Feeling terrible after my test

[Faye]

Hi all-

I just finished testing for my green belt, and I felt really terrible. After we did our second form, the judges were whispering to the "examiner", and he then told us if we feel that we had made a mistake on that form, to come out and do it again, this is an opportunity for us to fix that mistake. I freaked out, because I know he was starring at me. But no one went out, I was afraid because i didn't realize that i did something wrong, and he really scared me. What if i went out and because of pressure, did it wrong again?!! THinking back, i shoudl've goneout and do it over again, but at that time, I froze. No body went out, and he mentioned that it was a bad bad mistake.

Because of that, the rest of the test, I was under alot of pressure, thinking that I messed up the form, i felt really bad.

After sparring, again,the judges whipser to each other, and decided to have all of us do that form again. I swear, I thought I was going to die. I cannot imagine how much pressure that was. We all did it again, the whole time, I fear that I would make a mistake (I"m sure i did again..), and then finally the "exmaimer said", better.

And the judges kept commenting how important it is for us to know all the forms, the basic ones.. it went on and on. I understand that, but I was really afraid that I fail that test.

I won't find out until tonight, but it certainly was not fun.

Just want to share.

 

[bignick]

good luck...don't worry to much...

do you know for sure you made a mistake?

 

[Sarah]

I know the feeling....our instructor and testing panel like to play with our minds and freak us out on purpose.

Is it possible you didn’t make a mistake and they just wanted to see who was brave enough to step out and do it again. If we make mistakes in patterns we have to stop and step to the side until it is finished and them go to the front of the room and do it again, very intimadating.

Even if you did make a minor mistake in your patterns I’m sure that would not be ground's to fail you at this level.

Think positive about all the good things you did. If you are really concerned can you talk to your instructor about how he thinks you did??

 

[TX_BB]

Many times instructors just mess with you testing your mental toughness. As long as you leave it all on the floor you'll be OK. No regrets. If you looking for other testing stories, I'll bet there are some good ones out there.

 

[Faye]

I honestly didn't think i made a mistake, but I talked to one of my instructors afterwards, he said that he didn't see me made a mistake, but he heard the other judges talked about it, and he really can't say anything more. I felt horrible.

If i knew that i made a mistake, I will go out and do it again. What i was afraidof was, i didn't even realize what mistake i made!!

 

[TigerWoman]

Hi Faye,
I don't think that is a good way to test you all. I wouldn't be surprised if everyone started having doubts and in losing confidence, make more mistakes.

We usually just have you do your forms over again by yourself if you are the one that needs to get it right. The others are dismissed to stand by the wall.

For our forms, if they are not done correctly, correct block, step, kick etc. and after 4-5 tries, you still fail to correct it, you would be failed until the next month. No big deal, it just means you weren't ready to test. I doubt your instructor would have sent you in the first place though, if you couldn't get through the form the way I described. I have seen our master make students do it over and over any way if not enough power is shown either.

But by having all the students up there doing the forms together, it saves face and further tension supposedly for the erring student. But by telling everyone that they made a mistake, everyone freaked out, not good. Not the way to handle it IMO.

Don't sweat it, you probably did fine, if you don't feel you made a mistake.
TW

 

[Miles]

Faye,

If you were well-prepared for the test and performed the test to the best of your ability, then why are you feeling terrible?

It was just a test. Nothing more. If you fail, you take it again.

In life, as well as martial arts, I have always learned more from my mistakes than my triumphs. I am sure that this is not unique to me....

Take Care,

Miles

 

[bluespacething]

You shouldn't feel horrible if you didn't know that you had made a mistake. It might have been something little that you didn't even realize you were doing wrong. I know when I'm doing my patterns I sometimes don't realize I have made a mistake until someone explicitly tells me I have.

I wouldn't feel too bad. You did your best and that's all you can do. I'm sure if you knew that you made a mistake you would have gone out, but you didn't.

 

[terryl965]

Remember a test is just a test if you mess up so what we are human we do make mistake all one can do if there was a mistake learn from it and go on. GOD BLESS AMERICA

 

[Faye]

Alright, I did pass my test, the person who messed up the form wasn't me, I confirmed it. *whew*

Lots more of these scary tests to go!!

Thanks for all your support!

 

[Melissa426]

:asian: CONGRATS !!

I have same issues you have with knowing if I am doing something wrong and the whispering,etc, etc. It makes me extremely uncomfortable.

As someone told me on another message board, I am trying to remember "Relax and have fun!" It's not brain surgery.

Our lead student pulls the same kind of stunts when our main instructor can't teach class,for whatever reason.
He'll ask "who thinks they need work on their forms?" or "Who thinks they need to work on flexibility" I'll pick what I think I need to work on, then after that session is over, he'll say something in front of the class to me like "why were you doing forms, as a beginner who is basically out of shape, you should be working on flexibility."

My response is "Thank you , sir."

What I am thinking is "Why the **** didn't you just say that? I am a beginner, I don't know how you expect me to know what I need to work on. I am not a mind reader, either."


