Dojo/Dojang Archetypes

[dancingalone]

This really could have gone in the karate forum just as well, but the TKD forum gets the most action.

What are some of the dojang student or instructor archetypes that you have run across? Any funny or amusing stories associated with them?

Here's one to illustrate my question.

The Enforcer

Generally a senior student who has a loud voice. He has studied long enough and is sufficiently proficient enough to where even the intermediate students will pause when he says something. Every teacher needs at least one of these so Sensei or Sa Bom doesn't have to handle all the discipline issues every time on the floor.

Good enforcers know when to use their bark... and their bite. They know when to knock the cocky brown belt down a notch or two.

==========


My teacher's senior student was an enforcer type. My sempai is built like a tree and is very powerful and can take a lot of damage. Given our sparring rules (continuous, grabs and take downs permitted), he was pretty much unbeatable, and everyone knew it. He delighted in his role as Sensei's stand in during belt exams, and he would pop you a few times to keep things interesting.

One of the best days of my life came when I was able to sweep him off his feet when we were entangled, clutching at each other's shoulders and collars. He went crashing down, and I knelt down to punch him in the side with a scoring shot when Sensei called 'Break!'. When we got up to bow to each other, Sempai nodded his head in acknowledgement to me. I had finally 'got' him.

 

[Tez3]

The one who knows better than the instructor! After being shown a technique and told to get into pairs to drill said technique he proceeds to 'instruct' his poor partner on how to really do this move. Also when sparring will proceed to shout instructions to anyone he thinks needs his expertise which of course is never any good! Our example last night after being shown a grappling move told our instructor that of course if someone did that to him he'd 'do this' to get out of it, oh aye says our instructor let's have a look. Our example has a very sore shoulder now and no he didn't get out of it. Oh dear, how sad , never mind. This guy drives me mad, he changes every move he's shown which rarely works and I find him hugely disrespectful to our instructor but I've also met his ilk in other styles and classes I've been in.

 

[granfire]

Not a student but The Parent

Has just moved and is enlightening everybody with what is wrong in current Dojang.
The sparring is too lax, the discipline soso, the gear all wrong/too expensive...
Can do real damage if left alone with other parents who have not been with the program very long and are still learning the ropes themselves.

Fun to watch when its pointed out to him that his information is indeed wrong.


The Cocky Student

In dire need of above mentioned Senpai beat down:
Thinks that the rules apply to others, his abilities are greater in his mind than in reality. Not obviously rude, but pretty close. major irritant.

 

[dancingalone]

The Comet (other name: a 'Haley' [sic])

This is a new student who may or may not have prior experience. He will join the dojo and be bursting with enthusiasm, coming to every class and function available. He'll inquire about the opportunities for lessons or training with other students outside of class. This will continue for 1-2 months. The teacher will be generally pleased with the Comet's progress and enthusiasm since he usually will have some talent.

Unfortunately, after the initial period, the Comet will fade away, usually without a word, and you'll never see him again.

 

[ATC]

The one who knows better than the instructor! After being shown a technique and told to get into pairs to drill said technique he proceeds to 'instruct' his poor partner on how to really do this move. Also when sparring will proceed to shout instructions to anyone he thinks needs his expertise which of course is never any good! Our example last night after being shown a grappling move told our instructor that of course if someone did that to him he'd 'do this' to get out of it, oh aye says our instructor let's have a look. Our example has a very sore shoulder now and no he didn't get out of it. Oh dear, how sad , never mind. This guy drives me mad, he changes every move he's shown which rarely works and I find him hugely disrespectful to our instructor but I've also met his ilk in other styles and classes I've been in.

Well we will just call this one "The Example".

 

[CrimsonPhoenix]

"The Powerhouse"
also known as The Bull in a China Shop.

Believes that power is better than speed, snap, form, and. . . anything really. The Powerhouse will barrel his (in most cases The Powerhouse is a male) way through forms and drills, leaving him red-faced and bent over gasping for air by the end of them. During sparring, control is a major issue for The Powerhouse who only has one setting - charge in and hit hard. In many cases, this is due to inexperience, though it isn't always the case. The most likely student to be a Powerhouse is generally a green belt (7th gup or so) who hasn't taken a chill pill and learned to relax yet.

