from a email I recieved

tshadowchaser

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WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR
REPUBLICAN GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?


My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of Iraq regime has been completed.

Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in
Iraq is complete.

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from
Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now to begin the reckoning.

Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have
stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short. The United Kingdom,
Spain, Bulgaria, Australia, and Poland are some of the countries listed there.

The other list contains everyone not on the first list. Most of the world's nations
are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later
this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on
List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year
alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hell-holes
and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France.

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward
solving the vexing social problems we still have at home. On that note, a word to
terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you
and all your friends from the face of the earth.

Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France, or maybe China.

I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, Germany,
and Russia. Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well.
Bon chance, mes amis.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic
vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites
where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about
whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid
tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos
be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be
seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for
a change.

Mexico is also on List 2. President Fox and his entire corrupt government really
need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra tank and infantry divisions
sitting around. Guess where I am going to put em? Yep, border security. So start
doing something with your oil.

Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now.


We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in
Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If
you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above:
pick a country and move there. They care.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will
accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin."
Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has
only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time
to eliminate hunger in America. It is time to eliminate homelessness in America. It
is time to eliminate World Cup Soccer from America. To the nations on List 1, a
final thought. Thanks guys. We owe you and we won't forget. To the nations on List
2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic. God bless America.
Thank you and good night. If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading
it in English, thank a soldier.
 
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tshadowchaser

tshadowchaser

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now to our fellow mt members in canada i ment no offence by that post i do love your country amd those up there that i have met have been great people its just the way I got the email thats all
 

Sapper6

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very nice. however, i doubt any American has the nuts to say that to the world. sure it's the way we as a "majority" feel, but elected officials don't speak for us...they speak for agenda, and we are not included in that agenda.
 

michaeledward

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I do not think it would be great to hear any politician speak this way.

There are 6 billion people on the planet ... perhaps 500 million of them in the countries on List 1.

Does the name Custer mean anything ?
 

bydand

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Sapper6 said:
very nice. however, i doubt any American has the nuts to say that to the world. sure it's the way we as a "majority" feel, but elected officials don't speak for us...they speak for agenda, and we are not included in that agenda.

That is because it would take somebody with real stones to say that, and if you are in politics, those are lacking from what I have seen.
 

Sapper6

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michaeledward said:
I do not think it would be great to hear any politician speak this way.

There are 6 billion people on the planet ... perhaps 500 million of them in the countries on List 1.

Does the name Custer mean anything ?

perhaps you could enlighten us all on your indisputable wisdom? i'd love to hear what you have to say. always an entertaining read.
 

Bob Hubbard

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I've seen this credited to Carlin, Williams, and a half dozen others.

personally, I agree with about 85% of it. :)
 

michaeledward

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Sapper6 said:
perhaps you could enlighten us all on your indisputable wisdom? i'd love to hear what you have to say. always an entertaining read.

Well, I hope your sarcasm enjoys this ... written quickly, and edited little ...


My fellow Americans, the time has come to recognize that many of the addages we learned in our youth are true. Maybe old wives tales hold a special place in human society because old wives gain special wisdom from the errors of their husbands, many of whom die needless deaths in war.

Five years ago, 19 young men from the Middle East executed a sucker punch against the Western World generally, and American might specifically. Those of you who study pugalistic forms know, and those of us who have not, from this attack we have learned, there is no defense for a sucker punch. You can be aware of the dangers around you, but you can't defend against something that you can't see.

An amazing thing took place during the September 11 attacks. As the first three strikes of these cowardly, cheap shots landed, to tragic and devistating effect, we saw courageous citizens become aware of the sucker punch, and mount an effective defense against it.

Is there any person in the world who will attempt to hijack an airplane again? No longer will passengers on an highjacked aircraft believe they are hostages to be used for negotiations. This terroristic tactic has been rendered impotent by the events of September 11.

Our fellow citizens rapidly recovered from the horrific effects of September 11. Our government has not recovered quiet so easily. The governement, as usual, has over-reacted in every way possible. Domestically, we have taken many small independent agencies and combined them under a new cabinent level Department of Homeland Security. We have cut their budgets, cut their training, cut their equipment, and cut their personnel. We have eliminated the effectiveness of the Federal Emergency Management Agency, as witnessed during hurricane season last year. We have castrated the Coast Guard, weakening our Port Security, as brought to light during the recent PortsWorld deal. And there is no bigger discussion domestically today, than border security. Our border patrol has watched millions of people cross the Southern Border of our country. I say watched, because whomever it is they are stopping, some 12 million persons have successfully crossed the border and are now using the Free Market ideology to drive down wages for working class Americans.
We in government, reacting unreasonably to September 11, have also crafted a brand new beaurocracy that is disrupting Americans lives every day. Is there any traveller in America that feels the Transportation Security Administration is securing anything on the airplane on which they are travelling? Richard Reid will laugh each and every day of his life, from his prison cell, that your grandmother has to remove her shoes to get on a plane.

My pledge today is to undue the harm we have created domestically. We will immediately move to disolve the Transportation Safety Administration. We will establish guidelines for airport screening, but responsibility will move back to the airport. We will eliminate subsidies directed to the airlines. There was a time when the federal government provided needed aid to the airlines after the attacks, but that time has passed.
Competition will drive some airlines out of business. That is the circle of life. The Justice Department's anti-trust division will be directed to make mergers difficult and costly for all parties. This will ensure competition benefits the consumer.

