Bullies: Bening bullied and bullying

[chaosomega]

I've had many experiences with bullies, but I'll relate with you my most recent...

Whilst getting off the train (public transit) I saw a small teenager (no more than 15) push an asian guy in his twenties (probably 2 feet taller than this kid) for no apparent reason. I don't now why, but I just walked up to this kid and pushed him back and said "How do you like it?".

Then the little shrimp starts spouting off "Do you know who I am!?!" So I just go along with this... "No."
Then his thugger buddies start crowding around as I walk to the building at the end of the platform.
One of them comments that I'm 'f***ed'.

I walk to the other end of the building, where the busses are and walk out the front door. As soon as I'm out I lean against a wall. The kid approaches me and asks me to 'step off camera so I can beat you'. I tell him no and he asks 'why not'. And I say "Cuz I can just do it right here", and I feint a front kick to his midsection. Someone announces that they will call the cops and Tom Thumb backs down, because he doesn't want to go to 'juvie'. I was suprised at how calm I was on the exterior, despite being wholly terrified.

Probably not the smartest thing I've done... (I'm trying to THINK first nowadays) But I was a hotheaded teenager... I still am, but not as much.

So what are some of your experiences?

 

[kenpo12]

I was a pretty scrawny kid growing up and had kids attempt to bully me quite often. As long as the bullying remaned verbal I did nothing but walk away. On the few occasions where a bully attempted to get physical with me in anyway I beat the hell out of them. I wasn't big but only one time did a bully ever put up much of a fight and in that case even though he got the better of me, it was too much work for him and he never picked a fight with me again. I hate bullies, thugs, and "tough guys".
It's always been my belief to not fight, but if a bully attempts to touch you or hurt you, beat them with everything you have. Even if they are bigger and you lose, they are looking for easy prey and if they have to take a beating to give one, they'll leave you alone.

 

[Cruentus]

The bullying started for me at preschool age. I had eye problems, coordination disabilities, and I walked with a limp (had to have special lifts put in my shoes to straighten me out), and I was hyperactive and annoying (for those of you who know me....I'm sure this will be hard for you to believe... ).

So needless to say I was a target for a long time. Even when I started TKD when I was 7 years old, it took me a long time before I gained the intestinal fortitude to use it on my bullies...plus I was so used to getting bullied, it was difficult to break out of the pattern.

6th grade, I was small for my grade. I put a bully who was a year older and much bigger then me in the hospital. That solved all my problems through middle school.

9th grade...I was into sports and Martial Arts, and I had hit a growth spurt early. I was about 150 lb at age 14, and I could bench a little over 200lb. I was also a clowner not a fighter, and I'd rather screw around and crack jokes then hurt people. However, some of the Bad @$$ thugish seniors saw my size and age as an opportunity for bullying: they could look tough by beating up someone their size, but they felt that they were almost insured a win because of my age.

Now these kids were drug dealers much of the time. They carried weapons to school often, and usually packed a gun on the weekends, or in their cars in the school parking lot. Being 14 years old, I was outmanned clearly. I didn't mind fighting one on one, but for one I didn't want to hurt anyone, and for 2 I didn't have the friends at 14 who could back me up against 17, 18, and 19 year olds; and they were the type where their friends would jump in. So I played it real careful. I always backed down to verbal intimidation and walked away, because I knew if I flew off the handle I'd have to deal with a group of 18 year olds with weapons after school. But, as always with bullies, verbal intimidation is never enough; if they aren't getting the results they want then they will always escalate to physical intimidation, which I never let fly. I had been learning Joint manipulation and takedowns, so when they'd try to shove me, or punch at me in school, I took them down and repeated my mantra, "I don't want to fight you.." That disipated a few people, and they never bothered me after that. Some got angry and tried to catch up with me after football practice; most never found me because (although I never told anyone this when I was in school) I took shortcuts in between houses and woods, they always looked for me in their cars and along my street. There was one time that a group of kids (2 were 18 year old seniors, and 2 were in their early 20's) came looking for me after school, and they found me. Iwas very lucky. The one guy jumped out of his car, taking his shirt off he was like, "So, you think your tough. Here I am *****, lets go right now!" btw, he was also a known steroid user, so needless to say I was outsized. I knew I was screwed; I couldn't out run 4 guys in a car, they had weapons, and if I managed to start winning against the steroid popper, his friends would jump in and make SURE I wasn't going to win. So I took my chances and calmly said, "Look, if your going to kick my ***, I can't stop you. Your bigger, tougher, and older then me. But I have told you already, I won't fight you." Then I turned my back on him and walked away. Luckily, he got back in his car.

