Top ten things you'll never hear a MAN say

[shesulsa]

Okay, y'all - here's ten to start with - take it away!



10. Where the heck are we? Let's stop and ask for directions.

9. Why don't you call a repairman for that - I shouldn't try to fix it.

8. Hey, I'll do the dishes!

7. Here, honey, let me get you a beer....

6. Take your time getting ready, honey, I know you want to look your best.

5. Would you give me a manicure?

4. I have a great idea - why don't you subscribe to Playgirl?

3. Lets invite my best friend over and have a threesome

2. Aw, you know how much I love to work on your car!

1. I think we need a bigger house!

 

[bignick]

the retribution has arrived...it took longer than i expected though

 

[Sarah]

1. Here honey, you use the remote.

2. You know, I'd like to see her again, but her breasts are just too big.


3. Ooh, Antonio Banderas AND Brad Pitt? That's one movie I gotta see!


4. Why don't you go to the mall with me and help me pick out a pair of shoes?

5. We never talk anymore

 

[Feisty Mouse]

No, I really want to know what YOU think!

Do you think my butt looks OK in this?

I'd just like to have a romantic evening with you, *without* the TV/friends/ball game/(fill in blank)

Our relationship is really important to me.

I promise to stop nagging you every time you want to buy something for yourself/our home/the kids/ the dog.

(and as an example of the above...)
OK, maybe there is more hole than sock in these socks - thanks for buying me new socks.

Thanks for always thinking of me. I think of you all the time, too!

(And a big kiss to she-sulsa for posting this thread!)

 

[TigerWoman]

Thanks for dinner, that was really good.

Oh, I can follow a recipe, after all I learned how to read tech manuals

Guess what honey, breakfast in bed: eggs, bacon, toast, and coffee!

I realize that clothes go out of date and you need a few things each year

You can't have too many shoes!

You can't have too many coats!

I would love to stay all day and watch your TKD tournament

What do you want to do this weekend--shopping's fun?

I think I should shower before coming to bed

Oh, honey, you're right, I should plan the route before I get in the car not look at the map and go all over the lane.

Oh, oops I shouldn't make the stop in the middle of the intersection as I know it makes you nervous.

Go right ahead and make that trip, we can do fine.

I'll be happy to water the plants while you're gone

Oh, your' mom's birthday, than we'll take the RV and make it a family event.

I'll be happy to be considerate and put toilet paper on the roll

I know its more of a necessity for you so I will be happy to put the toilet seat down

I would just love to do little things for you.

Its time that I really try to understand the innermost you.

I want to listen to your problems.

That bill was perfectly reasonable.

You're right instead of yelling at you, I should be talking to the person I am yelling about.

TW

 

[Feisty Mouse]

(TW - I have a sneaking suspicion that both of us have some real-life things in there...)

 

[Tgace]

How about...

"Not tonight, Im not in the mood."

 

[Feisty Mouse]

Heard it.

 

[jfarnsworth]

"Not tonight, Im not in the mood."

Perfect,
I know I've never said that :asian:

 

[shesulsa]

Perfect,
I know I've never said that :asian:

Neither have I. :shrug:

 

[Gary Crawford]

"what clothes do you think I should wear?" , "Duct tape just won't do" "no beer for me,I know how you hate beer guts", "I hate my hair!!","Lunch at Hooters?,no let's go somewhere that doesn't exploit women",Do these shoes make my butt look big?'

 

[Cryozombie]

"Yes, you look fat in that"

"Of course I would rather see the Opera than Nascar"

"Honey, you need more shoes and Makeup"

"You rented a porno? Thats not appropriate"

"Let me take care of the kids for a while"

"Could you fix the kitchen sink? Your far more handy with a wrench than I am"

"No, I dont care if you go out for drinks with that good looking younger guy from work"

 

[deadhand31]

"Yes, you look fat in that"

I think there really is no safe answer to "Does this make me look fat?" If you say yes, you're ****ed. If you say no, then "you're just being nice". I will never, ever, ever, ever, ever, answer that question.

 

[Rich Parsons]

Okay, y'all - here's ten to start with - take it away!



10. Where the heck are we? Let's stop and ask for directions.

I stop all the time, I absolutely hate waiting. See below.

9. Why don't you call a repairman for that - I shouldn't try to fix it.

Done this, I did not wish to deal with the Pipe comig into the house for water, that was leaking before the first shut off. Took him 45 minutes and $70. I thought it was money well spent.

8. Hey, I'll do the dishes!

If she cooked, no a problem. Unless of course, you used every dish in the house to make a peanut butter and yellow sandwaich in case, maybe she should clean up to learn a more efficient way of accomplishing the task at hand.

7. Here, honey, let me get you a beer....

No problem if i am already up

6. Take your time getting ready, honey, I know you want to look your best.

This is a problem, I have seen you at your worst and you best, and I do stop for directions, why do I have to wait for you to change yet, again ?

5. Would you give me a manicure?

Done this, and I like ot have clear finger nail polish on if I am doing lots of work engines or vehicles, as it helps to prevent rips.

4. I have a great idea - why don't you subscribe to Playgirl?

Not a problem, assuming I already have Playboy or the orders go in at the same time

3. Lets invite my best friend over and have a threesome

This could be tough, what if my best friend is female?

2. Aw, you know how much I love to work on your car!

See call the repair man. If it is easy and accessible then no problem, if it requried special tools and days of labor, then for the sake of convience and getting it done so I can get my car back, take it into the shop.

1. I think we need a bigger house!

Yes a bigger house, with a place to have tools in the garage while working on her car, and also tools for the basement, for working while in the house. This requires two sets, and before you get all wierd, I will nto say anything about the two stoves or dish sets or ..., . Oh and some room I can decorate the way I want too.

 

[mj-hi-yah]

Yes a bigger house, Oh and some room I can decorate the way I want too.

Yeah uh...That would be the tiny closet at the end of that dark hallway! You should be able to fit all of your stuff in there! Oh and have a blast decorating! How about hmmmm using some mauve? Just a thought, after all it's your space...:boing2:

 

[bignick]

Yeah uh...That would be the tiny closet at the end of that dark hallway! You should be able to fit all of your stuff in there! Oh and have a blast decorating! How about hmmmm using some mauve? Just a thought, after all it's your space...:boing2:

funny...but i thought that's how all us guys stored our stuff and cleaned anyway...cramming into any available space possible...

out of sight, out of mind

 

[Taimishu]

After those sayings, Honey im insane.


David

 

[mj-hi-yah]

funny...but i thought that's how all us guys stored our stuff and cleaned anyway...cramming into any available space possible...

out of sight, out of mind

Yes *giggle* just adding a little dose of reality...:boing1:

 

[Rich Parsons]

Yeah uh...That would be the tiny closet at the end of that dark hallway! You should be able to fit all of your stuff in there! Oh and have a blast decorating! How about hmmmm using some mauve? Just a thought, after all it's your space...:boing2:

MJ has not seen the Dining room in my house . She is making fun of Mauve, could I add in some Paisley as well?

 

[AaronLucia]

Just because we are dumb (guys), doesn't mean u can make fun of us!