At what point would you be forced to fight?

[Tony]

I know there are many people who would punch another person senseless if a negative comment was made about their mother or even what they were wearing! Some people simply enjoy getting into fights to prove their manhood!
Other guys don't like their girlfriends being chatted up by other guys and will immediately lash out! Some Road rage incidents have resulted in brawls and even murders!
So what I wanted to know was would anyone fight for minor things like being called gay or even someone pushing in front of them in a line somewhere?
Being a placid guy I have never resorted to acting physically when I have been insulted but I would like to think if I was in danger that I could defend myself to the best of my abilities!
I have a friend who is very highly strung, quick tempered and the fact he has started Taekwondo is a worry! I don't think he has grasped the true lessons of Martial Arts. I mean he will get very confrontational if someone is looking at him funny, or if someone makes a rude comment about what he is wearing!
But there are times when I think I should have reacted but didn't because I was scared of the consequences. One of my work colleagues had made a remark about me and I think he must have thought I hadn't heard what he said as I was leaving the room, but I did! It made me really angry and if I had reacted on my impulses he would might have been limping and I would have lost my job! So I guess its a good thing I didn't!
So I would be interested in your views, when would you use your skills other then for self defence?

 

[7starmantis]

My simple answer is never. You said when would you use your skill other than self defense? Never. Ok, let me rephrase that, self defense or the defense of someone else. Thats the only time I would fight.

7sm

 

[OUMoose]

At least in my mind, I feel I've moved past the point of picking fights just to prove something. Now if my family were involved, you can bet anything the aggressor would have something to think about.

Most of my friends I think can hold their own, but I would help them if they ever got in trouble. But as I tell all of them, if they pick the fight for something stupid, I'm going to let them get smacked around for a bit before jumping in to break things up. Kind of a reality check. hehe...

 

[Tony]

Well I am proud to say I have not been in any fights since I was 17 and I am 26 now, but I think that situation couldn't be merited as a fight although I was defending myself! I am of the opinion that if I can walk away I will!
But if I have no other option then I must use some kind of force to escape!
I won't even retaliate if my mother is being insulted or even my friends! But I won't retaliate verbally either! I wonder how the old Masters would have dealt with this!
I have one friend who would get in to a fight for silly reasons and I don't think I could justify defending him because he has a choice but I think all too often he makes the wrong choice! It is fortunate he gets into these altercations when I'm not there because in all honesty I don't know what I would do! I remember one time me him and my other friend who happens to be just as placid as I am were just leaving a Nightclub! We were getting into my friend's car, when these silly immature young guys were beeping their horn at us and other people for no apparent reason. My friend who was irritated by this wanted me and my other friend to help him but we both refused and he wasn't too happy about it! But I'm glad because we averted a potential violent confrontation. For a lot of people it doesn't take much to fuel their anger to a point of violence and this coupled with Martial Arts training is a concern!

I try to avoid pubs and other places where there is reputation for violence! My two friends go to this pub in my home town on a friday or saturday night! They have tried to get me to go with them but I prefer not to because of its reputation! My friend was rather confused that for someone who has been practicing Martial Arts all these years I have "no bottle" ( in other words courage when it comes to fighting!) but I think its perfectly reasonable to want to avoid violence and to try and settle disputes peacefully which is what all goo Martial Artists should do! Because fighting is only a small part of Martial arts. It should be moulding us into better people having respect and honour!

 

[OUMoose]

No bottle? hehe. That's somewhat amusing.

One of my teachers said it best I think. "No one wins a fight, because as soon as it starts, you've all already lost... and I don't like to lose..."

 

[Cruentus]

No one can "force" me to do anything. It would be my obligation to use physical force in defense of myself, a loved one, or someone who is weaker and in need.

:asian:

 

[someguy]

I'd use them to protect myself or sometimes another. Theres a whole nother thread about protecting others somewhere I don't really remember where though. If I have to fight though it probably will look something like this

:btg: or this :fart:

 

[loki09789]

Look into your local/state/provincial penal laws concerning use of force and deadly force... that's were I draw the line. As long as I use this as a base line, judgement and choice are aligned to legal, justifiable applications. Every person has the right to defend themselves, but usually there is some stipulation about an "obligation to retreat" as long as retreating doesn't put you in further or greater danger. Some states wave this obligation if you are in your home or private business.

Paul M

 

[Ceicei]

Only if I am or my loved ones are in direct physical threat of being harmed, then I will use martial arts or if warranted, my weapon. If the situation is just badmouthing or anything like that from others, then no.

