Bammx2
2nd Black Belt
> The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington
>
> chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that
> the
>
> professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is why we
> now
>
> have it to read.
>
>
>
> Bonus Question:
>
>
>
> "Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?"
>
> > >
>
> Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
>
> (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some
> variant.
>
>
>
> One student, however, wrote the following:
>
> > >
>
> "First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So
> we
>
> need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate
> at
>
> which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a
> soul
>
> gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
>
>
>
> As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
>
> religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state
>
> that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
>
> Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do
> not
> belong
>
> to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
>
> > >
>
> With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of
> souls
>
> in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change
> of
>
> the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the
>
> temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell
> has
>
> to expand proportionately as souls are added.
>
> > >
>
> This gives two possibilities:
>
> > >
>
> 1) If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
>
> > enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
> until
>
> > all Hell breaks loose.
>
> > >
>
> 2) If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
>
> > Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes
> over.
>
> > >
>
> So which is it?
>
> > >
>
> If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman
> year
>
> that, "...it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and
> take
>
> into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having an
> affair
>
> with her, then #2 above cannot be true, thus I am sure that Hell is
>
> exothermic and will not freeze over."
>
> > >
>
> This student received the only "A."
>
>
>
>
>
> chemistry mid-term. The answer by one student was so "profound" that
> the
>
> professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is why we
> now
>
> have it to read.
>
>
>
> Bonus Question:
>
>
>
> "Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?"
>
> > >
>
> Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law
>
> (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some
> variant.
>
>
>
> One student, however, wrote the following:
>
> > >
>
> "First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So
> we
>
> need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate
> at
>
> which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a
> soul
>
> gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.
>
>
>
> As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different
>
> religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state
>
> that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell.
>
> Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do
> not
> belong
>
> to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.
>
> > >
>
> With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of
> souls
>
> in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change
> of
>
> the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the
>
> temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell
> has
>
> to expand proportionately as souls are added.
>
> > >
>
> This gives two possibilities:
>
> > >
>
> 1) If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls
>
> > enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase
> until
>
> > all Hell breaks loose.
>
> > >
>
> 2) If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in
>
> > Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes
> over.
>
> > >
>
> So which is it?
>
> > >
>
> If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman
> year
>
> that, "...it will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and
> take
>
> into account the fact that I still have not succeeded in having an
> affair
>
> with her, then #2 above cannot be true, thus I am sure that Hell is
>
> exothermic and will not freeze over."
>
> > >
>
> This student received the only "A."
>
>
>
>