Nice day

[GaryM]

Two men had been camping in the mountains for a few days and they were starting to get on each others nerves, so they decided that the following day they would each go hiking in a different direction and when they met that evening they would relate what they had experienced. The next evening when they returned to camp they started a fire and the first one asked "Well, how was your day?" "I hiked north of here," he replied, " and came to a small stream. So I followed it for a ways and came to a beautiful valley with a small pond in the middle of a beautiful meadow of wild flowers. I laid back and watched two eagles playing in a clear blue sky. I've never felt so peaceful and contented. So how was your day?" "Well, I hiked south of here and came upon some railroad tracks, so I followed them. I discovered a woman tied to the tracks and I untied her and made love to her in every way imagineable until I fell back exhausted" " Wow!, That certainly sounds like a better day than I had.So tell me, did she give good head?" "I never found her head."

 

[cali_tkdbruin]

Gettin' down with some necrophilia here huh... :barf:

 

[Jill666]

ROFLMAO!!!!

:lol: :lol: :lol:

Ok, that truly tickled my funny bone.

Kudos for a truly disturbing joke. Can't wait to retell this one.

 

[chufeng]

Disturbing??? You want disturbing???

Dare me, just dare me...I've got disturbing...but it must be solicited so I can say "they asked for it!"


chufeng

 

[GaryM]

Originally posted by chufeng
Disturbing??? You want disturbing???

Dare me, just dare me...I've got disturbing...but it must be solicited so I can say "they asked for it!"


chufeng

I dare ya.

 

[chufeng]

Ok, but you asked for it...

A guy wakes up on a Saturday morning...he plans to go duck hunting with his wife.
He shakes her shoulder and says, "Wake up hon', it's time to get ready; remember we're going hunting today."
She gets up on one elbow and looks through the window...it's windy, 40 degrees, and raining. She says, "I'm not going out in this weather.

So, the guy goes downstairs to fix coffee...

After awhile he comes back up to the bedroom and shakes his wife; "come on hon', let's go."

She says, "I AM NOT GOING OUT IN THIS WEATHER."

He says, "Fine. But you know the rule: Ifg you don't go hunting with me you've got to take it up the backside or give me a hummer."

"Oh for heaven's sake," she says, "get over here then."
(she proceeds with a hummer)
She then pulls back with a disgusted look on her face and says,"this thing tastes like *****."

Whereupon the guy says,
"Yeah, the dog didn't want to go hunting, either,"


There you have it...disturbiing, ne? But remember, you asked for it.


chufeng

 

[Kirk]

Chufeng, ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Cruentus]

:rofl:

 

[Jill666]

Makes you wonder what he'd have come up with if we'd begged for it!

Doesn't beat the necro joke, IMHO.

(That COULD be construed as a dare....)

 

[GaryM]

This one's not disturbing, most of my disturbing one's need visuals. Anyway.. Two guys are driving down a country road and they see a sign with an arrow pointing down a driveway that says "PEACHES, ANY FLAVOR YOU WANT". One says "Whats up with this, how can peaches be any flavor but peach? " "Dunno, lets check it out" So they drive up the way and come to a farmer sitting at a stand with bushels and bushels of peaches. They ask the farmer what the sign means and he proceeds to tell them how he has been crossbreeding and altering the genetics of his peaches for 40 years and now has peaches with every flavor imaginable. "Here, try this one" he says and hands the first guy a peach. He takes a bite and says with amazement "This tastes like apple pie!" "Turn it over" says the farmer. So he turns it over and takes a bite and says "Oh wow! Vanilla ice cream". The farmer hands the second guy a peach and he takes a bite and says "This tastes like mashed potatoes" "Turn it over says the farmer. "Oh..Turkey gravey!" So the first guy laughs and says "I bet you don't have one that tastes like pussy" The farmer holds up a finger and says "hold on" and walks over to one of the bushel baskets and comes back and gives the guy a peach. He takes a bite and gets a sour look and says " Hey, this tastes like s***" "Turn it over!"