Cheap Shot

[MJS]

So, if someone feels like Youve offended them in some ridiculous way in front of their friends, and suddenly they need to put You in Your place for daring to do so for their precious Reputation; And this can range from daring to look slightly anxious around them, daring to linger near them, etc etc etc; You walk away? And You seriously think Theyll just go, "Oh. Hes walking away. Oh well, back to hanging around doing whatever we do."

Im sorry, but I disagree.
Itd be nice if that did work, but Ive yet to see it. Ive seen it the way Im suggesting, however. Especially at School, but also once by a Publicans Years later.

LOL...I've had more than 1 person ask me what I'm looking at or if I have a problem, because I've been acused of 'looking' at them. A story that happened a while back.....I was walking the dog. Car drove slowly past me, with the passenger looking at me. Figuring that I knew the guy from somewhere, I looked back. Car drove past, I kept walking....until I heard, "You got a ****ing problem?" coming from behind me. I stopped, turned around, and said no, and continued to stand there, looking at him. We played his game for a few more seconds, until he got back into the car and continued on. He either was intimidated by the dog or pissed that he didn't get the reaction out of me he was hoping for, ie: me feeding into him, saying I was sorry, etc. He got neither! LOL!

Now, this isn't to say that it always works, and to be honest with you, I was fully expecting this jackass to continue on with his chest puffing, in front of his buddy. I think that more times than not, the guy, were they alone, probably wouldn't have as much steam in their sails to actually follow thru. Again, this isn't to say they won't, but, IMO, there's more of a chance if they're with others, due to having to show off.

 

[MJS]

Attempting to Walk Away is well and good, but it doesnt exactly put You in a good position. Of course, if can be avoided, avoid it. Circumvent it. But assuming You can always do that is perhaps assuming too much. But in any case, were not too far off the same conclusions. Im perhaps just more inclined towards being prepared to fight, rather than being prepared to avoid it whatever it takes.

And this is why I cringe when people use the run away card every single time. Sure, yes, thats a very valid option, but if that doesn't work, you better have a few back up plans in place.

 

[jks9199]

Unless you attempt to walk away and remove yourself how do you know? How willing are you to avoid the fight? If it is an "ego thing", what can you do to allow him to save face? Most people aren't really willing to do that. I know my instructor had a young 16 year old kid try to pick a fight with him while he was out raking leaves. He tried to talk the kid down, but knew it wasn't working, so he faked a heart attack and the kid took off running. Would you be able to do that? Are you willing to do that? I'm not judging or pointing a finger either, because honestly, I don't know if I could have that much control to do that all the time.

Exactly. There are lots of ways to defuse the situation -- once you take your ego out of it. And if they attack you anyway -- then the rules are off. YOU weren't participating in the dance, so end it fast and effectively. Note, this can be as simple as slipping the attack and walking away, or as extreme as shattering bones and crushing trachea...

But the status fight doesn't happen if both sides aren't into the game.

If I recall correctly, there are several examples mentioned in the thread about Penn & Teller, as well.

 

[Thesemindz]

It depends on what you're talking about. Social violence? Two drunks jawing in a bar? I think most people would let that run it's course until one tried to stomp the other and then someone would cry foul and try to step in and put a stop to it. Pure asocial psychopathic violence? You're attacked by a crackhead who is going to kill you and rape your wife and not lose a minute of sleep and no amount of talking or hugging or begging will dissuade him or even make him pause? You do what it takes to survive. The key is being able to determine one situation from the other. I've been in a few social violence situations. Encounters with adult bullies, bouncing at the bar, dealing with the occasional drunk street person. I've never been in a purely asocial violent encounter, but I have firmly decided that I won't be concerned about "cheap shots" in that situation. Live to fight another day.


-Rob