You Might be a Martial Artist if...... (keep it clean please)

ajury

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We had fun with this on my schools facebook page so wanted to post it here. Please keep it clean and have fun. I removed names as I do not have permission from everyone to repost. Most of the funniest ones are from other folks.



Sunday is spent cleaning and sorting uniforms

You look up your name in Korean to see if it is spelled correctly on your belt.

The school schedule is posted on your door in color.

You know how to get any stain out of white.

You select your washer based on how well it gets stains out of white.

‎...you bow whenever you enter or leave a room.

‎...you find yourself shaking hands with people with your left hand under your right elbow.

‎...you watch martial arts movies with your kid and you find that neither of you is looking at the bad guy the hero is kicking, you're both looking at the hero's plant foot to see if it is facing in the "right" direction.

you make it out of class with just a couple bruises and super sweatty

You know at least 4 different laundry products that get your whites really white...

You and your lady friends are in the locker room and one sees a bruise on your forearm. Her first question is "Is that from today?" vice "OMG what happened?"




‎...There is a rule at your house that you cannot practice forms while at the dinner table.
... If you say grace with your right fist in front of your face and your left hand covering it.
...If all the family board games end in a hand shake w...ith your left hand supporting the right elbow.
...If you bow at the door, and immediately take your shoes off before entering.
...If you have to tell the kids that, "NO, the family dog, is not a suitable sparring partner.
...If you have to tell your youngest child he may not break boards until after he is potty trained.




‎...If you have some body named "Sir" or "Master" on speed dial.
...If you catch your spouse shutting the fridge door with a roundhouse kick and then correct him by telling him to pull his toes back.
...If you are anxious to hit the hot tub b...ecause, "Class was brutal today."
...If your family room has wood flooring, a board holder, and nothing else.
... If your chief decoration in the house consists of tkd trophies, medals, and pictures from prior rank tests.
...If your children set up "friendship tournaments" to mediate neighborhood disputes.
...If you get called to the prinicipal's office because your Jr. black belt son is teaching choong ji to all his class mates at recess.

Name in Korean - funny you should say that. When the admin folks here gave me my nametag in Korean, I handed it back and said it was not spelled right. They were pretty surprised...
<He recently moved to Korea in his military job, Thanks for your service!>


Angela C Jury You have the economy size of tiger balm and it is running out.

The folks at the lumber store have figured out that you're not *really* making bird houses with all of that 9" pine...

You know the difference between tiger balm and ben gay simply by the smell.

Your friends always wonder why your car smells "like furniture"... It's just your next two years' worth of pine sitting in the back.



&#8206;...people come over to your house and ask what the difference is between the boards in the grey racks and the boards in the red racks and you tell them the boards in the red racks are just for "practice".

...you know the symbolism behind the flag of South Korea.

...you have a relatively large vocabulary in Korean, but you can't say one complete sentence.

...you have broken wooden boards on display somewhere in the house.

...you have to purchase a new saw blade for your 7.25" power saw and you've never built a deck, a house, or done any roofing.

...you watch action movies with your kid and both of you aren't paying attention to the story, you're both looking to see if their technique is "correct".
 

Blade96

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......you find yourself bowling in zenkutsu dachi.

True story btw....i found myself using that stance when i went bowling with friends a few weeks ago. In case your wondering, it worked. :D
 

WC_lun

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...you just went through two minutes of beating the crap out of and getting beat by a friend (or competitor) to stop, bow to each other, share a hug, a smile, and think how that was a great time.

... you pay a person good money to perform what some people view as abuse upon you.

... you view it as a great compliment when the head man chooses you to strike, throw, or twist into a pretzel...and so do your friends.

...bruises are badges of pride.
 

Kacey

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... people ask you about the bruises on your forearms (or anywhere else visible) and you just smile and say "Yeah, but you should my opponent!"

... you get injured and just keep going

... you shake hands with your left hand under your right forearm

... you catch yourself bowing when you shake hands
 

David43515

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.....You have more than three gallons of dit da jow brewing at any one time.

