Encouraging words. And very truthful."I can't just jump back in like I haven't spent decades behind a desk."
I don't think anyone is suggesting that this should be the case. What I'm seeing said repeatedly and it's a sentiment I agree with, just find a school you like and do "the thing" at the pace you can do it. Any good school should be able to adjust what they're doing to suit the needs for where you are at NOW... and readjust for where you at again later. We've had plenty of heavier students that had taken some time off and found their passion rekindled, like yourself, and found their way to the dojo. A year later they always look like completely different humans. Don't compare yourself to who you were... thats a losing argument for of us humans that age! lol. Work with who you are now and who you'd like to be later. Seriously you can do all that and it doesn't have to be a McDojo... just a school that cares for you and not some kind of inhumane meat grinder meant to remind you of who you aren't. Whichever route you take... I hope you find your path back!