Martial Arts and confidence

[Tony]

One of the benefits people say from practicing Martial Arts is that is improves their confidence, especially youngsters who have been bullied at school.
Although I have been practicing Kung fu for 6 years I still don't feel altogether confident using what I have learned. But then I'm not really a confident person and I really enjoy learning but I just want my confidence to grow. Anyone here feel the same or have you all developed more confidence through Martial Arts?

 

[terryl965]

One of the benefits people say from practicing Martial Arts is that is improves their confidence, especially youngsters who have been bullied at school.
Although I have been practicing Kung fu for 6 years I still don't feel altogether confident using what I have learned. But then I'm not really a confident person and I really enjoy learning but I just want my confidence to grow. Anyone here feel the same or have you all developed more confidence through Martial Arts?

Well Tony confidence is a simple matter, do you feel you are getting the best training that you can get at that moment and when you are done to you feel(pumped up afterwards) if the answer is yes then you have begun to build confidence in yourself, if no then you need to seek help(just kidding) if not then you need to talk to your instructor about the way you feel after practice. I'm sure he will be able to seat you down and help you through this matter, most can.... GOD BLESS AMERICA

 

[Flatlander]

Tony, you can mark me down as one who has gained a great deal of confidence from learning martial arts. Before I started in JKD, I was the kind of guy who would never assert myself, and rarely, in the company of other men, would I offer my opinion if I thought someone might take offense. In terms of actual physicality, I had been in a couple of fights, and not fared very well, and so had learned to just remain quiet. I had also spent a great deal of time being controlled by others, and I think that this experience is what really gave me the push to improve myself.

It worked for me, Tony. And it didn't take very long. Within 3 months I felt as though I would be at least 5 times as effective, and I started to hold my head up when I walked down the street. After the results of my first live spar sunk in, I knew that I had nothing to fear. After that, it was just a process.

Gaining self confidence is a real process, Tony. If you want to use martial arts as a way to do it, first you have to realize what you've learned, and put that into context. Does it make you any different than you were before? Then, you have to begin reconciling that with all of those little "meek" nuances in your personality. You need to reconcile your new realization of yourself with all of your various personal relationships, each individually. Once you have reconciled your past and present, then it can begin to influence your future. But it takes time, and the realization of what you can do. And only YOU know what you CAN do.

Keep it real, brother.

Dan.

 

[Tony]

Hi Terry

Thanks for replying. I am not casting dispersions on my Instructor because I enjoy everything he has to teach me and every class I do leave sweating and sometimes nearly sick, but maybe thats due to my fitness level.
But the problem is I still feel like a coward in many situations of my life. I have read many people's posts with sheer envy of them being able to use their skills when they were put in life threatening situations and came out on top. However for me I would always be submissive and cower away.

 

[terryl965]

Hi Terry

Thanks for replying. I am not casting dispersions on my Instructor because I enjoy everything he has to teach me and every class I do leave sweating and sometimes nearly sick, but maybe thats due to my fitness level.
But the problem is I still feel like a coward in many situations of my life. I have read many people's posts with sheer envy of them being able to use their skills when they were put in life threatening situations and came out on top. However for me I would always be submissive and cower away.

Tony how long have you been in the Art,I'm sure if it came down to life and death your training would kick in and you be a better man aftyerwards. I myself in High school felt that I could not defend myself, although my training dictated that I could and then one day the bullie of the school demanded money from me that I did not wish to give up, when he punched at me , to my amazement I was able to block counter and put him on the ground. After that my confidence grew leaps and bounds the rest of my life.. I will bet a dollar against a penny that if it came down to it the training always will kick in. Hope this helps but until you believe in your training and yourself no-one else will.... GOD BLESS AMERICA

 

[Enson]

for me i know that even when i first started it was a confidence builder. after being picked on in school by the bullies i was always scared of the unknown. now i can walk down the street with my head higher, look people in the eyes, and know that for the most part i can defend myself. (naturally if attacked it has to be a set pattern, so i can finish my kata! hee hee! ((joke)) :uhyeah:

peace

 

[Tony]

Hi Terry

Thanks, you sound very wise and that has helped me a lot. Well I have been studying Shaolin Long fist Kung Fu for 6 years (I'm 27). There have been situations where I wished I could have asserted myself but didn't. They were mostly with someone who could see I was victim material and get away with it, but never did they try striking me because I know that if they did I would hit back. But I have never been in a situation where I have had to use my skills. I guess the only way to find out is to allow myself to get into a fight but I'm not one of those people who would do this.
Good for you that you took care of that bully! that took guts because I wished i had managed to do that at school. Your story really insprires me, thankyou!

Tony

 

[Tony]

Well I remember the first martial art i did was when i was 10 and that was judo. Its funny looking back I was always getting into fights before my final years of primary school but then there came about some change where I suddenly became passive and more of a victim. I found Judo to be useless for me because i found it hard to pick up all the techniques. I think if I had begun studying Kung fu at an earlier age I probably would be more confident now. When I was about 14 a friend of my sister taught me a little martial arts and that gave me a little bit more confidence but I remember trying to use what i had learned at school and failing which totally obliterated my confidence. When I was about 15 a friend of my mum took me to her Taekwondo class and the instructor who seemed very friendly asked me if I wanted to join in, so i did. I enjoyed some aspects of it but it just seemed so regimented if I had joined maybe I would have gained more confidence.

