The granddaughter

[Badhabits]

So a little context first- our five year old granddaughter lives with us. She's always absolutely loved to rough house and play fight ( she's only allowed to do this with me. She's big and strong for her age and we don't want her accidentally hurting anyone else ). We're looking at enrolling her in proper karate classes soon but so far nothing formal.
For those of you who deal with kids this age- are there any particulars you'd recommend instilling/not instilling through rough housing and play fighting at this age? In your experience are there specific things you like them to pick up at this age that stick with them and help later on? Anything you wish they wouldn't pick up?
She's picking things up pretty rapidly like a sponge at this point, and she's getting tricky lol. You'll think she's about to punch you, instead she'll grab both elbows and stomp your foot or use her foot to push the side of your knee that kind of thing. She's already getting some good rotation behind her punches. It seems to come pretty naturally for her.

 

[Monkey Turned Wolf]

At that age, the bigger thing is just getting them into the habit of training and making it an enjoyable experience, and working on gross motor skills.

Also discipline and respect for whoever they're playfighting, and understanding where/with whom it's appropriate.

 

[gyoja]

So a little context first- our five year old granddaughter lives with us. She's always absolutely loved to rough house and play fight ( she's only allowed to do this with me. She's big and strong for her age and we don't want her accidentally hurting anyone else ). We're looking at enrolling her in proper karate classes soon but so far nothing formal.
For those of you who deal with kids this age- are there any particulars you'd recommend instilling/not instilling through rough housing and play fighting at this age? In your experience are there specific things you like them to pick up at this age that stick with them and help later on? Anything you wish they wouldn't pick up?
She's picking things up pretty rapidly like a sponge at this point, and she's getting tricky lol. You'll think she's about to punch you, instead she'll grab both elbows and stomp your foot or use her foot to push the side of your knee that kind of thing. She's already getting some good rotation behind her punches. It seems to come pretty naturally for her.

This is a great time to get her started in martial arts since she will absorb everything at face value. If she is a little shy, you could teach her from home to build her confidence. Interactions with others her age will help her to develop limits.

 

[Badhabits]

We'll definitely be getting her into formal classes here soon. I can see the value of making training a habit at this age. She's about the same age I was when my father started me in classes. Shes outgoing so that shouldn't be an issue. The guy I've been training under for the past few years is really good with the kids so she'll be going there. I don't formally work anything with her at home, it's all been just play sparring since she loves that. She seems to be learning a lot from just that. I throw some little suggestions in while we're playing, but I'll admit I'm starting to regret teaching her to hit the liver. At 80lbs her punches are starting to hurt. She probably picked it up from watching my kata, but she's now insisting on chambering her hand at the hip before she punches when we play. It's driving me crazy🤣 Trying to break her of that now.
Gyoja what are you referring to when you say develop limits?
I'm also wondering if it's better to leave formal instruction to her actual teacher and not intrude myself

 

[gyoja]

We'll definitely be getting her into formal classes here soon. I can see the value of making training a habit at this age. She's about the same age I was when my father started me in classes. Shes outgoing so that shouldn't be an issue. The guy I've been training under for the past few years is really good with the kids so she'll be going there. I don't formally work anything with her at home, it's all been just play sparring since she loves that. She seems to be learning a lot from just that. I throw some little suggestions in while we're playing, but I'll admit I'm starting to regret teaching her to hit the liver. At 80lbs her punches are starting to hurt. She probably picked it up from watching my kata, but she's now insisting on chambering her hand at the hip before she punches when we play. It's driving me crazy🤣 Trying to break her of that now.
Gyoja what are you referring to when you say develop limits?
I'm also wondering if it's better to leave formal instruction to her actual teacher and not intrude myself

Developing limits are important for young child development in MA. If she is in a formal class with others around her age, she will learn the limits of her strength and how to control her techniques.

 

[Badhabits]

Developing limits are important for young child development in MA. If she is in a formal class with others around her age, she will learn the limits of her strength and how to control her techniques.

