Adults mistreating and/or killing young children

[Ceicei]

I saw this article yesterday on ABC News of a tragedy in Saudi Arabia. Because of a family dispute, a 15-month old child is beheaded.

http://abcnews.go.com/International/story?id=4385517&page=1

Location of where this happened is not the focus of the thread. The focus of the thread is to discuss how adults could become so cold-hearted as to inflict injury to very young children.

It almost seems as if such callousness are inflicted more often by family/relatives than by strangers. One would think that in theory, just because of the nature of relationships (whether through blood relations or marriage), there would be more caring for each other. Unfortunately, this is often not so.

Culture aside, we cannot say it is due to a country being "less civilized" because even in supposedly "more civilized" societies, there are plenty of stories telling of adults mistreating and/or killing young children.

1) What are the possible causes that may lead adults to mistreat/kill young ones? What changed? Did the social expectations/rules/mores become diluted or unreasonable? Why do people sometimes think this is a new phenomenon when such mistreating/killing of the young has been around for so many years?

2) How can familial bonds be strengthened? How can such situations be prevented?

- Ceicei

 

[Empty Hands]

Society hasn't changed. There wasn't some sort of golden age of child reverence that we have fallen from. If anything, our current world is far more protective of children collectively and individually than in the past.

Even as soon ago as the late 19th/early 20th century, child mortality was extremely high. No particularly strong bond was formed with especially young children, since so few of them would survive. For those that did survive, their parents used them as quickly as it was practical for a child work force. Both on the farm and in factories in the cities, children were used and worked as hard as the adults. Children were particularly hard used in the factories, as there were parts of the machines only they could reach due to their small hands. Hey, if they lost a hand sticking it in some huge machine, ce'est la vie, there are plenty more poor kids around. Children were also heavily used as prostitutes.

As for now, there are billions of people on the planet. Child bonding is a trick of brain chemistry, so it is no surprise that some percentage of the population won't make that connection in the right way. Thus, they treat their children just as poorly as most everyone else treats other adults. Finally, there will always be a certain percentage of sadists, sociopaths, and psychopaths that will have children and predictably mistreat them.

As for prevention, there are only two practical ways as I see it. Greater education and outreach for the merely ignorant or misinformed parents, and aggressive intervention and removal for the children of people with mental illnesses like the above.

 

[MA-Caver]

Society hasn't changed. There wasn't some sort of golden age of child reverence that we have fallen from. If anything, our current world is far more protective of children collectively and individually than in the past.

Even as soon ago as the late 19th/early 20th century, child mortality was extremely high. No particularly strong bond was formed with especially young children, since so few of them would survive. For those that did survive, their parents used them as quickly as it was practical for a child work force. Both on the farm and in factories in the cities, children were used and worked as hard as the adults. Children were particularly hard used in the factories, as there were parts of the machines only they could reach due to their small hands. Hey, if they lost a hand sticking it in some huge machine, ce'est la vie, there are plenty more poor kids around. Children were also heavily used as prostitutes.

As for now, there are billions of people on the planet. Child bonding is a trick of brain chemistry, so it is no surprise that some percentage of the population won't make that connection in the right way. Thus, they treat their children just as poorly as most everyone else treats other adults. Finally, there will always be a certain percentage of sadists, sociopaths, and psychopaths that will have children and predictably mistreat them.

As for prevention, there are only two practical ways as I see it. Greater education and outreach for the merely ignorant or misinformed parents, and aggressive intervention and removal for the children of people with mental illnesses like the above.

I'd have to agree with Empty Hands here... also adding that the mentality of a parent to their child or family's mentality to other family is that it's theirs to do with as they want. They can be as kind or as cruel to their own because it's theirs.
You can discipline your child as you see fit but not anyone else's because they may see it differently. Culture where the families are have a huge influence on how children are treated. Laws also dictate how treatment is conducted.
I was watching Shogun (tv miniseries on DVD) and the Englishman was struggling to understand the Japanese culture of the day (17th century), of how a child would be slaughtered for a parent's indiscretion, and how a parent had the right to slaughter their own children for their indiscretions if they saw the need to. The interpreter begged the Englishman to understand that their culture was over 1000 years old and it's the way that they've been doing it for that long.
Now such things would be illegal in Japan and elsewhere where the laws state. Such things are legal in countries where the laws would support such actions.
We are appalled at them because we are taught they are wrong. They are not taught so. We are all the product of our teachings as we grow up. They see it shameful at how we allow women in our country to walk around beaches in skimpy bathing suits where they would not. We see it shameful that they cover their women head to toe. Who's right? Who is wrong?
Same with our children. We allow our children to mingle with anyone of different faiths, they would not, and so on.

