Sitting wondering

[terryl965]

As I sit at the new school and watch my younger student train under my wife BoricuaTKD here on Martial Talk. I cannot help but wonder where they will be in twenty five years, some maybe Doctors while other politician. Some maybe business tycoons and other living pay check to pay check. Still a few might just be owning and teaching in the Martial Arts and for them as well as the other student I wish them the very besy in life. But as we all know must of them will never ever be heard from again they will just disappear into the mix of life itself.

I can remember only a handful of my training partner from 40 years ago and over the last twenty five years I only really talk to a couple why is this what happen to the friendship and bond we built though MA and why does that bond not say though life? I also wonder what ever happened to the majority of them and how is there lifes doing with all that training did they forget about us or do they remember there formal partner is sweat and bruises. I know I personnally can only remember a handful of those formal training buddies and still I cannot help myself from wondering why do we forget?

I also like to know who what and why these things happen in the world, I will chalk it up to society and the virtue that lies withen each of us but the simple truth is life goes on with or without your training partners and full ever will.

 

[granfire]

Hmmm....

Well, it is the flow of life. You meet people and you drift away. close contact does not equal great influence...or as my Mom always told me 'good friends greed from afar' you don't have to be geographically to be friends.

You carry them in your heart an memory...

Read 'The five People I will meet in heaven' not as bad as it sounds, it's a novel about this old guy who dies and wonders what his purpose in life was. Good read. We influence people as we are influenced by them. Some never know of the importance they had in another person's life.

I once saw a documentary about some tribe in the Sahara Desert. their farewell phrase literally meant 'leaving to meet again' which made me sad, because it was obvious that once the camera team left they would not return 'to meet again'

Not helping much, I know. But it's like this feeling 'if I knew now what I will know then' but since we don't we have to put our best foot forward...the way thing turn out is good, even if it doesn't look like it at first.

 

[Sukerkin]

I once believed that the friends we made were 'for life'. For a while that seemed to be true as I built friendships that lasted for twenty or twenty-five years.

Then, suddenly, a few years ago, it all disintegrated and people I thought I would 'see' at my graveside are no longer in my life. In part, this was because I had undiagnosed manic depression and thus, from my old friends perspective, turned into a complete ****. So I suppose in one sense it can be said that I drove them away, however involuntarily.

However, this breaking of bonds has happened to me before. First was school. Then was university (first time round). Then was my time in the museum world. Oddly, in all my years in Lau Gar, I didn't form the same sort of bonds - there were people I liked and those I preferred to train with but it never overflowed into general life. Iaido has seen me forge more personal links with my fellows (which just makes it worse when people you've trained with for a long time suddenly stop turning up).

It's the nature of a scial animal, which Man is, I think to be fluid i his social groupings. As I said at the start, I once believed that the early friendships we forge stay with us and that as you add the decades you stop making new friends and settle on your 'tribe'. Now I see this is not the case and you keep evolving your tribe as you yourself evolve.

People change at the end of the day, as do you and those that one year you would stop-a-bullet for are gone the next.

 

[newGuy12]

I also wonder what ever happened to the majority of them and how is there lifes doing with all that training did they forget about us or do they remember there formal partner is sweat and bruises.

I also like to know who what and why these things happen in the world, I will chalk it up to society and the virtue that lies withen each of us but the simple truth is life goes on with or without your training partners and full ever will.

Life goes on. Myself, I had to stop practicing. I hated it, but I was in the midst of a terrible self imposed crisis. I could not evade or ignore it. Things were very bad for me, and I had to quit to concentrate on other more pressing matters, to gain peace of mind. It had to be done.

I am back now, though, and all of those who have stayed are very high rank, even fourth and fifth degree black belts. I can remember when my Teacher was only a 1st degree black belt. Everyone is older now. He now runs the school that I go to. My original SabumNeem is now gone, he has passed on. But my Instructor is very adept and he makes me proud that he teaches in the way that my original Teacher, our Grand Master did! It is very much like the original ways! I know that if my old GrandMaster were to be able to see us, he would be proud of my Teacher! There is no doubt in my mind about this! And we have his picture on the wall, we will never forget what he gave to us, never! It is our Precious Treasure. I was so fortunate in this way, it is such a gift for me to have received. What memories.

Also, I myself have practiced some other martial arts, very superficially. I have learned some American Kenpo, and some Aikido. Not at depth, only at the very beginner level, but still, I am very much impressed with these other two Martial Arts.

Of course, I am old now, no longer a child, and I don't care for fighting or self defense. I only practice for for good fellowship and exercise. I like to see young people of teenage years learn how to express themselves in powerful motions, to see them get faster, and more precise. Since I am now an adult, you see, I practice for a different reason, but it is as rewarding as it was as a teenager. I just don't have anything to prove to myself any more, I accept that things are as they are, day by day, including my technique. I practice hard, but I don't aspire to having very skillful techniques. Its hard to explain, but it is not due to laziness, it is just that the mind changes, or it has for me.

I am getting my feeling back, too. It will come as it will come, there is no need to rush. Because I know that we will all be dead some day.

