MantisStyle21
Orange Belt
I got all the jokes from judoinfo.com and I posted my favorite ones, enjoy! =]
One Day the Devil challenged the Lord to a Judo tournament. Smiling the Lord proclaimed, "You don't have a chance, I have Kano, Mifune, Kotani, Kimura and all the greatest players up here".
"Yes", snickered the Devil, "but I have all the referees."
A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a big guy in a judogi with a worn black belt who has cauliflower ears and looks like he's been around the block a few times.
Saint Peter addresses this guy, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?"
The guy replies, "I'm Joe Johnson, Judo competitor and national champion for 17 years."
Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the Judo competitor, "Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."
The Judo man goes into Heaven with his robe and staff, and it's the minister's turn. He stands erect and booms out, "I am Joseph Snow, pastor of Saint Mary's for the last forty-three years."
Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the minister, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."
"Just a minute," says the minister. "That Judo man gets a silken robe and golden staff. How can this be when I have been preaching the gospel all my life?"
"Up here, we work by results," says Saint Peter. "While you preached, people slept; but when he entered the dojo, people prayed."
My husband and I both started our Judo a little over a year ago at 40 and 41 respectively. Our first Sunday after our first Saturday neither of us could walk except for a slow, painful shuffle. We dropped into a department store to buy heat rub and both stood in the pharmacy staring down at the tube on the bottom shelf, debating how badly we needed it since bending down to retrieve it was surely going to be a killer.
"I'll flip you for it," announced my husband.
"That's what caused this problem in the first place," I answered.
There is more but I only posted my favorite 3, cause they're kinda lengthy hope you liked them! =]
One Day the Devil challenged the Lord to a Judo tournament. Smiling the Lord proclaimed, "You don't have a chance, I have Kano, Mifune, Kotani, Kimura and all the greatest players up here".
"Yes", snickered the Devil, "but I have all the referees."
A minister dies and is waiting in line at the Pearly Gates. Ahead of him is a big guy in a judogi with a worn black belt who has cauliflower ears and looks like he's been around the block a few times.
Saint Peter addresses this guy, "Who are you, so that I may know whether or not to admit you to the Kingdom of Heaven?"
The guy replies, "I'm Joe Johnson, Judo competitor and national champion for 17 years."
Saint Peter consults his list. He smiles and says to the Judo competitor, "Take this silken robe and golden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."
The Judo man goes into Heaven with his robe and staff, and it's the minister's turn. He stands erect and booms out, "I am Joseph Snow, pastor of Saint Mary's for the last forty-three years."
Saint Peter consults his list. He says to the minister, "Take this cotton robe and wooden staff and enter the Kingdom of Heaven."
"Just a minute," says the minister. "That Judo man gets a silken robe and golden staff. How can this be when I have been preaching the gospel all my life?"
"Up here, we work by results," says Saint Peter. "While you preached, people slept; but when he entered the dojo, people prayed."
My husband and I both started our Judo a little over a year ago at 40 and 41 respectively. Our first Sunday after our first Saturday neither of us could walk except for a slow, painful shuffle. We dropped into a department store to buy heat rub and both stood in the pharmacy staring down at the tube on the bottom shelf, debating how badly we needed it since bending down to retrieve it was surely going to be a killer.
"I'll flip you for it," announced my husband.
"That's what caused this problem in the first place," I answered.
There is more but I only posted my favorite 3, cause they're kinda lengthy hope you liked them! =]