 

[ralphmcpherson]

I cant think of a relevant name for this type of student but feel free to come up with one. Over the years I have seen a few students waltz in the door for their first lesson and their first question is "how long does it take to get a black belt?". They train their *** off for several years gradually moving up in rank and occasionally even getting top points at gradings. Then finally, after years of blood, sweat and tears they get to grade for their coveted black belt. They ace the test, receive their black belt and then no one ever sees or hears of them ever again. How someone can commit to something for that long just to say " I have a black belt" is something I will never understand.

 

[ATC]

I cant think of a relevant name for this type of student but feel free to come up with one. Over the years I have seen a few students waltz in the door for their first lesson and their first question is "how long does it take to get a black belt?". They train their *** off for several years gradually moving up in rank and occasionally even getting top points at gradings. Then finally, after years of blood, sweat and tears they get to grade for their coveted black belt. They ace the test, receive their black belt and then no one ever sees or hears of them ever again. How someone can commit to something for that long just to say " I have a black belt" is something I will never understand.

Hhmmm...this is a hard one to name. Maybe the "The Jack of the trade", because they get good enough to know something but never becomes the expert or Master.

 

[ralphmcpherson]

Hhmmm...this is a hard one to name. Maybe the "The Jack of the trade", because they get good enough to know something but never becomes the expert or Master.

we always joke that they have some sort of 'playboy' checklist. Red sportscar...check, blonde girlfriend with fake boobs....check, beach front unit...check, scuba diving liscence...check, black belt in a matial art.....check.

 

[Bruno@MT]

The Leisure student
Comes and goes whenever he feels like training or not. Seems to enjoy training but not enough to actually commit to it and show up reliably.

The Invisible man
Pays his dues on time, is in order with the paperwork, shows up for events and annual meeting, buys the club jacket... but for whatever reason never actually shows up during class.

 

[Tez3]

The 'Bloomer' (can't think of another name but this one is a joy to have.)

Starts as a hestitant/shy/apopogetic student low on confidence but works hard, listens carefully though doesn't want to be a nuisance in asking for help, gradually gains confidence, knowledge and the joy on their faces at a succesful grading is wonderful. The first time you put them with a beginner and they confidently and patiently help them out is another brilliant moment. If it's a child and their parents comes in saying they have been doing well at schoolor done something they wouldn't have done before but can now because of their martial arts training you feel like crying with pride. Seeing an adult student really take part in the calss with confidence and performing say a kata or technique on their own to demo it is fantastic. If you are a club/school that competes watching them compete confidently and ably is a huge thing, whether they win a trophy or not they surely have won a huge prize! Watching them truly bloom is a rare reward but oh when it happens, it's a moment to remember forever.

 

[ATC]

The Cocky Student

In dire need of above mentioned Senpai beat down:
Thinks that the rules apply to others, his abilities are greater in his mind than in reality. Not obviously rude, but pretty close. major irritant.

Let's call this one "The Irritant". He can be defined as the cocky student...

 

[ATC]

Keeping it all neat and tidy, the list is as follows so far.

The Enforcer
The Example
The Parent Trap (not really as student and we can start a new list asking what type of parent are you).
The Comet
The Powerhouse (or The Bull)
The Jack (or The Playboy)
The Leisure One
The Invisible One
The Bloomer (no not the underwear)
The Irritant

Pretty good list so far. Keep'em coming. I can thing of a couple more but want to see what others have noticed. Once the list is complete and we think there are no more, someone should make the list into a poll. Then we all need to pick which one we think we are. Should be fun.

 

[terryl965]

The Scholar the one that knows everything and can never learn anything because their I.Q. is soo much higher than yours.

 

[dancingalone]

The Toxic Avenger aka Mr. Nasty. He (usually a male, but I've seen women too fit this category, albeit rarely) suffers from personal hygiene issues. If you are lucky, it's just simple halitosis in which case only his paired partner for the day hit the lottery. The funkier Toxic Avengers might have smelly uniforms or sour sparring gear or they might just simply need a bath. Toxic Avengers are usually oblivious to their stench, although everyone else can see them coming a mile away like Pigpen from the Peanuts.

