Overcoming fear

[LuckyKBoxer]

I did not really read any of the responses in this thread, but noticed books mentioned and sparring mentioned..

Those are great.. the key to overcoming fear is to understand fear, and to become familiar with the situations that cause fear.

Lots of great books out there, and fear is not something that should be overlooked or discarded..

Two I highly recommend..
the Gift of Fear by Gavin de Becker
Meditations on Violence by Rory Miller

Also participating in live, or close to realistic, sparring scenarios in martial arts classes is a great way to familiarize yourself with situations you can encounter... I also recommend going to a gun class and shooting a gun, regardless ofo your views of pro or anti gun... you dont necessarily have to own one, but knowing how to handle one and how one works is a great self defense skill to have.

 

[pete]

Fear is an emotion, excess baggage from years of accumulating other emotional baggage. It is not a 'gift' nor is it 'useful'. Treating it as such is like a child being potty trained who does not want to let go of his poo, believing it is part of him.

What to do: learn to live in the moment, release physical tensions, mental stress, and emotional remnants. let go of past-future-and-fantasy.

Be Here Now.

 

[LuckyKBoxer]

Fear is an emotion, excess baggage from years of accumulating other emotional baggage. It is not a 'gift' nor is it 'useful'. Treating it as such is like a child being potty trained who does not want to let go of his poo, believing it is part of him.

What to do: learn to live in the moment, release physical tensions, mental stress, and emotional remnants. let go of past-future-and-fantasy.

Be Here Now.

Well I would say that you are not releasing fear, or losing fear at that point, I would say you are just using the response that is associated with fear in a different way... Semantics...

 

[The Destroyer Style]

Well, in a way fear can be good. In a COMMEN SENCE way. You should worry about geting cut by a knife, but you shouldn't let it make you freeze in fear. That fear should make you wanna stop that guy from cutting you. As long as you don't tunnel vision on the knife, because that will get you killed to.


Cody

 

[still learning]

Hello, Good points on living in the here and now!

"Handbook to Higher Consciousness" by Ken Keyes,Jr. Worth reading and live a happy life and learn to live without the fears...

Have to read it first!

Aloha,

 

[Allen a.k.a. Destroyer]

The easiest way to over come fear of being hit, is to climb into a boxing ring. I know its not the most lethal thing in the world, but trust me. If you can get hit by a two hundred pound boxer square in the face. You have just about felt as hard a punch as your going to by a common street thug.
This will also teach you to fight in close combat situations and help you set up your kicks.

Cody

Something amusing GM Pellegrini (combat hapkido founder) said in a recent seminar:

"I don't want anyone to ever say that I can take a hit."

As in, wow, that guy can really take a hit!

This is where the fear comes from, right? Fear of pain, of being hit. While I suppose I can appreciate the valuable experience gained from getting slugged in the face by a bigger guy (especially the knowledge of "Yeah! I can take a hit!")... and while I'm sure it's great for facing the fear... I'm not going to give him the opportunity. Awareness, avoidance, and de-escalation are your first three defenses.

The point is to not get hit, or at least control where you get hit if things go poorly in those first stages. Good sparring practice, be it the boxing gym, your MA school, or the backyard; will definitely deal with initial fears and help develop your guard and blocks.

After getting over the fear, the next step is... Don't let the pain stop you. With the fear of pain past, use pain to fuel your fire when you do get hit. But be careful in sparring, don't let your anger take control. Stay in control of your anger. "A disciplined fighter is one of the most dangerous opponents you can face." is one of my Master's favorite sayings. Since a disciplined fighter controls his anger it will not control him. Stay in control.

 

[BLACK LION]

In my childhood years I have been the would be victim, (I can run faster than my attackers and so have managed to avoid big beatings). Many incidents have left me with an overwhelming feeling of fear in a physically confrontational situation. Whilst my actions may not change in these circumstances, (i.e. running away), I would like to feel more confident or just less scared in a situation. Any tips or training I can do to make a training situation seem more real?

Fear is a natural survival mechanism. One should not buy into "overcoming" or "eliminating" fear as I do not believe in such a thing.

First understand what it is and what it isnt.
It IS an early warning system that will provide the chemical concoction to perform things that you may not be able to perform in a normal situation. It also pulls blood from places that do need it at that time(hence the feeling in your gut or flutter in your chest) and supplies it to large muscle groups so you can do one of 2 things... Fight or flight... This is why when you have an unused adrenaline concoction, your legs and arms shake as a result. Some get so overwhelmed by the fight or flight response that they actually freeze and dont do anything.
Dont expect to thread a needle once the "dump" occurs, so fine motor skills go out the window. Gross motor funtion is king in a time is life situation. You are there to plaow your body through the threat(s) or away from it entirely... or both. Just dont expect the fine fancy deuling that many mimick in thier training.
Also understand the only antidote to fear is anger and understand how to turn fear into angry agression.

Your training should be as close to a-social as possible... No, "im sorry" or "are you ok"...no comms period... just shut up and get in there and ram your hard parts into thier soft parts. Learn to use large muscle groups for striking instead of fists and feet...you should be smashing them with your entire structure, not just tipping and tapping.

Use the search function the site provides to look up this topic...it has been visited and revisited a few times.