 

[Chrono]

I believe my training has given me a lot more confidence. Perhaps on thing you may haven't realized, and certainly have, is that you're dealing with people more, thus becoming more social.

 

[Enson]

tony,

i went to this karate tournament if fresno, cali. it was being hosted by stewart kwan (spelling). there were some kungfu guys in the competition. its funny how there "kata" (don't know the correct terminology in chinese) was very nice but when it came to sparring they were trying typical karate poses. not too impressed. i really didn't know what to expect but i was wanting to see a little more movement out of them. :idunno: well anyway just remembered that when i read you post tony. the kungfu guy lost because he did a back fist and made the other guy's nose blead. i wanted him to win but he got elminated for that.
maybe you feel like your art isn't effective in real combat. i don't know what your skill level is but maybe you might want to learn so self defense moves to boost your confidence.

 

[AdrenalineJunky]

Tony, I have read many of your posts and i have to say that, although you view it as a problem, it's nice to see that you, and so many others on MT, are very careful in regards to how MA influences your life. I am 25, so I am younger than you are; however, I do believe that I can offer something in the way of advice.

I don't think confidence is necessarily associated with martial arts. I'm the opposite, I was outspoken and somewhat of a loud-mouth as a kid, and MA helped calm me down a little. I think that everybody's different, and I could never say that MA should make YOU feel this way or that way.

What I can do is tell you a story of a young man I know, Jarred. Jarred has been training with me for about a month, twice a week, and now almost every day. Jarred is, maybe 23, just graduated college and is THE most polite person i have met in several years. However, he has absolutely no confidence in himself or his ability, which is a shame, because his potential is endless. Thus far into our training, which is just the basics and a lot of work, I have watched Jarred's personality open up. He becomes more confident with every thing he accomplishes. And it shows in every aspect of his life.

I can't tell you what MA should do for you. MA shouldn't DO anything, but teach you MA. You will get what you decide to get. Whatever it is, it's usually great. And having specifically placed myself in "real-life" situations, i can tell you that whateve instincts you have, will shine. But I can also tell you that the MA is much, much more than training for the few, if any real-life altercations you may have. I don't think you'd have any problem sparring with me, you just need to find the right partner.

AJ

 

[Chrono]

What I can do is tell you a story of a young man I know, Jarred. Jarred has been training with me for about a month, twice a week, and now almost every day. Jarred is, maybe 23, just graduated college and is THE most polite person i have met in several years. However, he has absolutely no confidence in himself or his ability, which is a shame, because his potential is endless. Thus far into our training, which is just the basics and a lot of work, I have watched Jarred's personality open up. He becomes more confident with every thing he accomplishes. And it shows in every aspect of his life.

I love stories like this! I think I'm a lot like Jarred. I open up more and aren't afraid to talk to people as much as I was before.

 

[DeLamar.J]

One of the benefits people say from practicing Martial Arts is that is improves their confidence, especially youngsters who have been bullied at school.
Although I have been practicing Kung fu for 6 years I still don't feel altogether confident using what I have learned. But then I'm not really a confident person and I really enjoy learning but I just want my confidence to grow. Anyone here feel the same or have you all developed more confidence through Martial Arts?

Some times people gain alot of false confidence from the martial arts. Mostly people who know just enough to get them selves hurt trying to use it. Fight full contact with grappling allowed, once you do that enough you will know where you stand and you will have realistic confidence in you abillity.

 

[Tony]

Tony, I have read many of your posts and i have to say that, although you view it as a problem, it's nice to see that you, and so many others on MT, are very careful in regards to how MA influences your life. I am 25, so I am younger than you are; however, I do believe that I can offer something in the way of advice.

I don't think confidence is necessarily associated with martial arts. I'm the opposite, I was outspoken and somewhat of a loud-mouth as a kid, and MA helped calm me down a little. I think that everybody's different, and I could never say that MA should make YOU feel this way or that way.

What I can do is tell you a story of a young man I know, Jarred. Jarred has been training with me for about a month, twice a week, and now almost every day. Jarred is, maybe 23, just graduated college and is THE most polite person i have met in several years. However, he has absolutely no confidence in himself or his ability, which is a shame, because his potential is endless. Thus far into our training, which is just the basics and a lot of work, I have watched Jarred's personality open up. He becomes more confident with every thing he accomplishes. And it shows in every aspect of his life.

I can't tell you what MA should do for you. MA shouldn't DO anything, but teach you MA. You will get what you decide to get. Whatever it is, it's usually great. And having specifically placed myself in "real-life" situations, i can tell you that whateve instincts you have, will shine. But I can also tell you that the MA is much, much more than training for the few, if any real-life altercations you may have. I don't think you'd have any problem sparring with me, you just need to find the right partner.

AJ

Hi AJ

Thanks for replying! I think me and your friend Jarred have a lot in common only I've been practicing Kung Fu for 6 years. But I have to say tonight was a bit of a revelation as recently I have noticed my instructor witholding certain aspects and only teaching them to other people, but now I understand why he was doing that. He told me, as I am getting so much better with this Mantis form and it is the hardest form in our system. He said I was beginning to think for myself and figure it out, hence why he left me on my own so much. He talked to me in depth and I felt so much better! Its at these times I begin to feel better within myself when I get things right.
But also I have noticed as soon as I get to class, i am very quiet when the other people start to turn up but when we have to do any partner work I am not as self conscious and I really do open up.
I know I have good skills but they have never really been tested for real. Maybe thats a good thing but I would like to be more assertive when dealing with agressive people.