question about sensei's favorites

[kingkong89]

i was wondering, i have been in martial arts for 11 years and last year i recieved my black belt. now i was wondering because ther is a boy that has been takeing martial art for 4 years and went through to get his black belt at the same ceremony. i worry because my sensei has chose him as his "favorite", maybe it is because he just sits around and watches videos and learns from tv how to fight and looks good, i was courious has any one ever had this hapen to them.

 

[jks9199]

i was wondering, i have been in martial arts for 11 years and last year i recieved my black belt. now i was wondering because ther is a boy that has been takeing martial art for 4 years and went through to get his black belt at the same ceremony. i worry because my sensei has chose him as his "favorite", maybe it is because he just sits around and watches videos and learns from tv how to fight and looks good, i was courious has any one ever had this hapen to them.

You shouldn't compare one student's pace of promotion with another. Yes, instructors have their favorites, who end up receiving extra training opportunities and focus. Teachers are human -- but this is also because the student in question is able to devote themselves more than another, or works harder, or does more...

For example, a student who is still in high school or college has a lot more time to devote to training than a student who is a working adult, with a demanding career and family. It's quite likely that the kid will be promoted more rapidly than the adult; after all, they're not balancing classes with work demands and family obligations. They have the luxury to devote their time to training...

Even if you could devote the same time -- you may simply not be as talented athletically as another student. Or you may not know that the guy who's getting promoted "too fast" has another black belt in a related system...

And, instructors often do select protoges, who receive special attention. This may be because they simply remind the teacher of himself, or because they show some intangible interest or drive.

Don't worry about other people's rankings. Worry about your own training; is it progressing the way you want? Are you learning what you want? Does the training and pace of promotion meet your needs -- or do you feel that you're simply being taken advantage of? These are the things to consider when comparing yourself to another student -- not "he was promoted before me."

 

[ehsen]

I don't understand why you are so worried about black belt. Important thing is how good you are.

By the way anyone can buy a black belt in few dollars. Skill is important then belt.

:asian:

 

[Kacey]

You shouldn't compare one student's pace of promotion with another. Yes, instructors have their favorites, who end up receiving extra training opportunities and focus. Teachers are human -- but this is also because the student in question is able to devote themselves more than another, or works harder, or does more...

For example, a student who is still in high school or college has a lot more time to devote to training than a student who is a working adult, with a demanding career and family. It's quite likely that the kid will be promoted more rapidly than the adult; after all, they're not balancing classes with work demands and family obligations. They have the luxury to devote their time to training...

Even if you could devote the same time -- you may simply not be as talented athletically as another student. Or you may not know that the guy who's getting promoted "too fast" has another black belt in a related system...

And, instructors often do select protoges, who receive special attention. This may be because they simply remind the teacher of himself, or because they show some intangible interest or drive.

Don't worry about other people's rankings. Worry about your own training; is it progressing the way you want? Are you learning what you want? Does the training and pace of promotion meet your needs -- or do you feel that you're simply being taken advantage of? These are the things to consider when comparing yourself to another student -- not "he was promoted before me."

jks9199 makes some great points - especially the ones I bolded, although I agree with everything he's written. Progress is a personal journey - some people arrive at certain milestones faster than others, some slower... some never. If you're getting what you want and need out of class, who cares how the rest are doing?

 

[Phoenix44]

Don't sweat it. Look, I was one of the instructors who officiated at the shodan test of my sensei's son a few years ago. Now the son is nidan, and we're all still shodan. Whatever.

 

[tenth1]

yes, it is less about the colour belt you wear or rank you hold than what you feel you have achieved or the satisfaction that you get from your art,
as long as you continue to progress what matter the colour of your belt

 

[Grenadier]

One thing that I'll share with you; when a teacher says to a student that "you're my favorite student," it's probably the same thing as a grandfather who tells each of his grandchildren "you're my favorite grandchild."

Just keep doing your part, train hard, and stay in good graces with your school. I'm sure that sooner or later, you'll probably hear that same line.

 

[Sukerkin]

JKS's post covered most of the important highlights on this one - brilliantly and simply expressed too :rei:.

