12 Rules of Life

K

KenpoGirl

Guest
Sometimes we just need to remember what the 12 Rules of Life really are...

1. Never give yourself a haircut after three margaritas.

2. You need only two tools: WD-40 and duct tape. If it doesn't move and it should, use WD-40. If it moves and it shouldn't, use the tape.

3. The five most essential words for a healthy, vital relationship are "I apologize" and "you are right."

4. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.

5. Never pass up an opportunity to pee.

6. If he/she says that you are too good for him/her -believe them.

7. Learn to pick your battles; ask yourself, "Will this matter one year from now? How about one month? One week? One day?"

8. When you make a mistake, make amends immediately. It's easier to eat crow while it's still warm.

9. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You have another chance!

10. Living well really is the best revenge. Being miserable because of a bad or former relationship just might mean that the other person was right about you.

11. Work is good, but it's not that important. Money is nice, but you can't take it with you. Statistics show most people don't live to spend all they saved; some die even before they retire. Anything we have isn't really ours; we just borrow it while we're here....even our kids.

12. And finally... Be really good to your family and friends. You never know when you are going to need them to empty your bedpan.
 
For some reason I think I have fit into a few or more of those categories.:eek:
 
You forgot that duct tape, string and bubble gum can fix almost everything ..... hey, don't pick on me. I was raised by a red-neck LOL.
 
Don't forget needle-nose pliers and bailing wire.:wink2:

Trying to avoid life's potholes,
Randy Strausbaugh
 
That was a badly needed tutoring for me!:(
 
Originally posted by jfarnsworth
You know what they say.

If the shoe fits .... ..:rofl:

I ain't Cinderella.................:mad:
 
and remember, on yer death bed, you'll never wish you spent more time at the office.
 
Does that mean at midnight he would change to Frank Dux? Just wondering.:D

Trying to avoid life's potholes,
Randy Strausbaugh
 
Originally posted by Seig
Thank God! I can imagine you in a pumpkin! :barf:

Hey, I ain't that bad. Got the bod that men fear, women ,love!:cool:
 
Originally posted by Randy Strausbaugh
Does that mean at midnight he would change to Frank Dux? Just wondering.:D

Trying to avoid life's potholes,
Randy Strausbaugh

No, a rejuvenated Frank Trejo, "The Masta of Disasta!":cool:
 
I check the obits every day in the newspaper. If my name isn't in there, I go on to work.

:D
 
Originally posted by Ender
and remember, on yer death bed, you'll never wish you spent more time at the office.
I guess you never met the plant manager at the Post Office.LOL:D
 
Originally posted by rachel
I guess you never met the plant manager at the Post Office.LOL:D

Yes I have seen her at the local post office here. AND she is SCARY!:eek:
 
Originally posted by Seig
A rock with a piece of string wrapped around it? Boy are you bringing the wrong weapon top this fight.

Wrong Bolo. But BOLO, THE CHINESE HERCULES!:cool:
 
Back
Top