Christina05
Green Belt
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What do you do if someone keeps trying to get into a physical altercation with you?
What to Do
- Thread starter Christina05
- Start date
MarkBarlow
Purple Belt
Could you give us a bit more background information? Different situations call for different responses.
CuongNhuka
Senior Master
Like what I got going on with my idiot Brother in law? If so, you might want to consider going through the thread "discussion of philosophy". It gets to that point towards the end. Other wise, I'd go with what Mark said, more info needed.
Jdokan
Black Belt
each situation as posted is different...my belief always difuse before you destroy.......
This is good advice, in the absence of any more specific information. If you're being subject to harrassment, a restraining order may be your best way to go. Sometime, if someone is bullying someone else, a restraining order shoves the bully's face into the prospect of doing jail time, and that's often all it takes. But you should in any case notify law enforcement.
KempoGuy06
Grandmaster
Well said exile. If you are afraid that the altercation could become far worse and endager family or friends than the police need to be notified ASAP. Good luck
B
I too agree with Exile...This ain't the good old days where if you got challenged and you kicked his butt or he kicked yours that was that..Involving the family was UNTHINKABLE!!!
You're not providing enough info to give much advice, as others have said.
The most ideal choice is almost always to leave without fighting; after all, if you fight for real -- SOMEBODY gets hurt. And that somebody might be you, even if you win. It gets even worse if weapons come into play...
That's not always possible, though. An alternative is to get someone in authority (teacher, cop, etc) to intervene.
If that's not practical, you can try bluffing them. My teacher tells how he was once challenged by a guy when the guy found out my teacher trained in martial arts. When the guy told him how much he knew... my teacher simply replied to the effect that "I'm still practicing... I don't know enough to be worth fighting for you!" It worked...
Last resort... If you're in a position where you have to -- fight the guy. Win. You have a choice whether to do so in a manner that's so decisive nobody'll challenge you again -- or to do so in way that shows that you could have done worse, but chose not to. There are arguments for either approach.
still learning
Senior Master
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Hello, Have you read the "GIFT of GEAR"?
1: Avoidance is always a good practice...never go to there house or meet them at other places. If they come over? ...make excuse to leave the house.
2. Sometimes you will need to stand up to them...bullies will continune to bully the weak...until they realize they can get hurt too.
If you decide to stand-up make sure other people around can break up the fight...you want it to last for only seconds if possibe. This way the next time he will think about more?
3. Reason with them? ....9 out 10 will not work...these type of people only know one way to solve their problems....by scareing/bullying/fighting..others to have it there way.
4.Karate chop -in the right place? or groin attack by a grown man?
..Aloha
1: Avoidance is always a good practice...never go to there house or meet them at other places. If they come over? ...make excuse to leave the house.
2. Sometimes you will need to stand up to them...bullies will continune to bully the weak...until they realize they can get hurt too.
If you decide to stand-up make sure other people around can break up the fight...you want it to last for only seconds if possibe. This way the next time he will think about more?
3. Reason with them? ....9 out 10 will not work...these type of people only know one way to solve their problems....by scareing/bullying/fighting..others to have it there way.
4.Karate chop -in the right place? or groin attack by a grown man?
..Aloha
No offense - but do you mean The Gift of Fear - not Gear? In case someone wants to find a copy, because The Gift of Fear is a great book.
Go in person to the local PD or whomever your enforcement arm is..Most Cops/Sheriffs etc...etc.. take a dim view of this sort of thing...
KamonGuy2
Master of Arts
Good advice. If the police are aware of the problem then it can help back you up later (if there are any incidents)
OP
Christina05
Green Belt
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Basically whats happening is when ever me and my friends hang out anywhere this person happens to be there. I try my best to steer clear of this person but it never seems to happen.Last weekend there was a lot of words thrown around I did file a police report but some how I don't think this person cares too much about it. My only problem is I know what I'm capable of doing and I don't want to hurt anyone.
It's still unclear as to what the problem is. Either you're hanging around with people who tolerate jerks, or you're going places where you're finding jerks.
Either way -- a solution seems apparent.
My personal time is too valuable to waste hanging around with losers and jerks. I get more than enough of that in the people I'm forced to deal with when I'm on the clock...
Walk away and when they finally stupid enough to hit me make sure they remember it for a long time but first and foremost walk away as always.
Just DO NOT turn your back on this person..There are FAR too many cowards out there that will not confront you face to face and welcome the oppertunity for a cheap shot from behind...
CuongNhuka
Senior Master
My personnal rules of thumb in these situations.
1, Awareness. You're aware of the problem, so your set.
2, Alertness. Stay aware of when the knuckle head is going to do something stupid.
3, Aviodence. when that happens, leave. Discrection is the better part of valor.
4, Anticaption. Even as you leave, use your perferial vision to make sure he/she is following you.
5, Action.
If it comes to 5 keep these two things in mind. 1 "fighting is evil, but if you must fight, win". Also, "never throw the first punch, but do be the one to LAND the first punch". On the street, the first person to land a punch will probably win. Also, try to just send 'em home with there bell rung, don't send 'em to the hospitle. Keep in mind, these are just general rules of thumb. There will always be situations were you have to skip ahead, or to cause serious injury.
1, Awareness. You're aware of the problem, so your set.
2, Alertness. Stay aware of when the knuckle head is going to do something stupid.
3, Aviodence. when that happens, leave. Discrection is the better part of valor.
4, Anticaption. Even as you leave, use your perferial vision to make sure he/she is following you.
5, Action.
If it comes to 5 keep these two things in mind. 1 "fighting is evil, but if you must fight, win". Also, "never throw the first punch, but do be the one to LAND the first punch". On the street, the first person to land a punch will probably win. Also, try to just send 'em home with there bell rung, don't send 'em to the hospitle. Keep in mind, these are just general rules of thumb. There will always be situations were you have to skip ahead, or to cause serious injury.
grydth
Senior Master
Very general situation here, but I'll try...If this person always seems to be where you go, two possibilties come to mind. One is an associate of yours is calling and informing the bully of where you will be.... solution is lose that "friend" in a hurry.
Or, the bully could know your location by stalking you - that in itself can be a criminal offense in most jurisdictions....and the behavior usually indicates worse will happen. I suggest you see a lawyer and/or the police about applying for an Order of Protection. He'll care about that when he winds up in jail.
I don't know the background, and I don't need to know.... but if you folks are all in a University or work setting, I'm thinking the Dean of Students or the Manager should be told about this... Maybe he'll wake up if facing job loss or expulsion.
There's no defense like not being where the attacker expects you to be. If you keep running into this guy on specific nights at specific bars, maybe you could let this cool by staying in a couple of nights or trying some other places.
About words thrown around - a first year law school lesson: Never get into a pissing contest with a skunk. Avoid being drawn into verbal fights - physical ones then occur.
I had a green belt in kenpo when I was your age....good, but it won't stop a bullet. Stay away from this psycho.
Em MacIntosh
3rd Black Belt
I'm probably gonna hear from Drac on this one...a restraining order is like a deadbolt. It only keeps the honest people out. If someone wants in, they can get in. It creates more clear, cut and dried conditions. The most effective reason for a restaining order is to make the person seen as threatening. Tilts the scales in court in your favor but realistically it is no form of defence. It'll make it easier to make a case that you were afraid for your life and had to do what was necessary and justifiable. If you're lucky, you can call the police and have him arrested before any altercation takes place...
