Chuck Norris Facts!

[Cruentus]

Anyone seent his one yet?

http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/index.html

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

Lol Friggin hilarious! :boing2:

 

[Shirt Ripper]

The Mr. T ones a excellent as well, but not the Vin Deisel ones because he's lame.

 

[Cruentus]

OMG!

If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, "Two seconds 'til." After you ask, "Two seconds 'til what?" he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

The quickest way to a man's heart is with Chuck Norris' fist.

What was going through the minds of all of Chuck Norris' victims before they died? His shoe.

Chuck Norris doesn't churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out.

Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.

If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.

Chuck Norris discovered a new theory of relativity involving multiple universes in which Chuck Norris is even more badass than in this one. When it was discovered by Albert Einstein and made public, Chuck Norris roundhouse-kicked him in the face. We know Albert Einstein today as Stephen Hawking.

Chuck Norris doesn't shower, he only takes blood baths.

Chuck Norris does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.

Dude...this is the funniest thing I think I have ever seen! I am litterally laughing outloud at my computer screen...

 

[Cruentus]

There is like over 9 pages of these...and I could sit here and read every one!

When Chuck Norris talks, everybody listens. And dies.

On his birthday, Chuck Norris randomly selects one lucky child to be thrown into the sun.


Dude...I am going to bed now in tears of laughter. Have fun, all...

 

[Drac]

My night shift Sgt told me about this and we all sat in the dispatch center laughing out loud at what we read..My favorite?? "Before the boogeyman goes to bed he check his closet for Chuck Norris"...

 

[OUMoose]

Personal Fav: "The tears from Chuck Norris cure cancer. Too bad he's never cried... ever..."

 

[Carol]

There was a really good one on the Health and Nutrition Tips board.

"Chuck Norris does not get flu shots. The flu gets Chuck Norris shots"

 

[HKphooey]

Those are all great.

 

[bobster_ice]

Lmao, Chuck Norris can make any women climax by simply pointing at her and saying "Booyah"!

 

[Kreth]

"Chuck Norris can divide by zero"

:lol:

 

[Carol]

Chuck Norris knows the last digit of Pi

 

[crushing]

Chuck Norris once side kicked Bruce Lee and thus created Jet Li and Jackie Chan.

 

[Cruentus]

just to keep it going...

If you get roundhouse kicked in the face by Chuck Norris in your dream, you DIE!

 

[Carol]

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his father did. :rofl:

 

[bobster_ice]

Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his father did. :rofl:

Lmao!

 

[Cruentus]

Chuck Norris delivers more male with one thrust of his pelvis than the U.S. Postal Service and the Pony Express have combined for the last 146 years.

 

[MartialIntent]

Chuck Norris CAN find a needle in a haystack. And then kill a man with the needle. OR the haystack.

Chuck Norris actually speaks three languages: English, Pain, and Death. He is currently working on a fourth language, Dismemberment, and is doing quite well.

Respects!

 

[Xue Sheng]

Chuck Norris can stretch diamonds back into coal

And I really hope he never sees this or we are all doomed

 

[kilo]

When Chuck Norris wants popcorn, he breathes on Nebraska.

 

[stone_dragone]

The Merciful Chuck has seen these and has his own favorite list.

Thus, Chuck giveth and Chuck taketh away.