Turtle ask a question about asking students to leave my question is this have you ver called or wrote to see if a formal student would come back an train with you after a fallout? Or do you feel it could never be once that line was crossed?
Bringing back formal student
- Thread starter terryl965
- Start date
Xue Sheng
All weight is underside
From the formal student POV, yes
I was a formal student of my Taiji sifu for years and we had a falling out and I left for about 6 months. I returned and things are much better now.
I was a formal student of my Taiji sifu for years and we had a falling out and I left for about 6 months. I returned and things are much better now.
Nomad
Master Black Belt
I think a lot would depend on the circumstances surrounding how and why the person left. If they left "badly", they would not be invited back. If they left on good terms, then they certainly would be welcome, and we have several students who did this (left for varying periods of time, then rejoined years later).
I think the onus is on the student, though. They have to decide on their own for whatever reason that they would like to start up again, and contact us. Having the instructors contact students who left to try to get them to rejoin would be both invasive and in 99% of cases a waste of time.
I think the onus is on the student, though. They have to decide on their own for whatever reason that they would like to start up again, and contact us. Having the instructors contact students who left to try to get them to rejoin would be both invasive and in 99% of cases a waste of time.
Of course it would depend on the reason & it would be up to the discretion of the instructor.
I experienced an incident where two adult BB's were sparring before our master came to the dojang. One accidental low blow was responded with a hard illegal hit & it escalated from there. Next thing I noticed, one calls the other outside to "settle it." One BB was a highly respected world-class fighter & the other a young master who was apprentising (sp?) under our master. It was a good thing we had an ubundance of BB's there that night to separate these two. When Sa Bum came in they were just getting pulled apart. He called them both into his office, then booted them both out. The fighter came back at least 3 times over the course of a year & begged to be allowed back. After a year, he was let back. The young master was never allowed back. I obviously don't know all the circumstances, but it was a lesson in how to screw up a cherished relationship pretty quickly.
I experienced an incident where two adult BB's were sparring before our master came to the dojang. One accidental low blow was responded with a hard illegal hit & it escalated from there. Next thing I noticed, one calls the other outside to "settle it." One BB was a highly respected world-class fighter & the other a young master who was apprentising (sp?) under our master. It was a good thing we had an ubundance of BB's there that night to separate these two. When Sa Bum came in they were just getting pulled apart. He called them both into his office, then booted them both out. The fighter came back at least 3 times over the course of a year & begged to be allowed back. After a year, he was let back. The young master was never allowed back. I obviously don't know all the circumstances, but it was a lesson in how to screw up a cherished relationship pretty quickly.
I don't think I would call the student, but if approached by the student with an apology/remorse, a request to resume training, depending on the reason for the fallout, I think they should be given a chance to redeem themselves.
If the student contacts the Instructor to be let back in, and if the Instructor grants the request, I think the Instructor should also place the student on a minimum six month probation to see how he behaves in that period.
If the student displays no sign of trouble in that period, the Instructor can welcome him back.
If the student displays no sign of trouble in that period, the Instructor can welcome him back.
For me it depends upon the details of the fallout. what happened and why. If In hindsight I think I may have been in error or if it was a communication problem I will not hesitate to reach out and try and mend fences.
If I no longer trust the person then things are better left alone.
If I no longer trust the person then things are better left alone.
My master and I fell out and we havent spoken to each other in over a year. At times I want to shoot him a email and say hi. I feel bad b/c we were close and it was like loosing a good friend.
I think if 2 can sit down and talk and come to a understanding or even just leave the past in the past and move forward then that is best. Now of course this all depends on what happened originally. Many of times Im sure it is (just like relationships) a lack of communication and pride which gets in the way.
I think if 2 can sit down and talk and come to a understanding or even just leave the past in the past and move forward then that is best. Now of course this all depends on what happened originally. Many of times Im sure it is (just like relationships) a lack of communication and pride which gets in the way.
kittybreed
Green Belt
My old grandmaster asked me to approach a former student at a tournament to see if she would come back. She did not but was glad to know she was welcome. I think he had too much pride to talk to her himself.
OP
- Thread Starter
- #11
You are probaly right but maybe if he did she would have come back
The Instructor/student relationship is based on trust and respect. If a student breaks that relationship (goes behind my back or lack of respect), I most likely would not want them back.
But everyone is capable of change, and I also believe in forgiveness and redemption (remember-even Darth Vader redeemed himself). If a student genuinely wants to change and be forgiven, I would consider taking him back.
But everyone is capable of change, and I also believe in forgiveness and redemption (remember-even Darth Vader redeemed himself). If a student genuinely wants to change and be forgiven, I would consider taking him back.
DArnold
Purple Belt
As an instructor I never chase students.
Either they want what I have or not.
Now on the other hand if there are discrepancies then these need to be solved.
99% of the worlds problems come from communication.
OP
- Thread Starter
- #14
I agreed completely
