What do you tell your kids about classroom bullies?

[bydand]

Thanks to all of you for your stories and suggestions.

Yesterday when I picked up my boy I mentioned the incident to his teacher and she was surprised. Apparently the boy in question was actually the nicest, most mature, and oldest kid in class. I also asked our TKD instructor what she might have seen during the lunch (she is a teacher at the school and is the lunch duty teacher as well). I told her what was told to me by my wife, mother in-law, and son. I then asked her to please talk to my son as a TKD instructor about bullies. I also noticed my son's kindergarten teacher speak with our TKD teacher just before the TKD lesson (she runs the TKD club for our small town in the school gym after school - this club is associated with a larger club in the next town over so there are more instructors but that is another story about the various training offered to us).

As requested, our TKD instructor pulled my son aside and spoke with him and in the course of the talk found out what really happened. Apparently the whole idea of a bully got blown out of proportion by (can you guess who?) my mother in-law. What actually happened was my son's brownie was tossed into the trash not by a bully but by the kid helping clear the table before going to recess.

None of the kids can goto recess until everyone is done eating and all the trash has been tossed. The kid must have thought the zipped lock bag was of food that was not going to be eaten. My mother in-law asked my son if he ate all his lunch... yada yada yada... and my mother in-law (half empty glass lady) assumed my boy was being bullied. She called my wife with some story and my wife called me. I asked my son what happened and after hearing how my wife and mother in-law were discussing the issue, my son must have thought that what happened was a mean thing instead of a misunderstanding between kids.

So, thanks again for your views and opinions on parenting. Oh yeah, I did reinforce to my boy that he is not to touch another kid unless he is being hurt physically and if no one (adult/teacher) is there to help him.

My son and the boy in question are actually good friends in school.

Cheers!

~G

Hurray for our side! Have to love it when it turns out like this. Plus it reinforces to everyone involved (especially your son) that you will dig until you find out what is going on in his school life. That is a GREAT thing.

It is an added bonus as well. I was always the lucky kid that my parents did the same thing, it made for an easy and valid excuse to get out of doing something when I was older that I knew was wrong and didn't really want to do anyway ("You know my Mom and Dad would kill me if I did ...... and they found out." Was my mantra through most of Junior High and some of High School. I kept my friends, but kept out of jail as well.) I am doing my best to keep that for my boys as well.

Good Luck!

 

[Gordon Nore]

Thanks to all of you for your stories and suggestions...

...Apparently the boy in question was actually the nicest, most mature, and oldest kid in class.

...My son and the boy in question are actually good friends in school.

Glad to hear it all worked out.