Family bonds as you know Ceicei, are strengthened in the home. By a set of values and a code of moral conduct dictated by you and your husband. Your values & code of conduct(s) are strongly influenced by your faith/religion, as well as the law of the land. Your faith/church (as I know very well) has given you (and your husband) guidelines on how families are treated in the home, the roles of the individual parents. To you and your husband they are proven methods. To someone else they may be unsound or unproven methods. To someone else of differing faiths/beliefs/values.
Who's right? Who's wrong?

IMO if the children are relatively happy, generally healthy and whole then the parents are doing something right.

 

[Cryozombie]

And lets not forget people who have children they didnt want in the first place, who then don't see them as a treasure, but as a burden, a problem, and somthing that "ruined" their life... how do you convince someone like that the child should be gathered, nurtured, valued, and not hated, beaten, or abused?
​

 

[Steel Tiger]

I happen to think that children are currently being brought up in the most enlightened and caring environment they have had in all of human history and prehistoryand, yet, things like this happen and they are a lot more common than we would really like to think about.

The stated reason for the murder of the child in the Suadi story is that the murderer wanted to get back at his brother-in-law who kept threatening to take the child away from the mother. There is no logic here, or rather, it is the logic of the rage addled mind. And that is reason children suffer. They are often a convenient target for rage, especially if that rage is primarily directed at someone the angered person cannot harm, because they are stronger or more powerful or something like that.

The idea that an adult, especially a parent, can inflict harm on a child I think also often stems from arcane concepts of ownership. The idea that I produced the child I can do what I like with it. The lives of children have been undervalued throughout history. As Empty Hands pointed out, they have been used to do some of the most appalling tasks in the world. Ideas like children are the future or a person legacy are very recent concepts.


Familial bonds are being eroded by some very strange things. Over-protectiveness and a desire to fulfill a child's every wish are creating a massive disconnect between parents and children. It seems children get what ever they want and there is a great fear in parents of their children. How can that be? A parent should be the go to guy when a child is apprehensive or fearful, they should not afraid of their children. I said earlier that I think children are being raised in the most enlightened and caring environment in history, but it is beginning to tip too far and is creating a different kind of alienation.

 

[grydth]

I saw a recent case - not in Saudi, but right here in the USA - where a "father" killed his baby daughter because he, "didn't feel like being a father anymore".

In years past, we worried over unwanted pets being disposed of.... now we have this. The case is not unique.

One begins to wonder how low this society can and will sink.

 

[ChadWarner]

I have to disagree. Child welfare has not really gotten better. It is what it is... more people get punished for doing really bad things to kids in the US but not world wide. People are now very sophisticated running child porn rings and it was just on the news last night that another major ring was busted that spanned the US. People walk in and out of this country at will and of course they can move children in and out and expolit them at will.

No there is a lot of gang activity that preys on young women... Under 18 I do believe.... and I do believe they use women or girls to bring money into gangs. Because the population has increased so much and the fed really does not know who is here unless you are born here and have paid taxes for years criminals are getting away with a lot more. I think basically this is because of the sophistication of the rings. Pedophiles move their operations over seas and exploit children there... Underdeveloped nations are terribley corrupt and very bad things happen to children there and it is financed by western pervs.

So no, no way are things better over all. Hell, people who exploit children are not even put to death here on a regular basis.

Anyone say Russia? Women or prolly young girls and boys are kidnapped there and put into the sex slave industry. They have an epidemic aids rate now... Look at the cia website and it will tell you what places are widely known in human trafficing.

 

[Carol]

Or you have conditions like the Punjab, where about 600 girls are born to every 1000 boys. Abortion is illegal in India, but the law clearly hasn't stopped the parents that who feel that it is too inconvenient to have a daughter. Someone I know from the area once said "If you have two daughters, people look at you like you're weird."