A couple of extra things to bear in mind are:

- The sensei of a (non-McDojo) school is going to be very aware of what represents favourable attributes in his style and those students that quickly match those will naturally advance more quickly through to the grades where the 'real' learning begins. Just because one student can exhibit those attributes more readily than another does not invalidate the efforts of that other - it will just take longer to progress. Commitment and effort are amongst the defining characteristics of a martial artist just as much as natural flair.

- It is also worth considering that being a 'favourite' is not a synonym for 'free-ride'. A student with talent is going to be pushed harder and more demanded of him at a given grade than his fellows (if his sensei is worth his salt anyway ). It is the nature of any endeavour that apparent iniquities occur but it is also true that 'status envy' is a waste of a persons emotions.

In fact, in my experience, the slower you 'advance' and the more heavily criticised you are for minute details that everyone else 'gets away with', then more likely it is that you are a favourite .

 

[kingkong89]

new news the black belt in question went to tryout for the jounior usa and made a plummet down, i qeuss the favorite lost, and i know it no matter the belt, and he only is there because like said he is yougn and to lazy to get a job so he sets at home and practices. but has little to show for it

in spirit

 

[wade]

I tend to push my favorites a lot harder and be a lot more critical of their technique than my regular students. If they want to stay as my "favorites" then they have to work for and earn that title. Some are willing to go that extra distance, others aren't, thus goes life. BTW, they also tend to get promoted slower. No one gets a fast nor easy promotion, at least not in my school.

 

[DArnold]

would you rather be you with your knowledge, or him as a favorite?

 

[jks9199]

new news the black belt in question went to tryout for the jounior usa and made a plummet down, i qeuss the favorite lost, and i know it no matter the belt, and he only is there because like said he is yougn and to lazy to get a job so he sets at home and practices. but has little to show for it

in spirit

"He's too lazy to get a job, so he sits at home and practices."

I don't consider someone practicing to be sitting around lazily.

Could he get a job? I don't know; there may be factors you're unaware of. Should he get a job? Personal question; if he ain't being a lump and a drain on society, and is contributing in some way (like, say, training to become an instructor and get a job that way...), or is wealthy enough not to have to work -- fantastic.

Right now -- I think I'm seeing a significant case of sour grapes here.

When I was an underbelt, I had people for several years asking when I was going to test. I always said it wasn't up to me; it was up to my teacher. Meanwhile, I watched several people get promoted who, at least in my mind, weren't as skilled. Eventually -- I tested and passed. The bottom line -- in my training, I know I met a high standard to even be nominated for black belt by my teacher. And it's shown by the people within my association (and others outside) who respect me, and look for me or seek my opinion and input. My training is MY training; there's too much for me to do to sweat others.

 

[still learning]

Hello, Life is NOT always fair. In the martial arts? ...you will always see this? ...people getting promote for who-knows what reason!

Is this fair? ..... each Sensi , will have his own reasons..we may or may not agree on.

We do not know enough about your sitution? ....we can only generalize out thoughts here!

One year, over 50 of us were testing for varies ranks (testing done on twice a year,once at the seminar)...at our annual Seminar...and the Professor started talking to us...during the whole testing period.....So he past everyone...without the actual testing. (we had to be approve by our own Instrutors first. before we can actual test or be there). We were ready!

The following years some people fail at some parting of the testing and had to wait a whole year before testing again...yet there will be times...it will be easier than others.....

Everyone will experience their own versions of promotions....many of us always say NOT YET!

I have a friend who got rank because his Sensi keeps up grading him....he has NEVER tested...Never wanted the promotion.....doesn't wear KI's just loves to train and sparr...(to this day does not wear any Black belt) while training...just street clothes). Did I mention it was his Cousin who promote him? His cousin use to fight in the Under ground tournments and my friend was one of his training/sparring partners. (before MMA"S)

So how a person gets their ranks? .....some easier than others systems....today so many people carry all kinds of ranks....that Black belts in Amercia does not mean the same like in Okinawa, Japan, and many other places. (there are some really "tuff" systems in Amercia)

Like many private business who promote their own KIDS to management/bosses.....May not seem fair at times....but It is the person in charge that has the final say!