- Ceicei

 

[Eldritch Knight]

My instinct tells me in an unarmed, violent confrontation, its best to wait for the first attack before striking back. It not only protects you legally (which is a necessary priority), but if your enemy is untrained, its a lot easier to take them down. In the case of weapons, if I know that either myself or another (family or not) is in immediate danger of being hurt, its no-holds barred: I'd continue attacking until he is no longer a threat.

 

[OULobo]

When I was still at college I used to scrap quite a bit, all drunken brawls and chest puffing (those were the good ole days, eh Moose). I will say that it gave me a good bit of confidence about my abilities, but as I got older I lost my taste for it (the fighting, not the booze). Too much at risk and nothing to really gain except a story to tell at parties. I haven't seen any action since and I don't plan to. Part of being at school was getting rid of all that, getting it out of my system. I noticed college is good for that along with the academic education. I have friends here that are older than me, but never went away to school, and they are still going through the scrappy piss and vineger stage. I guess now I just talk it down and keep my eyes open. I don't help friends that start stuff unless the fight takes a really ugly turn. Some people need a bit of a woopin every now and then. As for immediate family, there is no room to negotiate. I'm full tilt against anyone who takes on my immediate family. I only got one Mom and Pop and they're too old to start stuff and much too old to finish it. My fiancee is pretty cool headed, but when she's not, I usually end up having to talk her down, not the other people.

 

[Black Bear]

Remember the two fundamental axioms of self-defense as handed down by the Angry Laser Monkey.

1) Violence hurts. Even if you walk away without being hit, you will still have bruised knuckles.

2) It is better to win than to lose.

If you meditate upon these two precepts every morning, you will be able to bypass the confused monkey chatter of those around you, and infer all the intricate truths of use-of-force ethics. Mainly, it boils down to: "thou shalt use violence in order to prevent harm coming to yourself or those whom you care for, against anyone who has waived their right to their own personal, physical safety by credibly threatening the use imminent of force against you or those whom you care for". You never have perfect knowledge of another person's intentions, but you are accountable for the way in which you use the information available to you to make a judgement.

Accountable:
1) before yourself (conscience)
2) before the state (legal considerations)
3) before your God or gods (ethical codes)
4) for some of you there are others: accountable before your community, other authorities, etc.

So you see it is impossible for me to answer this question for anyone else, except to invoke the two self-defense axioms of the Angry Laser Monkey.

 

[MA-Caver]

My simple answer is never. You said when would you use your skill other than self defense? Never. Ok, let me rephrase that, self defense or the defense of someone else. Thats the only time I would fight.

7sm

Ditto :asian:

 

[Shinzu]

i would say that if my life or my families lives were in danger. then i would fight.

also if i was attacked first. i would defend myself to the point of saftey.

 

[7starmantis]

Yeah, I feel the need to clarify about defending others. If one of my friends gets in a pissing match with someone at a pub or something I'm going to sit back and watch, and probably laugh. Now if it turns ugly I'll step in, but not beat the other guy up, just stop him from really hurting my friend. Kind of the John Wayne approach I guess, "He's had enough partner" <in my best John Wayne voice>.

Most of my friends are pretty cool headed, and they know that I'm not going to back them up if they did something stupid.

7sm

 

[RHD]

At risk of this being construed as overly aggressive...Put your hands on me with intent and all bets are off. Even look like you intend to harm my kids, wife, mother, or brother and I'll be in your face before you can blink. Or maybe I'd just let my dog growl at you and see if you want to continue.
Mike

 

[Dijos]

for me, when someone starts reaching for me or mine, it's on. That said, carrying a gun taught me that ego is not worth fighting over. Insults and abuse roll right off of my back. My GF is the one I'm worried about getting me involved in a fight. :uhyeah: --Joe

 

[Tony]

Let me just say that I would walk away from most conflicts and even if I were insulted, my mother was insulted I would still walk away! But if there were no other way of escaping then I would fight like a wild Tiger to get free!
A while ago my car had been broken into, and I will never know how I would have reacted if I had caught the b&%t*&d who did it in the act!
At school I was bullied and I never fought back because I was more scared of the consequences, especially from the teachers! Silly really when I think about it because I should have been able to deal with a detention or whatever if I was being picked on. Such a pity I didn't officially start training in a Martial Art til I was 21!

 

[Pacificshore]

When my life depended on it

 

[Gary Crawford]

It's really hard to say,I've been ready to fight on several occasions,which my willingness to fight defused the situations.The last real fight I was in was in 1994 and that was defending a freind who had been attacked by a much bigger guy.