limerick time :)

Discussion in 'The Comedy Cafe' started by donnaTKD, Jun 12, 2014.

  1. donnaTKD

    donnaTKD Master Black Belt

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    there once was a man from austrailia
    whose backside was just like a dahlia
    tuppence a smell was all very well
    but 4 pence a lick was a failure

    ..........................................................
     
  2. Randy Strausbaugh

    Randy Strausbaugh Master Black Belt

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    There once was a man from Nantucket
    Who had a goose as big as a bucket
    So great were the size
    Of its legs and its theighs
    If it'd only stand still you could...

    Sorry, I forget the rest.
     
  3. Steve

    Steve Mostly Harmless

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    There once was an incomplete limerick....
     
  4. Randy Strausbaugh

    Randy Strausbaugh Master Black Belt

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    There once was a woman named Laporte
    Who took Mr. Laporte to court
    She said, judge see here
    He stole my brassiere
    And I'm suing for non-support.
     
  5. donald1

    donald1 Senior Master

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    Not quite sure whats a limerick
    But ill be sure to make it quick
    As soon as I learn how
    Or to borrow one from a guy named nick
    Either way I will post it now
     
  6. donnaTKD

    donnaTKD Master Black Belt

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    loving the responses to this thread :)
     
  7. K-man

    K-man Grandmaster

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    My version,

    There once was a girl from Australia
    whose **** was tattooed with a dahlia.
    The drawing was fine, the colour devine,
    But the smell of the bloom was a failure.

    then ...

    There was a young lady from Thrace,
    whose corset grew too tight to lace.
    Her mother said "Nelly, there's more in your belly,
    than ever went in through your face".

    Many others may be not so politically correct these days. ;)
     
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  8. Rumy73

    Rumy73 Black Belt

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    There once was a man who visited Japan
    Who liked a well stocked mamasan
    Then she scratched a certain side
    From which the sun he'd hide
    And for ten yen more he saw her can
     
    Last edited: Jun 13, 2014
  9. Rumy73

    Rumy73 Black Belt

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    There once was a man from Seattle
    Who found his love amongst the cattle
    When she winked and moo-ed
    He kindly winked and pursued
    Making the bovine promise not to tattle
     
    Last edited: Jun 13, 2014
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  10. donald1

    donald1 Senior Master

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    The bear walked down the hill
    Yet it never sat still
    Nobody knew why not even Phil or Jill
    But then up with a leap
    It hid in the mill
    Quite, still, and fast asleep
     
  11. K-man

    K-man Grandmaster

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    A pregnant young woman from Todd
    thought babies a gift from God.
    But 'twas not the Almighty who lifted her nighty,
    'twas Roger the lodger, the sod.
     
  12. Marnetmar

    Marnetmar Black Belt

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    There was a good man from Mass.,
    Who had a magnificent ***.
    Not pretty and pink, as you well may think,
    It was grey, had long ears and ate grass.

    King Reginald Von Hubble of Joice
    Did once shave his balls, twas his choice.
    He slipped, oh how sad,
    The results were quite bad,
    He now has a quite high pitched voice.

    There once was a lad called Lancelot,
    At whom people looked askance a lot.
    For whenever he passed,
    A delectable lass,
    The front of his pant would advance a lot.

    Old mother hubbard,
    Went to the cupboard,
    To get her poor dog a bone.
    But when she bent over,
    Rover took over,
    And gave her a bone of her own.
     
  13. donnaTKD

    donnaTKD Master Black Belt

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    love these :)

    didn't think the members of these boards would get so creative --- nicely done :)

    for the record - PC or not PC lets read them and we can all make up our own minds :) afterall we are all supposed to be adults ;)
     
  14. Dirty Dog

    Dirty Dog MT Senior Moderator Staff Member

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    There once was a man from Stanbul
    Who complained of red streaks on his tool.
    Said the Dr, a cynic, Get OUT of my clinic!
    Try lipstick remover you fool!


    An art buff from London named Snow,
    Accosted a fortnight ago,
    Is said to have quipped, when the flasher unzipped,
    Your exhibit's well hung sir, good show!
     
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  15. K-man

    K-man Grandmaster

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    I suspect homosexuality is off the menu these days ... but

    There once was a plumber from Lee
    who was plumbing his girl by the sea.
    She said, "Stop your plumbing, there's somebody coming!"
    Said the plumber still plumbing... "It's me!"

    :)
     
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  16. K-man

    K-man Grandmaster

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    Then again.


    A policeman from Clapham Junction
    lost the use of his sexual function.
    For the rest of his life, he deceived his poor wife,
    with the dexterous use of his truncheon.

    This thread takes me back to my university days. :)
     
  17. donnaTKD

    donnaTKD Master Black Belt

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    taking me back a few years too :)

    oh and PC or not PC who cares it's about having a laugh - it's not serious so get over it cos any topic goes and the contributions to this thread so far are outstanding :)

    there once was a young lady from ness
    who always looked like a mess
    she was told oil paintings are art
    but hell you look like a tart
    and now she's totally distressed
     
  18. K-man

    K-man Grandmaster

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    A couple of clean ones ..

    There once was a lady from Yale,
    had verses tattooed on her tail,
    and below her behind, for the sake of the blind,
    was a duplicate version in Braille.

    and ...

    There was a young maid from Madras,
    who had a magnificent ***.
    Not rounded and pink, as you probably think.
    It was grey, had long ears, and ate grass.
     
  19. donnaTKD

    donnaTKD Master Black Belt

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    LoL k-man :)123
     

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