Unconventional Martial Arts Techniques

Thesemindz

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I was on a myspace forum where this came up and I'm trying to think of some unconventional martial arts techniques such as

1. The Clop in the Chops (A nice solid pop to the mouth)
2. The Knuckle Sandwich (A close fisted strike to the jaw)
3. The Shat to the Back (Captain Kirk's double fisted downward strike tp the spine of his opponents, made famous in Star Trek)
4. The "Full Meal Deal" (There's the one-two combo, the three piece, and then the "full meal deal" which comes complete with sides and a dessert)
5. The "Rap on the Jack Johnson" (Ron Burgundy's famous fighting techinque)
6. The "Boot to the Head" (Most successful when controlling one's anger and striking first)

I'm looking for any other ideas you guys might have. I'll try to think of more to post.


-Rob
 

oddball

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Sorry, but I burst out laughing (in class, bleh) at the "Shat to the Back" name.
 

Kreth

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1. The Clop in the Chops (A nice solid pop to the mouth)
These days I'd be leery of possibly cutting my hand on my opponent's teeth. Lots of bacteria in a human mouth, not to mention I don't know if he's up to date on his shots.
2. The Knuckle Sandwich (A close fisted strike to the jaw)
When you pit little bones against big bones, the little bones usually lose. Great, I knocked him out. Too bad I just broke my hand, since that means I won't be able to drive away before his friends show up. I really wish I'd bought an automatic... :lol:
 

bushidomartialarts

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As was mentioned directly above, there's a reason a lot of these techniques are unconventional: they're risky or ineffective.

Some of the silliest techniques I've had the privilege of watching some drunk try in a bar were things made popular on TV or in a movie. Stuff that looks good on screen ain't likely to fly in real life, sad to say.
 

Kreth

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Some of the silliest techniques I've had the privilege of watching some drunk try in a bar were things made popular on TV or in a movie. Stuff that looks good on screen ain't likely to fly in real life, sad to say.
Absolutely. Back before I got started in martial arts, I once got into it with a guy who liked to throw a lot of flashy (and sloppy, as I know now) techniques. He tried to hit me with some type of spin kick, and I just ran into him, knocked him down, then jumped on him and started pounding.
 
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Thesemindz

Thesemindz

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Wow, maybe you guys missed the point of the post.

I'm looking for silly slang terms for ridiculous beat downs. I'm not encouraging someone to throw a knuckle sandwich in a self defense situation, I'm looking for terms like knuckle sandwich.

Get it? It's a joke.
 

Kreth

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I'm looking for silly slang terms for ridiculous beat downs. I'm not encouraging someone to throw a knuckle sandwich in a self defense situation, I'm looking for terms like knuckle sandwich.
Then maybe you should have posted in the Comedy Cafe? :idunno:
 

Rich Parsons

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These days I'd be leery of possibly cutting my hand on my opponent's teeth. Lots of bacteria in a human mouth, not to mention I don't know if he's up to date on his shots.

When you pit little bones against big bones, the little bones usually lose. Great, I knocked him out. Too bad I just broke my hand, since that means I won't be able to drive away before his friends show up. I really wish I'd bought an automatic... :lol:


Shots!

Yes they need to have their shots. :D ;)


I like open handed techniques. Including slaps to the face. I did it once and this punk looked around with his fist still tight (* The slap had stopped him and shocked him *) and he stated, "Look he hit me, I am only 17." Then this guy I never meet before and never saw again, steps up and says, "I saw a Man slap a Boy." The Boy walked away embarrassed and so did his friend who had tried to start it.
 

JadecloudAlchemist

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Personally I like Popeye's unconventional boxing methods or the Teenage mutant ninja turtles one thousand ways to use a sword with out cutting someone. Or Bobobo-bobobo method of trying to make your opponent laugh at you.
 

bushidomartialarts

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How about the Imperial Storm Trooper Blaster method, apparently intended to frighten targets into surrendering without actually harming them.

