Dr. Laura sez Men cheating is all Women's fault

[Sukerkin]

A valid concern, Shesulsa. I don't think it hurts to hold people to a high standard tho'. That way if they 'slip' a little it's still good - bad spelling and grammar do not give a positive impression at the end of the day if someone is trying to make a serious point.

 

[BrandiJo]

I just worry we'll scare all the high school juniors and seniors who come here and post somewhat intelligently ( or at least sincerely ) away.

No l33t, no txt, just a good attempt at proper English is fine.

How about the well meaning college drop out who still isn't sure where a comma goes(75% of the time but getting better at guesssing) and not sure of the spelling of alot of things either

 

[newGuy12]

You know, if those members who CAN write well would correct those of use who do not (myself included in the lackeys group), within a year or so, we would all be more skillful writers!

And then something good could come from that mean old radio announcer who started all of this ruckus!

I'm game. Get out the red pencil!

 

[DavidCC]

Maybe I wasn't clear, I meant that it is backwards not to blame the person responsible (in this case the man cheating) and blaming it on the other party (in this case the wife). Instead of assigning blame to the man for making the choice to cheat.

how about instead of trying to assign blame to anyone, each party can do some introspection and figure out where they might have gone wrong, and what they can do differently in the future. Just to be super extra clear, cheating is wrong.

I'm not sure where the respecting of traditional gender roles comes in. I do think it is sexist though to blame a woman for not "treating her man right" and saying that is the reason for his infidelity.

So, you are saying that when a man cheats, it's the woman's fault, and that this is the traditional gender role and is acceptable?

No I never said it was the woman's fault. BUT I think whenever a marraige falls apart both parties need to look at how they contributed to that. Dr. Laura tends to address women and their role, and that usually goes something like this:

'if your husband cheated on you it was because he was a dirtbag to begin with, or else he was driven to it by desperately trying to fill his own needs. If he was a dirtbag to begin with, you should have dated long enough to figure that out before you got married. If he was a good person but driven to make this bad decision, it was the your behavior that drove him away. If your behavior was justified (by his bad behavior) then you should have left him insead of staying in a bad marriage - and also you should have dated him long enough to know he was a jerk.'
Notice how this puts all the CONTROL into the woman's hands. not the blame for the situation, but the control of how the situation develops.

There are some conclusions you can come to by a 2 minute video fairly concretely like, "boy that was dumb" or "that must have hurt" to "damn that form sucked!"

Let's *** U ME that these two had marital trouble or sex problems. Explain to me how buying a hooker helped or fixed the problem? It would have been an act of selfishness, not remedy that he was seeking. The "video" we'd be looking at would be a pilot taking the plane on a spinning nose-dive and ejecting without asking or warning the copilot, but hey - why would a copilot treat his perfectly good pilot with such neglect? Hm? Doesn't make a lot of sense, does it?

Sorry, I was not in any way addressing the Gov of NY. I really haven't paid much attention to that mess, so I can't say at all what was going on in their relationship or his head that made him want to do it.

To ME (looks around) a "perfectly good man" values the sexual act as sacred between marital partners, the one who takes taxpayer money and spends it on a $5k call-girl instead of manning up and facing the same misery his wife faces every day? Isn't a perfectly good man. That became his decision. So he really can't be considered with that caveat, can he?

Can I get an "Amen?"

I don't know what misery either of them was facing. for all we know, the wife was there and this was a 3-way deal, hence the infalted price.

Any good woman who loves sex, who is a free spirit and loves intimacy with her partner and who has been cheated on would say one word to this statement:

********.

You have made my point exactly!!!!
Any man who cheats on a wife like that is simply a dirtbag. But I have to ask, why would such a well-adjusted woman marry such a loser????

So - if the marriage had failed, why weren't they separated or divorced first? And this was beyond cheating, this was patronizing a prostitution ring!! Sorry, no justifications other than self-centered, self-gratifying, corrupt, immoral behavior.

Listen, if she is willing to point the moral finger at the wife here, she needs to have a serious sit-down with her Rabbi - or maybe the Pope - or maybe the Dalai Lama because absconding with public funds to pay for illegal activity when you're the governor and cheating on your wife all at the same time??? That ain't moral behavior - but I'll tell you what is:



The PINNACLE of good moral behavior in this sad, sick story is the Governor's wife herself. THAT woman SACRAFICED HER GOOD NAME - her REPUTATION - her SELF-RESPECT - to stand by that man while he acknowledged his error, apologized to everyone and resigned his office. She had EVERY REASON and EVERY RIGHT to walk away, leave him be, but she STOOD BY HER VOWS AND STAYED WITH HIM THROUGH THAT PUBLIC STATEMENT.

If women had balls, hers would be bigger than mine.

The OP didn't seem to be addressing the specifc situation of the Gov of NY and neither was what I wrote.

......

What about him treating her bad? What if she withholds sex because her husband turned into an ******* and she can't get turned on by him anymore? How's THAT for taking responsibility?

Why would she withold sex? Why not withold EVERYTHING and get a divorce? Why would a woman want to trap a man she hates in her life, just to torture him like that?

BTW people don't 'turn into' *******s; you just didn't notice that they already were...