.....upon being released from an incredibly painful jointlock your first response is "can you do that once more please?"

......you`ve ever attended a business/commitee meeeting and forgotten to take the take athletic tape off your fingers.

......someone asks to borrow your sword for a sunday school lesson and you can offer them a selection of tpyes and sizes.

......a local nurse comments that you`re good for business, and you haven`t been sick in years.

.......your kids yell at the hero on TV to "close his center and jam the knee!"

.......the aches in your back and elbows are more reliable than the local weatherman.

.......some of the dearest friends you`ve ever met beat you on a regular basis, and that`s part of their charm.
 

David43515

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My Assistant Principal just reminded me of one.

......if you`ve ever broken up a fight between students and found yourself correcting their technique instead of sending them to the office.
 

Ken Morgan

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You can't watch movies like Star Wars anymore because during the light saber duels, your brain keeps yelling, target, target, target, why are you taking your tip off of the target? and kill him now, now, now, now.....
 

searcher

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.........You buy jeans based on whether or not you can kick to the head with them on.

.........You bow when entering and leaving ALL rooms and buildings.

.........You base your vacations around tournaments and seminars.
 
OP
A

ajury

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You folks are so cool!

Thank you very much!

I think I have found a great place to hang out.

Ill certainly keep reading.
 

Aikicomp

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.....You shake someone's hand and are tempted to put them into a finger lock, thumb lock, or a few more throws and locks.

....You meet someone and instantly survey the weak points of their anatomy, stance, balance just in case they decide to attack you.

....when you go into some building and find all the exits and "read" the area for possible threats.

Michael
 

Bruno@MT

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...you just went through two minutes of beating the crap out of and getting beat by a friend (or competitor) to stop, bow to each other, share a hug, a smile, and think how that was a great time.

I used to do that when I was in college, on friday nights.
I'd visit my best friend's dorm, and while the rest was going out to see a movie, we'd gear up (shin pads, teeth guard, knuckle guards) and spent an hour and a half beating each other up.

When the others came back, we were invariably nursing big bruises, bumps, a split lip and things like that. They didn't really understand our definition of having a great time.

We quit doing that when his knees went bust (malformed bone structure leading to cartilege detorioration). We still miss those days. We'd do it again in a heartbeat. Few things form a friendship like beating the crap out of each other.
 

Balrog

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...you bow whenever you enter or leave a room.

&#8206;...you find yourself shaking hands with people with your left hand under your right elbow.
My friends at work have noticed me bowing when I come into the conference room and a couple have noticed the handshake. They find it amusing. When it was pointed out to me that I do this, my first thought was, "Well, finally, something is sinking in." :)
 

Bill Mattocks

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I called my doctor 'sensei' last week when I had an appointment for a checkup.

And he noted my latest bruises and said "Those are just from karate, right?"

So we're both used to it by now.
 

Ken Morgan

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you actually have scars on your hands an arms from sword work....

(Not anymore, but learning to use a shinken was a *****)
 

OnlyAnEgg

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...you have a pretty good idea why Chuck Norris is so badass and can name 10 people that can take him.
 

Aiki Lee

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you actually have scars on your hands an arms from sword work....

(Not anymore, but learning to use a shinken was a *****)

My main training partner has a scar from a yari, and a few of us have some on our hands from the sword so I can say I literally feel your pain.
 

CrimsonPhoenix

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You judge how good a particular workout was by how soaked with sweat your gi is afterward.

When outside of class, you turn around to face the back of a room to adjust your jacket/shirt/coat out of habit.

Your friends (from experience) back away and scream &#8220;No!&#8221; when you ask if you can try some joint locks or self defense on them.

You have personalized your instructors&#8217; ringtone so that it plays &#8220;Kung Fu Fighting&#8221; or something similar when they call.

You have considered (or have done so) altering your uniform so that it fits better, regardless of your actual sewing ability.

You are more comfortable barefoot than with shoes on.
 

Blade96

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....you look at random people as you are walking down the street and wonder if you can take them.

(Oh yes i've done that too)
 

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