Probably results in fewer lawsuits....
 

Ignignokt

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Making face pudding: beating someone to a pulp.


Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum: hooking the corner of someone's mouth with a finger to pull them closer to you and then breaking a bottle over their head.(usually done at bars)


Bad dog! unexpectedly grabbing someone by the back of the neck and pushing their head to the floor.


The drunken hubby: taking your belt off and whipping someone with it.


Going down during rag time shoving someones face into anything nasty that happens to be lying around e.g. garbage, rotting fruit, feces...


My mind is heading towards the gutter so I will stop there. I hope this is what you were looking for.
 

Shaderon

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How could you forget the

***** Slap: Usually done to someone who's mouthing off or giving you verbal humiliation, or it could be to someone who's trying to hurt you but is of a much less quality fighter than yourself. It must be a full arm swing followed by a slap to the side of the face with a cupped hand type technique, and the result has to be at least a loss of balance or preferably being knocked off the feet. In all cases it's the last action in the fight.
 

IcemanSK

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I like the 3 Stooges eye poke, myself:ultracool Hence the shades.
 

CoryKS

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How could you forget the

***** Slap: Usually done to someone who's mouthing off or giving you verbal humiliation, or it could be to someone who's trying to hurt you but is of a much less quality fighter than yourself. It must be a full arm swing followed by a slap to the side of the face with a cupped hand type technique, and the result has to be at least a loss of balance or preferably being knocked off the feet. In all cases it's the last action in the fight.

Also effective when you just want a sammich. Kidding! I'm only kidding!
 

bluekey88

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Here're some grappling techniques

The "Ball and chain", from behind, pull opponenet's arm between his legs, yank up sharply, flipping them over...crushing the "jewels".

the "hook and ladder"...from the front, reach down, grab the groin woth one hand, grabunder should with other, lift and throw.

Striking techs -
The "no. 9 boot in the ****"...fans of PVP will knwo this one. Take boot, apply liberally to opponent's backside.

the "Vulcan mind meld" - aka the headbutt.

Peace,
Erik
 

CuongNhuka

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The fish hook. take one finger and instert into opponents mouth at corner of lips, and rip up and away.

The bartender. One arm grabbs back of opponents collar, the other his belt. Pick up and heave. Commonly used by bartenders.

The fearsome ferious hugg of death!!!!! Thats my pattened tech, no one can steal it. While fighting, throw a serious of strikes that are at point blank range to opponents head. After they stop fighting back, rap both arms around opponents head as a show of no hard feelings. The head hugg is also useful in a post-argument calming down talk.
 

exile

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The fish hook. take one finger and instert into opponents mouth at corner of lips, and rip up and away.

It may be unconventional, CN, but it's not unprecedented. Apparently it was a calling card of no less a supreme martial artist and all round bitter-and-twisted SOB than Chotoku Kyan, about whom Bruce Clayton passes on the following report due to Shoshin Nagamine:

Challenged to a friendly match by a 6th dan in judo, Kyan stuck his thumb inside his opponent's mouth, dug his nails into the man's cheek, and yanked him down to the ground `in an attempt to separate the skin from the bone'. He then finished off his opponent with a hammerfist blow to the face. To give him credit, he held back the final blow afternearly ripping the terrified man's face off. It was a friendly match, after all.

(Shotokan's Secret, p. 90). And if it was good enough for Choto K., it should be good enough for us, I figure... :EG:
 

bluemtn

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The "Hello... Goodbye!" method (a part of one of my forms): Reach for the "goods" (actually, could be anything- that's just an example) with one hand. While pulling fast and hard in an upward motion, strike the "goods" with your opposite hand- like your picking up a receiver with one, pushing "hangup" with the other...
 

zDom

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I've had people threaten to "Jap Slap" me before. They never actually followed through on the threat, so I'm not exactly sure what this technique might be :)
 

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