How to Understand Engineers - A Primer
- Thread starter Carol
- Start date
OP
- Thread Starter
- #2
Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said, "Where did you get such a great bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
The second engineer nodded approvingly.
"Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit.
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground, took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want."
The second engineer nodded approvingly.
"Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have fit.
OP
- Thread Starter
- #4
An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, "I like both."
"Both?"
Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some work done."
"Both?"
Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the lab and get some work done."
OP
- Thread Starter
- #5
An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girl friend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."
:roflmao:
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.
The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.
Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?"
The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer. I don't have time for a girl friend, but a talking frog, now that's cool."
:roflmao:
CoryKS
Senior Master
:rofl:
What does a fish say when he runs into concrete?
DAM!
HA!!! I've never met anyone that wasn't an engineer that thought it was funny.
DAM!
HA!!! I've never met anyone that wasn't an engineer that thought it was funny.
OP
- Thread Starter
- #9
:lfao: :lfao: :lfao:
thardey
Master Black Belt
:roflmao: :roflmao: :rofl:
And the issue with any of these is?
Us engineers are a simple breed.
Us engineers are a simple breed.
Xue Sheng
All weight is underside
:lfao:
To me it means I need a refill.
Damn now it is all so perfectly clear to me why I never did succeed at Engineering
HA, I'm not an engineer and that is funny
To me it means I need a refill.
Damn now it is all so perfectly clear to me why I never did succeed at Engineering
HA, I'm not an engineer and that is funny
MAN! All of my friends just roll their eyes when I tell it. Of course, I don't have too many other jokes. At least ones that I can tell in public.
Cirdan
Senior Master
So very true all of them... well except maybe the bike thing :uhyeah:
I know those people!
avm247
Yellow Belt
(In the U.S.)
Architects and Dogs are LICENSED.
Engineers and Sex Offenders are REGISTERED.
"I had to be an architect - that's all they taught me." - Bruce Goff (1904-1982)
Architects and Dogs are LICENSED.
Engineers and Sex Offenders are REGISTERED.
"I had to be an architect - that's all they taught me." - Bruce Goff (1904-1982)
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Yeah, but remember-engineers do it with precision...
No one should want their child to be an engineer.
They are geeks and get picked on.
They have "the Knack" and it confuses normal people.
They understand and make work things that are confusing to others.
They design and build all the toys we use every day. No one ever thanks them for their work for this. But if something ever breaks, boy do they complain and or bring a legal suit.
If a lawyer does not get a defended off, then the person must have been guilty. If the ADA did not get the conviction then the person must have been innocent. (* Excluding technical issues *) People joke about Lawyers, i.e. "Kill all the lawyers" but this mostly from jealousy not becuase of any personal dislike.
Doctors diagnose and try to save people. Yet when they do not it was just beyond their means or it was their time. ( Excluding malpractice issues *) No one goes back and brings suit against them for a surgery that happened 30 years ago and there is new technology to make it better today.
Yet, people will bring suit against a manufacturer for a product made in the 50's, that has the UL stamp, but does not meet todays' standard. So now it is the fault of the company and the engineer for not designing a system that would meet that standards of the future.
Engineers are engineers because for some wierd reason they enjoy it. But no one beside thsoe that become enginners really wish it upon any one.
And now for one of the biggest reasons for not being an engineer:
A personal Ad I saw years ago:
" I am looking for someone who stable, and consistent, not into playing games with people, someone logical and knows what they want. Someone who can fix the things around the house, or knows when to get help. Someone who is financially stable and has plans to be such when they retire. Looking for someone who is not on call all the time and can spend time with me and "our" kids in the future. - Please No engineers!"
Up until the last couple of lines it could have been a lawyer or doctor or engineer or someone who independantly wealthy. With the time constraints it took the Lawyer and Doctor our of the picture. Which left Engineer, ..., but she specifically stated no engineers.
I know this is once case, but I have seen it numerous times.
Yet, I am glad I am an engineer.
TimoS
Master of Arts
The Knack
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