Ahhh. Good point. Right now she just wails on me because she can. She doesn't even try to play like that with friends, we've made it off limits....yeah control. I see it. She's my granddaughter but not by blood, I have no children and don't teach so this is new to me. My father had me take a horse stance outside our house and pull punches before hitting the brick. While I appreciate it, I'm not going that route with her. Any guidance is appreciated!

 

[gyoja]

Ahhh. Good point. Right now she just wails on me because she can. She doesn't even try to play like that with friends, we've made it off limits....yeah control. I see it. She's my granddaughter but not by blood, I have no children and don't teach so this is new to me. My father had me take a horse stance outside our house and pull punches before hitting the brick. While I appreciate it, I'm not going that route with her. Any guidance is appreciated!

No worries. I trained all six of our kids. The only reason that I’m not training our grandchildren is because they are not local. My youngest still lives at home and she has really benefited from training in a formal class with other teens, even though I’m the instructor.

 

[HighKick]

We'll definitely be getting her into formal classes here soon. I can see the value of making training a habit at this age. She's about the same age I was when my father started me in classes. Shes outgoing so that shouldn't be an issue. The guy I've been training under for the past few years is really good with the kids so she'll be going there. I don't formally work anything with her at home, it's all been just play sparring since she loves that. She seems to be learning a lot from just that. I throw some little suggestions in while we're playing, but I'll admit I'm starting to regret teaching her to hit the liver. At 80lbs her punches are starting to hurt. She probably picked it up from watching my kata, but she's now insisting on chambering her hand at the hip before she punches when we play. It's driving me crazy🤣 Trying to break her of that now.
Gyoja what are you referring to when you say develop limits?
I'm also wondering if it's better to leave formal instruction to her actual teacher and not intrude myself

I strongly you take the time to go on your own first and audit the schools in your area. Determine which one(s) adhere to the standards you are looking for and are kid friendly (not all of them are). Then, take your child to a few trial classes and see how it goes.
Absolutely do Not put too much expectation on a child that age. They truly learn by Osmosis and will be learning/remembering things even when you think they are not.
As others have said, the environment needs to be fun but respectful and very rules bound for that age. As an instructor, it can be a fine line to walk quite often.
Best of luck.

 

[Badhabits]

Thanks for the reply Highkick. We only have a couple of schools here, luckily there's a fellow only a few minutes from here that's really good with the kids. I've trained under him for awhile and watched the kids classes. Lots of learning games involved and such. Kind of funny sidenote, I have issues being in front of a crowd. Don't like being the center of attention, clam up bad. He invited me to grade once, I got there and I was the only adult. He had me grade in front of all those kids family members with the kids. It was rough for me and I made mistakes, but he knew what he was doing. He'll do good by her. Hopefully she won't pick up bad habits from watching me 😭

 

[gyoja]

Thanks for the reply Highkick. We only have a couple of schools here, luckily there's a fellow only a few minutes from here that's really good with the kids. I've trained under him for awhile and watched the kids classes. Lots of learning games involved and such. Kind of funny sidenote, I have issues being in front of a crowd. Don't like being the center of attention, clam up bad. He invited me to grade once, I got there and I was the only adult. He had me grade in front of all those kids family members with the kids. It was rough for me and I made mistakes, but he knew what he was doing. He'll do good by her. Hopefully she won't pick up bad habits from watching me 😭

Congratulations on having a school close by that you trust. Let us know how it goes.

 

[Gyakuto]

I wish I had that ‘tabula rasa’ mind of a child, able to absorb things with ease but with the tenacity, the ability to repetitively do boring things, the sheer staying power of my adult self.

That combination is, unfortunately, usually missing in children and adults, alike.

Best of luck and don’t be surprised if she wants to have a go at something else…it’s perfectly normal.

 

[Holmejr]

As a parent of 3 and a grandparent of 7, just make it fun. Sounds like that local school would be a good place to start.

 

[HighKick]

Thanks for the reply Highkick. We only have a couple of schools here, luckily there's a fellow only a few minutes from here that's really good with the kids. I've trained under him for awhile and watched the kids classes. Lots of learning games involved and such. Kind of funny sidenote, I have issues being in front of a crowd. Don't like being the center of attention, clam up bad. He invited me to grade once, I got there and I was the only adult. He had me grade in front of all those kids family members with the kids. It was rough for me and I made mistakes, but he knew what he was doing. He'll do good by her. Hopefully she won't pick up bad habits from watching me 😭

Good on ya. Keep at it and things will get easier.