Just be humble...just be kind....just keep training because it is YOU who is trying to learn to be a better person over all!

Observe...learn to see...how others do things...(learn from it) do not repeat the bad mistakes...take the good things with you...........Aloha

 

[kingkong89]

1. me with the knowledge

2. he doesn't practice like you would think, he mainly watches tv and vdeos to learn

3. i dont have sour grapes

 

[grydth]

1. me with the knowledge

2. he doesn't practice like you would think, he mainly watches tv and vdeos to learn

3. i dont have sour grapes

I think what people are telling you is that, if you feel secure in your own ability and accomplishment, this situation should not bother you as much as it does.

Many years ago, I did have this happen to me... I had an extremely hard test for a belt, to include plenty of bruising and blood during sparring. Three weeks later I watched somebody stumble through the 'same' test... and get the same rank I had with no correction, hardly a drop of sweat and no blood.

It does not seem you have talked with your sensei - but I did bring the matter up with mine. Here is what I was told: You come to my dojo to toughen up before going into the Army. I think we gave you enough of that last month, didn't we? This other guy comes here for 'self-esteem', the kind you get from receiving colored belts...Plus, his mother wants an hour and a half alone to do who knows what. So, the way I see it, I gave both of you what you are looking for.

So, maybe you should speak frankly and directly to your sensei, instead of letting this situation poison a years long relationship. You are assuming the worst, but perhaps there is another explantion as there was in my case.

 

[Sukerkin]

Those're wise words there, grydth, especially in the last sentence which is very pertinent to Kongs dilema. :tup:.

 

[tshadowchaser]

As has been said befor Sensei's are human and will have their favorites and some will select a protoge, who receive special attention.
I myslef have been on both sides of this. Being selected to recieve that extra instruction and for selecting to give knowledge to a couple that the rest of the class never recieved.
Now I must say that I was grooming both of the students mentioned above because of their natural talent and their willingness to learn. i saw in them something the others in class did not have and I am happy to say that I was correct in my thoughts as even though they are no longer with me they have turned out to be top notch people and martial atrs practioners.
Is it right for an instructor to do this. I am not the one to answere but I think it happens often.
Do or dose the rest of the class feel this is a bad practice: maybe but my question to them would be WHY do they disaprove? Is it because the person has not studied as long as them or is younger or are they jelious that they can not do some of the techniques the other can or do they feeel slighted ( again I would ask WHY)

 

[Shotgun Buddha]

Think ya might be taking the wrong point of view on this one. Being one of Sensei's favourites doesn't mean getting a smoother ride, it means a tougher one. If you are made to work, to sweat and to bleed for your progress more than another, it shows your progress means more since you have to truly earn it. Even if this is not what a sensei intends its a truth of the matter, since your belt is only worth the effort putting into gaining it.
Other people's belts and efforts bear no reflection on your own.

 

[Kacey]

I met a high standard to even be nominated for black belt by my teacher. And it's shown by the people within my association (and others outside) who respect me, and look for me or seek my opinion and input. My training is MY training; there's too much for me to do to sweat others.

Jks - I would rep you if I could... but the rep gnomes won't let me.

This is the key. Train for yourself - no one else matters in the dojang.

1. me with the knowledge

2. he doesn't practice like you would think, he mainly watches tv and vdeos to learn

3. i dont have sour grapes

Then why do you care? I mean, honestly, if it's not bothering you, why bring it up?

 

[qi-tah]

I think it's very easy to say "if you know you've earnt yr own belt, why do you care if someone else passes easy or progresses more rapidly than you?" I actually think it's quite a challenging thing to accept things "as they are", especially if there is a perceived injustice involved. It's also quite daunting to gain a new perspective on what those belts mean to us... after all, sooner or later we all have to uncouple our training goals from an external reward/recognition system. In a way, i reckon getting beyond the various meanings of yr belt is almost like a "beltless test"... where only you can decide whether you've passed or not.