Peace,
Melissa

 

[glad2bhere]

Dear Melissa:

"......What I am thinking is "Why the **** didn't you just say that? I am a beginner, I don't know how you expect me to know what I need to work on. I am not a mind reader, either." ....."

I think you are allowed some latitude with your response but it will help to know that as a person watching you from outside you are giving way too much power to your teacher regarding your progress in the KMA.

The question is NOT what your teacher expects of you but of what you expect of yourself.

If you treat your training as though its something that you do to please your teacher your satisfactin will always depend on your teachers' approval. Think about this.

If you had no teacher to perform for would you still workout each day?

If noone was around would you still train just because you love the feel of what you are doing? Or are you doing what you do because of some reason you need to keep alive in your head. Could you have simply walked into your test that day as though it were another day of training or did you have to specifically train for that test like some special occasion? You may want to think about your training differently. Why not see EVERY DAY that you go to class as a TEST DAY for your next rank? Thoughts?

Best Wishes,

Bruce

 

[KenpoGirl]

Congradulations Faye, sounds like it was a pretty intense tests. Good for you for holding it together and getting through it.

Dot
:asian:

 

[Melissa426]

The question is NOT what your teacher expects of you but of what you expect of yourself.

If you treat your training as though its something that you do to please your teacher your satisfactin will always depend on your teachers' approval. Think about this.

If you had no teacher to perform for would you still workout each day?

If noone was around would you still train just because you love the feel of what you are doing? Or are you doing what you do because of some reason you need to keep alive in your head. Could you have simply walked into your test that day as though it were another day of training or did you have to specifically train for that test like some special occasion? You may want to think about your training differently. Why not see EVERY DAY that you go to class as a TEST DAY for your next rank? Thoughts?

Best Wishes,

Bruce

Do you ask a first grader whether he he thinks he needs to practice spelling or reading, and then tell him after he reads his book tell him, "Johnny you guessed wrong, it is really your spelling that you should have worked on today."

I may be an adult student, but my skills and knowledge are at the Pee-wee level. I expect my instructors to do just that... instruct!

I have tested twice. Both times, I knew that my forms were as good as I could do them at my level. Since my instructor is the one who determines when I am ready to test, then how I do at testing reflects on him. Therefore I do try to please him, for I don't want the Grandmaster to feel my instructor is doing a bad job of teaching me. Does that make sense?

I like your comment about training as if I were testing. I try to do that but to be honest, I am not always successful at it.

Peace,
Melissa

 

[Flatlander]

Congratulations, Faye, but I am not surprised that you passed.

Team Martial Talk ALWAYS wins.

:CTF:

 

[Faye]

I have to agree with Melissa, us lower belts, sometimes, we don't really know what we are suppose to do. Perhaps the instructor can ask them, what they think they need help in, but before he actuallly do it, explain to them why the other choice would be more reasonable.

We did have 3 blue belts that failed the test... I know how that feels.... Unfortunately, I did not get to see them test (I made it on time to watch the black belt test).

For some of you who tested many times, what were the reasons why they failed students? I think my instructor said that they didn't try or train hard enough.

 

[glad2bhere]

"......I like your comment about training as if I were testing. I try to do that but to be honest, I am not always successful at it....."

Good deal because thats really where I was wanting to put the emphasis. Certainly we all have human impulses and drives in the end, though, its what you want out of it. There was a time when I was pretty nervous about testing but in time I became so motivated that I was a whole lot harder on myself than any test. FWIW.

Best Wishes,

Bruce

 

[TigerWoman]

Congrats Faye, I'm not surprised either that you passed.

In our school people that don' t pass are for varied reasons. Usually form is not the reason unless you go to test without the instructor's permission.
Some have done that and most do not pass. So if you are encouraged to test in our school, the test is but a formality because you have already passed the "test" in front of the instructor's eyes - the master actually who tests everyone. Sometimes the breaks make people stop trying and so the test is not passed. But for the most part, those that are okayed to test, do pass the test or are given more time to do the missing, or wrong part over.

Anyone who goes to train should train with their entire heart and being---to the best of their ability. Of course, all of us have good days and bad days, though, depending on whether it being a cold which makes breathing more difficult, inner ear fluid buildup which makes balance off, a hurting hamstring or just stressed out on other matters of life. Alot can affect your performance, no matter how hard you try to focus or block it out. All we can do is train hard and try to do our best. After all, we are human. TW

 

[Flamebearer]

So if you are encouraged to test in our school, the test is but a formality because you have already passed the "test" in front of the instructor's eyes - the master actually who tests everyone.

Ditto that!
Congrats, Faye. Yeah, it can be really freaky thinking you've missed something and have no idea what it was.:idunno: I sympathize.

Train with everything you've got and remember, if it's not wrong, don't fix it.

-Flamebearer

 

[bluespacething]

Congrats on passing Faye. See...there wasn't anything to worry about.