Anniversary Gift

[Drac]

As their 30 year anniversary approached the Wife said to her Husband "There better be something in the driveway that goes from zero to 250 in 3.5 seconds, or your gonna be in trouble"...The day arrived and in the drive was a VERY LARGE box..When she opened it she found a BATHROOM SCALE inside...

 

[exile]

... and he got in trouble anyway, poor sod!

 

[Big Don]

As their 30 year anniversary approached the Wife said to her Husband "There better be something in the driveway that goes from zero to 250 in 3.5 seconds, or your gonna be in trouble"...The day arrived and in the drive was a VERY LARGE box..When she opened it she found a BATHROOM SCALE inside...

"And that, Ladies and gentlemen, sums up the prosecution's case..."

 

[Kreth]

"And that, Ladies and gentlemen, sums up the prosecution's case..."

A guy walks into a doctor's office, all beat to hell, and with a 5 iron wrapped around his neck. The doctor asks what happened.
"Well, it was a nice day, so I decided to take the wife golfing. We got to the 5th hole, which runs alongside a cow pasture, and sure enough we shank our drives over the fence. We hopped the fence to look for our balls, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw a flash of white. I look over, and there's a cow with a golf ball stuck smack dab in the middle of her vagina. I lifted the cow's tail, and luckily the monogram on the ball was facing out. So, I turned to the wife and said, 'Hey honey, this looks like yours.' That's the last thing I remember."

 

[Drac]

A guy walks into a doctor's office, all beat to hell, and with a 5 iron wrapped around his neck. The doctor asks what happened.
"Well, it was a nice day, so I decided to take the wife golfing. We got to the 5th hole, which runs alongside a cow pasture, and sure enough we shank our drives over the fence. We hopped the fence to look for our balls, and out of the corner of my eye, I saw a flash of white. I look over, and there's a cow with a golf ball stuck smack dab in the middle of her vagina. I lifted the cow's tail, and luckily the monogram on the ball was facing out. So, I turned to the wife and said, 'Hey honey, this looks like yours.' That's the last thing I remember."

OMG..LMFAO