The Diaries of a Dog and Cat

hardheadjarhead

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A Dog's Diary:

8am - Oh Boy! Dog food! My favorite!
9am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!
10am - Oh Boy! A walk! My favorite!
11am - Oh Boy! A car ride! My favorite!
Noon - Oh boy! The kids! My favorite!
1pm - Oh boy! The Yard! My favorite!
3pm - Oh Boy! The kids! My favorite!
4pm - Oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!
5pm - Oh boy! Mom! My favorite!
7pm - Oh Boy! Playing ball! My favorite!
9pm - Oh boy! Sleeping in master's bed! My favorite!


A Cat's Diary:

Day 183 of my captivity...

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture.

Tomorrow I may eat another houseplant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded - must try this at the top of the stairs. In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair - must try this on the bed.

Decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of what I am capable of, and to try to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Hmmm, not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices. I was placed in solitary throughout the event. However, I could hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies". Must learn what this is and how to use it to my advantage.

I am convinced the other captives are flunkies and maybe snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured.

But I can wait - It is only a matter of time...




Regards,


Steve
 

Feisty Mouse

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lol - cats are manipulating little... somethings.

My dog, although maybe not the Einstein of the dog world (although of course he is, who am I kidding) sometimes surprises me. I realize that he's herding me sometimes, that little weasel!!
 

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