The Samurai Wannabe usually isn't too obnoxious unless he is an extreme one. He is the guy who is fixated on Nipponese culture (substitute Korean and Hwarang Warrior as needed) and obviously wishes he had been born several hundred years earlier in an Eastern country, hopefully as someone of the warrior profession. The Samurai Wannabe will correct you on your pronunciation of a Japanese word, being right only half the time. He knows obscure facts about the Tokugawa Shogunate and will soak up valuable training time pontificating about it to a mostly bored class. The best way to get rid of the Samurai Wannabe is to point out to him that karate is actually a 'peasant' fighting system. More times than not, this will force him to gravitate to kendo or iaido or aikido as his next art.

 

[Cirdan]

The Abitious Scumbag this guy wants to be head of the Dojo or at least second in command. He is convinced of the style`s superiority and wants to run the place as an exclusive club or cult. Usually not too skilled but loves to "evaluate" higher ranked people. Often form a gang within the club or an internet group which you won`t be allowed in unless you are "serious" enough. If you share the place with another club he is sure to piss them off somehow. Full of tough talk and is a very bad uke since he is concerned with looking good and superior. Unfortunately this person often manages to get into a position with some power and creates a lot of trouble.

The Talkative Guru usually an older instructor, this person will often go into lengthy explanations on the facts of life. Especially just before bowing out a twenty minute speech about the weather, the news, family relations, or the general state of the world seem to be just what we need. Even a simple technical correction during class can derail into a deep philosophical study. On the other hand the talkative gurus are often very experienced and competent instructors especially when it comes to details. Powerhouses/Bulls hate the Guru`s lengthy speeches.

The Mediocre Enthusiast this guy is all excited about training but isn`t too serious about it. Doesn`t like training to be too hard or too technical. Often has kids who also train. Will show up regularly but miss lessons because he needs to catch some show or football match on tv. Loves the social bit and will show up for any pizza evening, bbq etc. Got the club jacked, bag, caps and every patch that he can put on his gi. Usually last a year or so before the interest starts to wane and is gone in two. A very few suddenly "get it" and develop real interest for the art.

 

[ralphmcpherson]

CAPTAIN NEGATIVE - captain negative will tell anyone who will listen how all other forms of martial arts other than their own are of no value whatsoever. They will also tell you that any other club that teaches their art is also of no value. Ironically though, they will tell you over and over about how their club they instruct at is no longer as good as it was "back in the day" and how their superiors have slowly let the club lose credibility and are to blame for all the clubs many shortcomings. Basically "captain negative" has nothing positive to say about anything to do with martial arts. Funnily enough, they are usually very highly ranked and have been training for 30 years or more. They will usually repeatedly tell you how much better everything was "back in the day".

 

[ralphmcpherson]

THE INJURY FAKER - the injury faker is completely injury free and full of energy when there are only lower belts to spar, but can very quickly "do a knee" or "stuff an ankle" at even the mere chance of a higher ranked student joining in the sparring. The injury faker can easily be picked out at gradings as they almost always have visible strapping on a body part so they unfortunately cant participate in the sparring but they will usually take pride of place sitting with all the other black belts up the front of the room.

 

[shaunkwondo]

I cant think of a relevant name for this type of student but feel free to come up with one. Over the years I have seen a few students waltz in the door for their first lesson and their first question is "how long does it take to get a black belt?". They train their *** off for several years gradually moving up in rank and occasionally even getting top points at gradings. Then finally, after years of blood, sweat and tears they get to grade for their coveted black belt. They ace the test, receive their black belt and then no one ever sees or hears of them ever again. How someone can commit to something for that long just to say " I have a black belt" is something I will never understand.

Let's call this student, The Magician (for his/her disappearing act).

 

[shaunkwondo]

The Cowardly Lion

This student has a very big roar but almost no heart. He or she will be the first to spar against a lesser opponent, beit age, rank, or skill; thrash them then actually feel good about it. However, when challenged by someone with greater skill, he or she quickly backs down or fakes an injury.

Gotta love 'em!