 

[Badhabits]

I wish I had that ‘tabula rasa’ mind of a child, able to absorb things with ease but with the tenacity, the ability to repetitively do boring things, the sheer staying power of my adult self.

That combination is, unfortunately, usually missing in children and adults, alike.

Best of luck and don’t be surprised if she wants to have a go at something else…it’s perfectly normal.

Staying power is something I want to stress with her. My parents had a rule that any activity we tried out, we had to stick with a few months before being allowed to quit. No quitting after just a few weeks. Thinking we'll go that route with her unless she just obviously absolutely hates it. She's been in dance classes for a good 2 years now, has no problems being on stage in front of crowds and such so there's that going for her. I've been surprised by how few adults realize that determination, focus, seeing things through etc are learned skills, most aren't just born with them. Hoping if we can start building those habits now they'll stick with her.

 

[Badhabits]

Good on ya. Keep at it and things will get easier.

We've probably got our work cut out for us, she was basically abandoned by both her parents and she's at that age where she's really feeling it. It's hard to know where to keep pushing her and where to cut her some slack since she's already got that emotional baggage. She's a happy child, but it shows when she gets frustrated or upset with something. Hopefully karate will give her a route for learning to manage those emotions

 

[Gyakuto]

Staying power is something I want to stress with her. My parents had a rule that any activity we tried out, we had to stick with a few months before being allowed to quit. No quitting after just a few weeks.

I’m sure that’s a general rule with parents especially if they’ve bought some kit for the new endeavour.

Thinking we'll go that route with her unless she just obviously absolutely hates it.

Yes of course. You wouldn’t want to traumatise her. She might burst into tears on hearing the ‘Kung Fu’ theme tune!

She's been in dance classes for a good 2 years now, has no problems being on stage in front of crowds and such so there's that going for her.

That’s really great. Girls are motivated in dancing though because of it’s ubiquity; dancing shows, pop videos etc. Dancing is cool, especially all that hippity-hoppity stuff!

I've been surprised by how few adults realize that determination, focus, seeing things through etc are learned skills, most aren't just born with them.

None are born with them. Tenacity is the only trait one can be born with and it can be applied successfully to anything

Hoping if we can start building those habits now they'll stick with her.

Research shows it take many repetitions for things to become a habit:

There is a myth that a habit takes 21 days to develop, however research shows that it takes on average 60 days (and even up to 254 days ) to develop. Missing the occasional day’s practise seems to not be a problem but missing consecutive days or even a week derails the whole process. Dr Philipa Lally, University College London.

Some of us are just good at doing boring things, repeatedly if we know it will pay dividends. Generally we become successful, not always but usually. As a child, Serena Williams tried to hit a cigarette standing up on it’s end on the opposite side of the court with her ball repeatedly. Six year old David Beckham practised his banana shot at repeatedly at 6am before school. Five year old Tiger Woods repeatedly practised bunker shot for hours on end. That tenacity leads to success!

I don‘t have kids if you’re wondering 😐

 

[gyoja]

I have six kids. Having them see things through is extremely important in their development. You will be surprised how far a little encouragement and positive reinforcement goes.

 

[Gyakuto]

I have six kids. Having them see things through is extremely important in their development. You will be surprised how far a little encouragement and positive reinforcement goes.

The Asian way of doing that is with an actual or at least the threat of a beating if you don’t do well. That’s why there are so many Asian doctors! 😉

 

[Buka]

I don’t have children, but I’ve trained plenty of them. Trained a lot of those kid’s children, too.

About ten years ago I was assisting my wife in a course she was teaching. There was a ten year old girl taking the class that kept looking at me like she was trying to figure something out. She asked me my name and I told her.

Two days later she says to me, “you used to teach my grandmother.”

I hate that kid. (kidding)

 

[Badhabits]

Do y'all see many multi generation family members train seriously and stick with it?