cop joke

[Flatlander]

A policeman pulls a car over for speeding, and the officer walks up to the driver's window.
"May I see your driver's license please, sir."
"Actually officer, its been suspended since my DUI"
"Really. May I see the registration, please."
"Actually officer, the car is stolen, so I don't have that either."
"Oh?"
"Yeah, uh, when I put my gun in the glove box, I noticed the registration wasn't in there."
"You have a gun in the glove box sir?'
"Yes, when I stole the car, I shot the owner with it."
"You shot the owner?"
"Yes sir, he's dead. I put him in the trunk."

Well, at this point the officer calls for backup, and quite soon, many police cars converge on the scene with lights flashing. The supervisor gets a quick debrief from the officer on scene, and proceeds to the driver's window.

"May I have your license sir?" The driver hands him his valid driver's license. "May I see the registration please?" The driver hands him the valid registration. "What's in the glove box sir?" The driver opens the glove box, and, its empty.

"May I have a look in the trunk sir?" The driver gets out of the car and pops the trunk. Its empty.

"Waht the hell is going on here?" exclaims the seargent. "This officer told me that you've been driving without a license in a car which you had stolen from someone that you killed and put in the trunk!"

"What!!??" exclaims the driver. "That lying, good for nothing SOB! Well I suppose he told you I was speeding too!"

 

[Tgace]

A guy blows a stop sign and gets caught by a policeman.

The cop says, "License and registration please."

Guy says, "What for?"

Cop says, "You didn't come to a complete stop at the stop sign."

Guy says, "I slowed down, and no one was coming."

Cop says, "You still didn't come to a complete stop, license and registration, please."

Guy says, "What's the difference?"

Cop says, "The difference is, you have to come to a complete stop. License and registration, please!"

Guy says, "If you can show me the difference between 'slow down' and 'stop', I'll give you my license and registration."

Cop says, "Okay, exit your vehicle, sir." At this point, the cop takes out his night stick, starts beating up the guy and asks, "Now, do you want me to slow down or stop?"

 

[KenpoTex]

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

 

[KenpoTex]

The old Texas trooper just pulled over a speeder. He walks up to the drivers side window and hauls of and slaps the fire out of him. The shocked driver said "W-w-w-hat did you do that for". The old troop said, "Boy, don't you know when a trooper pulls you over, you'd better be ready when I get here". The driver hands him the license and shortly after received his citation. Again the trooper hauls off and belts him one across the face. The guy said, "Alright, now what was that for?" The old troop said, "that's to remind you not to speed in Texas. Now get out of here...Wait...hold on." The troop walks over to the passenger side and slaps the fire out of him. The passenger said, "...But, but, but, I wasn't even driving". The troop said, "I know, I was just granting your wish". The passenger says, "wish, what wish?." Old troop said, "I know that you wouldn't have got five miles from here before you told your buddy, "I wish that guy would've tried that crap with me!"

 

[MA-Caver]

:lol: :roflmao:

:idea:
(chanting) Rodney King! Rodney King! Rodney King!