 

[pgsmith]

Just out of curiosity, why does your profile say you are 17, but your post says you are 29?
The answers to your questions can be quite different depending upon whether you are 17 or 29.

 

[marques]

Look, train self-defence if you like it. But the really important is the prevention, avoidance, de-escalation, bla bla...
You're more likely to be injured training self-defence than by bad guys. If not, something is wrong with your environment or with you. Or your training is very safe...

 

[JowGaWolf]

First of all, are there systems which are clearly better than others or at least more useful for beginners?

Nope. Everything is difficult in the beginning unless you have trained in something similar.

I want to do something which gives you results as fast as possible.

Learning how to fight or use self-defense takes time. There's no fast road. The speed at which you develop depends on your teacher and your abilities.

But I don't want something too brutal like krav maga where you simply kick,punch,hammer at the attacker
until he gives up. I see no real system in this it seems like random defense moves.

self-defense can be brutal. There is really no half-way approaches to self-defense a person is either giving it their all or not. I'm either being 100% aware of my surroundings or I'm not being aware of my surroundings. It's like a switch that comes on and off when certain things trigger the behavior. Fighting is random. Self-defense is random. Either can change based on environment or people who are standing next to you.

Like for example if somebody chokes you from behind then you do ABC. If somebody grabs you by the balls then
you do DEF and so on.

If you let someone get your back so that they have the option of choking you from behind then you failed in awareness. What you do after the choke depends on what type of choke you are in. If somebody crushes your junk then you are probably just going to do whatever the pain tells you to do. This goes back to fighting being random and self-defense being random. The best that you can do is train for common events and situation and hope that get one.

optimal fighting distance

optimal fighting distance varies. Sometimes it's far, sometimes it close, and in a fight it's going to vary.

Being skinny means you cannot hit as hard as others who ate stronger this sucks.

Not true. Not sure why some people think that skinny people can't hit hard. The problem with skinny people is that they keep thinking that being skinny means that they can't do something and as a result, they never train to make it possible.

 

[JowGaWolf]

Third, everybody says their system is best for every thing.

Yes my system is the best and can beat every system out there. lol.. Just thought I'll prove your point. In reality it's good that many of us feel this way being that many of us probably wouldn't train in a self-defense system if they thought that it wouldn't get them out of a scuffle or two. People who don't train a martial art for self-defense purpose are usually upfront about it.

There's only 2 people we know of that trains in a self-defense system and thinks that the system is totally useless, yet they still train in it lol.

 

[Ironbear24]

The whole if this happens you do ABC or that happens you DEF, is not a great mindset, what happens when ABC doesn't work for you? You need to know how different techniques incase something doesn't work for whatever reason. Don't put all your eggs in one basket, now as far as what is best? I really can't give you a one size fits all answer, every fighting style is pretty good at self defense.

Keep in mind the average moron willing to attack random people will more than likely not be an incredible fighter themselves.

 

[drop bear]

The whole if this happens you do ABC or that happens you DEF, is not a great mindset, what happens when ABC doesn't work for you? You need to know how different techniques incase something doesn't work for whatever reason. Don't put all your eggs in one basket, now as far as what is best? I really can't give you a one size fits all answer, every fighting style is pretty good at self defense.

Keep in mind the average moron willing to attack random people will more than likely not be an incredible fighter themselves.

Yes and no.there are stages to learning. One of them is if he chokes me I do ABC.
Stages of Learning Sport Skills

 

[mograph]

Yes and no.there are stages to learning. One of them is if he chokes me I do ABC.
Stages of Learning Sport Skills

Psychology types would agree with the article: over time, the learning progresses from explicit ("I do this, then I do that") to implicit (just reacting without thinking). Those who have not progressed to the implicit stage would have trouble defending themselves in unpredictable situations.

 

[mograph]

Psychology types would agree with the article: over time, the learning progresses from explicit ("I do this, then I do that") to implicit (just reacting without thinking).

Clarification: I was writing about skill learning, also called procedural learning. Y'know, like sports 'n' martial arts 'n' stuff.

 

[Dylan9d]

I think the whole ABC, Krav Maga-like training can teach you certain things but it won't teach you to improvise. If you get taught a certain set of principles that you can apply in diverse situations rather than techniques it makes you more flexible.

I do think, at least this is my experience, that Silat can teach you this, so principles rather than a set amount of techniques. You do need to find the right teacher for such a mindset and a teacher that is only teaching beladiri (selfdefense).

 

[McBryde Mats]

I gather the immigration situation over in Europe has led you to take up martial arts as self defense, thats great, but remember that its not like you will step inside a dojo and become a ninja overnight, learning to train the CNS to respond instinctively to threats takes a lot of time and practice, in some cases years depending on the student. If you are really concerned, think about non-lethal deterrents such as pepper spray (although i think someone in denmark or sweden got locked up for using it) ...good luck out there, stay safe

 

[Tez3]

I gather the immigration situation over in Europe has led you to take up martial arts as self defense, thats great, but remember that its not like you will step inside a dojo and become a ninja overnight, learning to train the CNS to respond instinctively to threats takes a lot of time and practice, in some cases years depending on the student. If you are really concerned, think about non-lethal deterrents such as pepper spray (although i think someone in denmark or sweden got locked up for using it) ...good luck out there, stay safe

'Immigrant situation'? Please do not believe all you read, there is not an 'immigrant situation' as has been reported by several politically motivated media outlets. There had been violence but these are directed at immigrants and specifically Muslims. This is why I asked the OP why he wanted to learn because Muslims are at risk at the moment and why he may have needed help. If however he was a member of one of the neo Nazi groups who are initiating the violence then I certainly would not be helping him.
People in Europe do not need to be taking up self defence and martial arts because of immigrants, to be honest that is scare mongering of the worst kind. There are terrorist threats of course but there has been for a very long time, it's not new. Look it up, groups here have been targeting European cities for decades, martial arts isn't going to help against these groups.

 

[JowGaWolf]

The whole if this happens you do ABC or that happens you DEF, is not a great mindset, what happens when ABC doesn't work for you? You need to know how different techniques incase something doesn't work for whatever reason. Don't put all your eggs in one basket, now as far as what is best? I really can't give you a one size fits all answer, every fighting style is pretty good at self defense.

Keep in mind the average moron willing to attack random people will more than likely not be an incredible fighter themselves.

Exactly. That's why it's good to drill our kata and techniques over and over until it comes muscle memory. That way we don't have to try to waste time trying to figure out what we should do when something random happens. People who train to look of ABC attack so they can do DEF response will be lost when the attack is something other than ABC.

 

[JowGaWolf]

'Immigrant situation'? Please do not believe all you read, there is not an 'immigrant situation' as has been reported by several politically motivated media outlets. There had been violence but these are directed at immigrants and specifically Muslims. This is why I asked the OP why he wanted to learn because Muslims are at risk at the moment and why he may have needed help. If however he was a member of one of the neo Nazi groups who are initiating the violence then I certainly would not be helping him.
People in Europe do not need to be taking up self defence and martial arts because of immigrants, to be honest that is scare mongering of the worst kind. There are terrorist threats of course but there has been for a very long time, it's not new. Look it up, groups here have been targeting European cities for decades, martial arts isn't going to help against these groups.

My guess that Europe is like the U.S when it comes to immigrants and the topic of crime. I'm guaranteed to see everyday in the news where an American citizen has harmed another American citizen. If I went to a jail or prison, I'll see more Americans in it than immigrants. I tell people all time that I'm more concerned about crazy Americans and violent Americans than I am about someone form a different country hurting me.