Understanding Men....

[Sarah]

"I'm going fishing."
Really means...
"I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by in complete safety."

"I'm going hunting"
Really means...
"I'm going to drink myself dangerously stupid, and stand in the woods with a lethal weapon in my hand, shooting at anything that makes a noise that isn't blaze orange. I think my friends and I will all be back in one piece

"Let's take your car."
Really means....
"Mine is full of beer cans, burger wrappers and completely out of gas."

Woman driver."
Really means....
"Someone who doesn't speed, tailgate, swear, make obscene gestures and has a better driving record than me."

"I don't care what color you paint the kitchen."
Really means....
"As long as it's not blue, green, pink, red, yellow, lavender, gray, mauve, black, turquoise or any other color besides white."

"It's a guy thing."
Really means....
"There is no rational thought pattern connected with it, and you have no chance at all of making it logical."

"Uh huh," "Sure, honey," or "Yes, dear."
Really mean....
Absolutely nothing. It's a conditioned response like Pavlov's dog drooling.

"Good idea."
Really means....
"It'll never work. And I'll spend the rest of the day gloating."

"Have you lost weight?"
Really means....
"I've just spent our last $30 on a cordless drill."

"My wife doesn't understand me."
Really means....
"She's heard all my stories before, and is tired of them."

"It would take too long to explain."
Really means....
"I have no idea how it works."

"I'm getting more exercise lately."
Really means....
"The batteries in the remote are dead."

"We're going to be late."
Really means....
"Now I have a legitimate excuse to drive like a maniac."

"Hey, I've read all the classics."
Really means....
"I've been subscribing to Playboy since 1972."

"I was listening to you. It's just that I have things on my mind."
Really means....
"I was wondering if that red-head over there is wearing a bra."

"Take a break, honey, you're working too hard."
Really means....
"I can't hear the game over the vacuum cleaner."

"That's interesting, dear."
Really means....
"Are you still talking?"

"Honey, we don't need material things to prove our love."
Really means....
"I forgot our anniversary again."

"You expect too much of me."
Really means....
"You want me to stay awake?"

"That's women's work."
Really means....
"It's difficult, dirty, and thankless."

"You know how bad my memory is."
Really means....
"I remember the theme song to F Troop, the address of the first girl I ever kissed, and the Vehicle Identification Numbers of every car I've ever owned, but I forgot your birthday."

"I was just thinking about you, and got you these roses."
Really means....
"The girl selling them on the corner was a real babe."

And if all you men are thinking about trying to understand woman...dont bother, you never will.....just love us anyways

 

[MA-Caver]

Dammit! I TOLD you guys we needed to rescue those poor B*stards from the LLR. Those Cabaaanaaah boys are telling them everything!

So c'mon who's with me! :armed: :knight: :2pistols: :samurai: :viking3: :ninja: :enguard: :viking2:







....(water drop echoes) ....

figgures....

 

[BrandiJo]

haha in order to rescue them dont ya gotta get in first?

 

[MA-Caver]

haha in order to rescue them dont ya gotta get in first?

If you watch more testosterone fueled movies (i.e. The Rock, Bad Boys II, Lets Get Harry, etc.) you'll see that we just don't sashay our way into the front gates.


Heh We BLAST THEM !!! Muha ha ha ha ha... :redeme:

 

[Ceicei]

And kill yourself in the process, just like that red smiley....

- Ceicei

 

[OUMoose]

Sometimes self-sacrifice is the only answer...

However, Mac, don't forget about the Post-hypnotic suggestion we gave all the "boys" before they entered service...

Ever see the manchurian candidate, ladies? :snipe:

 

[bignick]

Mutual death is honorable.

Lead the way MACaver....Charge!!!

 

[Chronuss]

Nick and I'll flank'em whilest you guys head up the center. :wink1:

 

[Chronuss]

And kill yourself in the process, just like that red smiley....

but there's a real big kaboom...

 

[shesulsa]

Ladies, hush! Leave the door unlocked, they'll all come rushing in and WE'LL HAVE THEM ALL TO ENSLAVE FOR ALL ETERNITY SERVING OUR EVERY WHIM AND MOST HORRIFIC MOOD SWINGS!!! AND OUR ANGER WILL BE TERRIBLE SHOULD THEY DISOBEY AND THE REIGN OF WOMEN SHALL RESUME ONCE MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

....

*cough* *hack* *ahem* What?

 

[bignick]

:mp5::flame::ak47::goop::ripper::uzi::rockets::snipe::sig::apv::machgunr::tank::biggun::shooter:


ATTACK...

 

[shesulsa]

One down - ladies, we got bignick in the cat trap.

 

[someguy]

I'd say something about understanding women but umm well sorry I don't.
I'm sure the rest of the guys around here agree.

 

[Sarah]

hehe....Ive got dibs on Moose...come on in baby

*winks to Georgia* ...hehe they wont know what hit them

 

[OUMoose]

*smiles softly as he picks up the phone on the 1st thursday of the 1st month letting the phone in the cabana boy stable ring only one time while sounding one car horn blast*

Guys can fight dirty too...

*Waits for Sarah outside*

 

[JPR]

Ladies, hush! Leave the door unlocked, they'll all come rushing in and WE'LL HAVE THEM ALL TO ENSLAVE FOR ALL ETERNITY SERVING OUR EVERY WHIM AND MOST HORRIFIC MOOD SWINGS!!! AND OUR ANGER WILL BE TERRIBLE SHOULD THEY DISOBEY AND THE REIGN OF WOMEN SHALL RESUME ONCE MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

....

*cough* *hack* *ahem* What?

Like this isn't what is already happening????
JPR

 

[Feisty Mouse]

J, you rock. Your wife trained you well, or something.

 

[Sarah]

HAHA...no darling, we just play with your minds and let you 'think' that your fighting dirty....

When will you learn woman have all the power....

*smiles softly as he picks up the phone on the 1st thursday of the 1st month letting the phone in the cabana boy stable ring only one time while sounding one car horn blast*

Guys can fight dirty too...

*Waits for Sarah outside*

 

[someguy]

Well you women folk done cry about stuff. Thats black mail.
Shoot if we cried about stuff. Well you'd laugh yourself silly.
It done don't be a fair playing field.
Us guys need to get together and figure out how to even it out.

 

[Sarah]

Well you women folk done cry about stuff. Thats black mail.
Shoot if we cried about stuff. Well you'd laugh yourself silly.
It done don't be a fair playing field.
Us guys need to get together and figure out how to even it out.

Yep..you guys have it tough....but hey, you're big strong men, deal with it!


Question: Can men ever win?


If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you're a male chauvinist.

If you stay home and do the housework, you're a pansy.

If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.

If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.

If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this is exploitation.

If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your *** and find something better.

If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favoritism.

If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.

If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment.

If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.

If you cry, you're a wimp.

If you don't, you're an insensitive bastard.

If you thump her, it's wife bashing.

If she thumps you, it's self defense.

If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist.

If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.

If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination.

If she asks you, it's a favor.

If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear, you're a pervert.

If you don't, you're a fag.

If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape, you're sexist.

If you don't, you're unromantic.

If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain.

If you don't, you're a slob.

If you buy her flowers, you're after something.

If you don't, you're not thoughtful.

If you're proud of your achievements, you're up on yourself.

If you don't, you're not ambitious.

If she has a headache, she's tired.

If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore.

If you want it too often, you're oversexed. If you don't, there must be someone else.