"gang fighting" had started to get popular late winter of my freshman year. They weren't actual "gangs", but they were just groups that got together after sporting events and such to beat the crap out of each other. So, contact fighting, martial arts, and "kickboxing" in particular became popular. hands down, the toughest martial arts school in the area at the time was where I was training out of; Kerry Roops Superkicks. They had champion level instruction there for competitive martial arts; Kerry himself was a world champion Kickboxer. I had been kickboxing, and I would help instruct the new guys who came in. Many of those "tough guys" who had a grudge against me from putting them down (and long term plans to do something about it) became my students for a few hours. Some had to put the gloves on to test me out, but in the end, they had a new found respect for me.

By my 15th Birthday, I no longer had ANY problems with anyone in my high school. It was a long freshman year, but by the end of it no one would touch me. The rest of my "high school" career was very peaceful.

Moral: Well, I'd say that all bullies are looking for is some kind of affirmation of their "toughness." Deep down, they are completely insecure. They want a sure win, an easy target. If they don't think you'll retaliate, or if they think you'll be easy to beat up on, they keep at you. If you show them that you are not an easy target, even if you get beat up you'll be respected. You may have to fight back 2 or 3 times before this happends, but in the long run, they don't really want the trouble, they just want to look tough. Same goes for defending someone. If you defend a 3rd party from a bully, they might be pissed off at first and want to fight you, but in the long run whoever you defended is no longer an easy target for them, so they'll move on.

PAUL

 

[MA-Caver]

Scrawny, skinny and could blow over in a stiff breeze made me the token whipping boy at my high school(s). My experience with bullies came to an end when I decided NO-MAS! I started using and learning the MA that has served me well in the last of my high-school year (drop out at 9th) and into the two years of college I recieved.
Bullies are insecure beastards I'll agree. Having to make up for what either goes on at home or their stupidity. I found it to be human nature as well. Somewhere there's always some poor slob who feels that it's their god-given right to pick on the weak and small. A hold over from our Cro-mangon days where Darwinism was at it's peak in terms of human development.
Poor parententing is ONE of the causes of a kid turning into a bully, but there are many more.
If a child is small he/she should be taught early on not to take any crap from anyone. Don't let your kid be a pre-Marty George McFly... get them into MA and give them the self confidence they need.

My favorite bully story was when I was enrolled in one of Dallas' toughest highschools (North Dallas HS) during 79-81. It was a blender of blacks, hispanics (from all over), asians and whites. 500+ students and every male from every ethnic/social class had to prove who they were.
This one hispanic guy kept spouting off stuff to me in gym class about my parentage and pushed me to the point where I *****-slapped him a good one. The gym teacher heard the slap and broke up the fight before it even started. Vowing vengance the guy laid in wait for me after the bell. In the narrow confines of the hallway between classes I had no choice but to face him having students surrounding us and lockers on either side. The guy outweighed me by about 110 lbs easy and thus cornered me and began his "punishment" for slapping him like (he was) a girl.
He hit me, square on the jaw and only managed to jerk my head to the side a little bit. All the while he kept asking "you gonna hit me again?" then pow another right cross to my jaw. Nothing. I was so psyched up that I didn't feel anything from him. I had glasses on and didn't want to make myself vunerable by taking them off and having my guard down while finding someone (a hopeful ally) to hold them for me.
I was also under restraint from outer-forces being the principal and my eldest brother (with whom I lived with at the time) NOT-TO- FIGHT!
So the guy hit me again and again... 7 times and a perfect contact with my jaw but failed to even stagger me. He was putting his shoulder into it and really busting me but I just stood there and took it.
To my (post-fight) amusement I saw his buddies behind him having that "uh-oh" look on their faces when I failed to go down. Finally #8 he goes wild and strikes me on the temple knocking my glasses off and I ease into a fighting stance. "Ah! That's what I needed to do!" he crowed and launched another punch at me and that's all I remember...except for the three guys trying to pull me off him because I was stuffing him into one of those hall-lockers. They managed to disengage me from the now fightless guy who was half in/out of one of those lockers and bleeding from several facial wounds.
A nerd/geek handed me my glasses (unbroken thankfully) and I stalked off to the principal's office in tears. Told him what happened and he called my brother and I was sent home. Returned the next day.
What they (the admiring crowd of geeks/nerds and losers) told me later what happened was that when the guy swung again I ducked it and grabbed him. Picked him up by the front of his shirt and bodily threw him into the locker, grabbed his hair and pounded his head back into the metal door several times. Blows to the face and body went so fast that they couldn't be counted and then a locker sprang open and I started to stuff the guy into it...that's when they (the three jocks) tried to pull me off.
The guy and I pretty much avoided each other for the rest of the year.
Several more later that year tried their hand at me and one of them got me good. But largely I was left pretty much alone.

