My name is Bob, and I am Canadian.
I was born in 1972, yet I am responsible for every problem in this country since the 1800's.
I pay import tax on cars made in Ontario.
I am allowed to skydive and smoke, but I am not allowed to drive without a seat belt.
All the money I make up until mid July must go to paying taxes.
I live and work among people who believe Americans are ignorant. These same people cannot name this country's new territory.
Although I am sometimes forced to live on Kraft dinner and don't have a pot to piss in, I sleep well knowing that my military can't afford the equipment to protect me, either.
Although they are unpatriotic and constantly try to separate, Quebec still provides my nation's prime ministers.
95% of my nation's international conflicts are over fish.
I believe that paying a 200% tax on alcohol is fair.
I believe that the same tax on gasoline is also fair.
Even if I have no idea what happened to that old rifle my grandfather gave me when I was 14, I will be considered a criminal if I don't register it.
I often badmouth the United States and then vacation there three times a year.
I believe spending $15 billion to promote the French language in the rest of Canada is fair when the province of Quebec doesn't support or recognize the English language.
I'm supposed to believe that paying $288,200 to the Prime Minister so he can continue to ruin this country after losing an important vote in Parliament is fair, and paying $10 an hour to someone who works 12 hour shifts at forty below on an oil rig is fair.
I believe that paying $30 million for 3 Stripes ("The Voice of Fire") by the National Art Gallery was a good purchase, even though 99% of this country didn't want it or will ever see it.
When I look at my pay stub and realize that I take home a third of what I actually make, I say "Oh well, at least we have better health care than the Americans." Then I wait a week to see my doctor about these tension headaches...
I must bail out farmers when their crops are too wet or too dry because I control the rain.
My national anthem has versions in both official languages and I don't know either of them.
Canada is the highest taxed nation in North America, the biggest military buffer for the United States, and the number one destination for fleeing terrorists.
I am not an angry white male. I am an angry taxpayer who is broke.
My name is Bob, and I am Canadian.
I was born in 1972, yet I am responsible for every problem in this country since the 1800's.
I pay import tax on cars made in Ontario.
I am allowed to skydive and smoke, but I am not allowed to drive without a seat belt.
All the money I make up until mid July must go to paying taxes.
I live and work among people who believe Americans are ignorant. These same people cannot name this country's new territory.
Although I am sometimes forced to live on Kraft dinner and don't have a pot to piss in, I sleep well knowing that my military can't afford the equipment to protect me, either.
Although they are unpatriotic and constantly try to separate, Quebec still provides my nation's prime ministers.
95% of my nation's international conflicts are over fish.
I believe that paying a 200% tax on alcohol is fair.
I believe that the same tax on gasoline is also fair.
Even if I have no idea what happened to that old rifle my grandfather gave me when I was 14, I will be considered a criminal if I don't register it.
I often badmouth the United States and then vacation there three times a year.
I believe spending $15 billion to promote the French language in the rest of Canada is fair when the province of Quebec doesn't support or recognize the English language.
I'm supposed to believe that paying $288,200 to the Prime Minister so he can continue to ruin this country after losing an important vote in Parliament is fair, and paying $10 an hour to someone who works 12 hour shifts at forty below on an oil rig is fair.
I believe that paying $30 million for 3 Stripes ("The Voice of Fire") by the National Art Gallery was a good purchase, even though 99% of this country didn't want it or will ever see it.
When I look at my pay stub and realize that I take home a third of what I actually make, I say "Oh well, at least we have better health care than the Americans." Then I wait a week to see my doctor about these tension headaches...
I must bail out farmers when their crops are too wet or too dry because I control the rain.
My national anthem has versions in both official languages and I don't know either of them.
Canada is the highest taxed nation in North America, the biggest military buffer for the United States, and the number one destination for fleeing terrorists.
I am not an angry white male. I am an angry taxpayer who is broke.
My name is Bob, and I am Canadian.