We will move to dissolve the Department of Homeland Security. We will ensure that the organizations that make up the DHS are properly funded and appropriate. Some agencies may be disolved. FEMA and the Coast Guard will not be dissolved. They will be adequately funded and managed.
I will request that the nominated director of FEMA must be approved by a committee in the House of Representatives, to ensure that no more incompetent, untrained cronies get into this important leadership position.
To correct the current immigration issues, I am proposing a simple solution. We will move our current border control agents into the Social Security Adminstration and to OSHA. There will be no more references to illegal immigrants. Any person on the planet that wishes to come to America is Welcome. "Give us your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to be free" is the inscription at that base of the Statue of Liberty. It is an important sentiment that we have forgotten, as we have exaggerated the symbolism of that icon. All we ask is that any immigrant coming to this country register with the SSA. They will be issued a Green Card, making them eligable to exchange an honest days labor, for an honest days wage. Employers who hire workers off the books will be sought out and fined. Workers who are subjected to poor working conditions will be encouraged to report abuses to OSHA. Our justice department will again provide justice to the workers that made this country great.

We have also made a mess in the world. It is long past time to pick up after ourselves.

When we authorized the use of a minute percentage of the United States military to work with the militias in Afghanistan to remove the Taliban, we began the process of giving away the good will of the world we recieved after September 11th. By using the military's best technology to empower a group of gangland thugs in Afghanistan, we have given that country back to the heroin trade. Our appointed puppet, Mr. Karzai is secure in his bunker in Kabul. But outside of that small area, the warlords, again, have control. Funded by the opium trade. We did a half-assed job, where we had the authority and ample ability.

We then turned our military attention to Iraq. Where "Everyone" knew, they had weapons of mass destruction. Everyone, except people like Scott Ritter - one of the military's inspectors, - and Muhammed El Baradai, the head of the International Atomic Energy Agency from the United Nations.

The People of Iraq have now cried "uncle". They want us to leave. They want us to stop rebuilding their cities. They want to stop rebuilding their schools, their waste water treatment plants, their electric production facilities. We have proved how incompetent we are. They want us to stop flying AC-130 gunships over their houses. They want us to stop shooting at cars rushing to hospitals. There are many in Iraq that wish for the leadership of Saddam Hussien. He was a bastard, and he was oppressive. But with him in power, they had more electricity, more power and more stability.

We have spent more than five billion dollars a month in Iraq for the past three years. And the results prove, once and for all, throwing money at a problem does not always solve the problem, even when it does enrich the Vice President.

I announce today, that the United States military will begin redeploying from Iraq, where we have no business, to Afghanistan, where our puppet Karzai needs us. That our incompetent Secretary of Defense has not properly war-gamed for Afghanistan (as he had for Iraq) is no reason to redirect our forces to where they don't belong. Our military will secure all of the territory of Aghanistan. The warlords will be disarmed or killed.
Incursions by Taliban hiding in the Pashtun mountains will result in the most aggressive military action. All options, including nuclear strikes, are on the table. Any of al Qaeda hiding in those mountains, will soon find themselves living in the largest parking lot on the face of the earth. The differences between leveling houses in Iraq, and mountains in Afghanistan is just a matter of degree. And I pledge today to turn up the heat.
Once Afghanistan has stablized and established laws. We will leave. During our time there, our soldiers will bivouac in tents. There will not be any appearance of permanent bases.

We will also take action to ensure the United States military never again feels the need to invade a sovereign nation that did not attack United States territory. We will slash the United States military budget. We no longer need to spend as much on the military as all of the other nations on the planet combined. We will reduce the budget by 50% in the coming year, and 50% of that in the next year. This will give us a military budget of over 100 Billion dollars a year. Still far more than the next largest nation on the planet.

Weapons in outer space are out of the budget. New stealth fighter planes are out of the budget. Helicopters that can't take off or land without killing United States Marines are out of the budget. Missile defense, which still hasn't shown any possiblity of working, is out of the budget.
We will train our soldiers to shoot bullets at bad people. We will also train them to cook dinners, so we can stop subletting that work to Haliburton. We will train our soldiers to drive trucks, so we can stop subletting that work to Kellogg Brown and Root. We will increase the number of active duty service members, by increasing their pay, and their health care benefits to reasonable levels. We will reduce the size of the National Guard. We will stop calling on the National Guard to fight in foreign lands. Our regular army will be used overseas. The National Guard will be used, at times of war, for the National Defense. They may also be called upon by governors around the country in times of emergency (illegal border crossing are not, ever, an emergency Arnie).

Never before in the history of the country has the federal government cut taxes while waging a war. Were it not for our first, and most important international relationship, lack of funding for the American Revolution would have cripped, and perhaps killed a new nation, before it was able to establish itself. To this day, we owe a debt of gratitude to the people of France. Even thought it has been more than two centuries since they relieved us of that debt. And let's not forget, that the Louisiana Purchase took place from the French. The bonds between our two nations are deep, and have suffered recently. By changing the attitudes of an Arrogant America, perhaps, we can repair the wounds we have inflicted on that, and other relationships.

We will replenish the federal deficit created by our foolish policies by eliminating the tax cuts enacted from 2000 forward. We will push for a windfall profits tax on energy companies. Once we have eliminated the deficit, we may be able to restore some cuts for the working class Americans by virture of smaller government and smaller less military expenses described above.

There are many more steps we need to take to restore our nation to the 'beacon of liberty' we all believe we should be; so aptly represented by a French gift in New York harbor.

But, for today, we pledge to once again, "Walk Softly". We shall put away our unilateral ways. We will stop bullying other nations with our financial and military power.




 
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tshadowchaser

tshadowchaser

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While i may not agree to all of that post their are many good points in it
 

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