Some people simply move away to pursue money, to get a better paying job. Others lose interest. Maybe some woman and man become boyfriend and girlfriend and then break up, one of them quits the school if they cannot stand the sight of the other one.

Many things happen, just as in any other endeavour. Not everyone can stay long without any pause. They wish to experience it to a certain level. Once they are satisfied with their goal, that's it.

*IF* we review our life after we die, like some kind of video stream playing again, I want to minimize the amount of despair I feel. I wish to feel a minimal amount of regret for things I have done. So, if I can practice in such a way that will spread peace of mind and good feelings with my fellow students, then I will persist with this. This is important to me. If our school abandoned all of the mental part of the training, I would quit the school. I would not practice empty techniques only without the respect and the formality and the structure of procedure that we follow.

The roof on the Dojang it is leaking water! More and more! and now it is unacceptable! But I told the Assistant Instructor, "Don't despair! If we must get another building, in the end it will be a boon to us! We never give up!"

There were people who trained in such conditions in Korea (no joke, this is a true story) that there was ICE on the floor, but yet they trained. This is not for the sissy to start. Or if they start (and keep on with it) then the personality will change! They will become stout in their mind! That gives strength to the whole life, not just in fighting!

 

[newGuy12]

did they forget about us or do they remember there formal partner is sweat and bruises.

No one forgets. They may make bad choices and end up in a bad spot, they may make big trouble for themselves and can't practice, but they remember, often. Once you get deep enough into this, no, you cannot forget. You cannot even empty your cup if you try!

 

[Kacey]

I remember many of the people I met while training... some still train, and I still see some of them. But for the most part, the people I trained with and I have very little in common outside of TKD - so once they stopped training, we had no reason to get together.

 

[SageGhost83]

As I sit at the new school and watch my younger student train under my wife BoricuaTKD here on Martial Talk. I cannot help but wonder where they will be in twenty five years, some maybe Doctors while other politician. Some maybe business tycoons and other living pay check to pay check. Still a few might just be owning and teaching in the Martial Arts and for them as well as the other student I wish them the very besy in life. But as we all know must of them will never ever be heard from again they will just disappear into the mix of life itself.

I can remember only a handful of my training partner from 40 years ago and over the last twenty five years I only really talk to a couple why is this what happen to the friendship and bond we built though MA and why does that bond not say though life? I also wonder what ever happened to the majority of them and how is there lifes doing with all that training did they forget about us or do they remember there formal partner is sweat and bruises. I know I personnally can only remember a handful of those formal training buddies and still I cannot help myself from wondering why do we forget?

I also like to know who what and why these things happen in the world, I will chalk it up to society and the virtue that lies withen each of us but the simple truth is life goes on with or without your training partners and full ever will.

I don't have the years under my belt, but I think that I can somewhat relate. People come and people go - even family. I remember when I was younger, I had such an amazing family and we moved all around the world (military brat). I thought that we would always be together, the perfect family. Things changed over time, though. We settled down in the US east coast and slowly the family began to fall apart. My mother came down with cancer. My parents began to get into horrible arguements that required the police to be called to the house many times. Big brother fell in with the wrong crowd and got on the bad side of the law. The family dog (my best friend since I was a child) died. Then my mother passed away and it was completely devastating. Father remarried and decided that he didn't like his original family so he pretty much turned his back on us and went his own way. Brother got married and is now a father himself. He has gone his own way, too. Now it is just me, and pretty soon I will be moving to another part of the world to serve military duty. I thought that we would always be together no matter what, we were the type of family that always came out on top despite the odds. However, each one of us has gone our own way and the past seems more like a dream from another place and another life that didn't really exist. We didn't choose to drift apart, things just kinda happened that way. Though we fought valiantly to stay together, fate's will did not comply. I remember my original sensei and many of the original karateka that I trained with. Some of them quit immediately. Some of them stayed with the training and became scary good. The small group of us that remained, we grew really close together, like a family. We were the only Shotokan karateka on campus, and well, those Daniel-san jokes hurled at us by the rest of the students got old really quickly. Oh man, I remember going out to eat at the Chinese restaurant after grueling training sessions, or going to the gamestop to check out the latest martial arts related videogames together, and even lying on the ground in pools of our own sweat after training and discussing the funny things that we had seen on television the night before. Now that group is no more. I graduated and moved on. One student got in trouble with the law because he decided that he wanted to show off for his girlfriend. Another student got too cocky and was sent on his marry way by sensei. The rest eventually lost interest in their training and are now pursuing other interests in their life...and so the process continues. I will soon be moving away and leaving my current dojang and classmates behind. I will move on, they will move on, and Sanbunim will continue to gain and lose students. That is life - people come and people go. We can't stop it, even though we try with all of our heart to do so. I certainly know that I have tried to do so, and have experienced quite a lot of depression in the process. Our training partners are like family, and when we leave them or vice versa, we experience a similar type of pain or longing - especially when we cannot be with sensei or sempai anymore. I guess peace comes in the understanding and acceptance of this tragic process. We may not have them around with us, but we do have the sweet memories to hold on to.