Back then weapons at school were un-heard of. Am sure now that if the same thing were to happen I'd probably get stabbed or shot to death. THAT'S a sad thing indeed.
Bullies are going to be a young man (and sometimes lady's) cross to bear during formative years of their youth. How they deal with them will affect their character as adults. It's been a hard lesson but an invaluable one that I needed to learn how to defend myself no matter how-much I abhor (real-life) violence.

:asian:

 

[7starmantis]

I never really recieved much bullying being a pertty big kid. I got into MA pretty young and most kids new it and left me alone. I had a few incidents, but none worth speaking of. My friends however, were not so lucky. I was raised to look at people on the inside not the outside, so I had good freinds who were not exactly the most athletic, or "coolest" in the bunch, but they were my friends none-the-less. I spent most of my younger (under20) years defending people who get bullied. I hate to see someone bullied, it just rips me up inside.

When I was about 8 or 9 I was in a public restroom at the T-Ball (heh) park when these three teenager guys came in and started tryin to mess with me. My older brother came busting in and pushed me outside only to receive a pretty bad beating and some nasty "swirlies" in the public toilets. Standing outside screaming for help listening to my older brother take a beating for me, I decided I would never again let anyone take a beating for me, or let anyone in my sight be bullied. So I started learning MA.

kinda korny, but true....

7sm

 

[drunken mistress]

I took my son to karate because he was being bullied. For months we tried to sort it out by telling teachers,writing letters to the school, etc. No good. Across the summer I took him to karate and kept it a secret until he´d got his yellow belt. I study with him too. He proved to have a lot of talent at Karate. It fitted him far more naturally than football, for instance. Now, eight months later, he beats school bullies of all ages on behalf of himself or his friends. Violence is the only thing a bully can understand.

 

[Tony]

Hi All

I'm new to this forum and i was reading all these posts on bullying! I noticed that everyone on here was a lot luckier than me. I was bullied at school every day and I never fought back because for one good reason I thought at the time was I didn't want to get into trouble! At primary school I would get into fights all the time and soon the teachers found out and being shouted at wasn't a nice thing for me!
Having only a slight knowledge of Judo when I was 10 didn't help and it was only when I was 21 that I began learning Kung fu, but I think the damage had been done as I had never been able to defend myself when I was young and that has serious psychological consequences in later life. Although I have reached blue sash I still would not want to get into a fight for fear of getting hurt.
So good for you, that you all started learning Martial Arts early and are not victims anymore! It makes me mad when I think I should have fought back at school. I let people who were smaller than me pick on me and people who intimidated me with verbal insults. So I say to anyone who is being bullied and learning Martial Arts or wants to learn then learn now while you're young so that you won't be a victim for the rest of your life!
And don't be afraid to fight back! When someone has attacked you physically they have lost the right to be respected and they should be prepared for the consequences.
I had a good teacher at school who dealt with the people who were my tormentors and some didn't bully me again but I guess they saw me as a joke running to the teacher, but I never ran to him, he simply found out from some of my other classmates. Yes thats right some of them told him but they did nothing to stop it!
Even now I'm scared of getting into a confrontation!