Any thoughts??

[chinto01]

My training situation is a bit unique. My karate Sensei lives on Okinawa. This is great especially going there to see him and having him come here. I train with my friend who owns a dojo (who is more a training partner than anything) and from time to time I help out with his adult class. Well I have given a lot of thought to my own training and there is is gracie jiu jitsu program being run in the same town that I help my friend out. I am going to check the class out tonight and am really interested in joining this program as I feel it will round out my own training. To make a long story short I will not quit my karate training but I do not want to tell my friend I am thinking of training elsewhere because I know I am in for a lecture. My first thought is not to tell him anything about the training and tell him I have to leave class early for a family commitment. I know most will say just tell him the truth. I would love to but like i said I know the lecture I will be in for.

Any thoughts??

In the spirit of bushido!

Rob

 

[jks9199]

Start playing games with the truth, and you'll end up getting caught in lies.

Tell your friend what's going on, and why you're doing it. Tell him you understand he'll disagree... but it your choice, and you don't need a lecture.

 

[terryl965]

Rob this is simply from my perspective, Please give the common courtesy and let your friend know from the start. It will help out in the long run, this way he can never say your have not been loyal to me. I know I appreciate it when my students come to me and say Sir it is time for me to try another Art a few a days a week and I simply telll them to enjoy and I will be seeing you on so and so days then right. They do not need my blessing but it sure makes me feel good inside that I tought them enough about proper edicate.

 

[chinto01]

I think it is more the lecture that I know I am in for which will go something like this " I do not understand why you would even consider this. You are 36 and not getting any younger besides our art has everything in it. Good luck with that." If it goes any different I would be shocked.

In the spirit of bushido!

Rob

 

[terryl965]

I think it is more the lecture that I know I am in for which will go something like this " I do not understand why you would even consider this. You are 36 and not getting any younger besides our art has everything in it. Good luck with that." If it goes any different I would be shocked.

In the spirit of bushido!

Rob

Then remind your friends at 36 you are in your prime and that you would like to see if this has any merit to add to your Art. Also beat him to the punch by saying I know you are going to feel like this but if you are a true friend you will understand.

 

[HelloKitty]

Any thoughts??

In the spirit of bushido!

Rob

And if you like the other class you'll always have family commitments, etc?

If it's really your friend and partner and you respect him telling the truth, he'll respect you too.

Good luck!

 

[Kacey]

I agree with the above. Lies will only get you in trouble in the long run. Lots of people branch out into a 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc. MA. Are you more concerned that your friend will see you as disloyal to your sensei, or that he will miss your help with his own class? Either way, perhaps you could talk to your sensei first, and explain your reasons for adding another style to him... then tell your friend you've already done that; that could easily take some of the wind out of his sails.

Otherwise, I'd just print the post you put at the top of this thread, add the reasons why you want to add another MA, and show it to your friend. You have to live for you - not for others' expectations of you.

 

[IcemanSK]

I not only agree with the above who say "tell the truth" I'll add that as his friend, you owe him the truth. I'm not a fan of anyone lying to me but I want my friends most of all to be straight with me! If you were him, what would you want?

 

[Xue Sheng]

Tell the truth

 

[pstarr]

I agree with Xue...tell your friend from the outset and avoid painful complications later-

 

[MJS]

My training situation is a bit unique. My karate Sensei lives on Okinawa. This is great especially going there to see him and having him come here. I train with my friend who owns a dojo (who is more a training partner than anything) and from time to time I help out with his adult class. Well I have given a lot of thought to my own training and there is is gracie jiu jitsu program being run in the same town that I help my friend out. I am going to check the class out tonight and am really interested in joining this program as I feel it will round out my own training. To make a long story short I will not quit my karate training but I do not want to tell my friend I am thinking of training elsewhere because I know I am in for a lecture. My first thought is not to tell him anything about the training and tell him I have to leave class early for a family commitment. I know most will say just tell him the truth. I would love to but like i said I know the lecture I will be in for.

Any thoughts??

In the spirit of bushido!

Rob

You're training for you, nobody else. If its something that you want to do, do it! I'd also be up front with your friend. If you decide to join the BJJ school, you're going to have to come up with an excuse every time you want to go train BJJ. Better to be honest. As for the lecture...that is simply his opinion on training. If you feel like it's going to better you, then thats all that should matter.

It seems that he's set in his ways, so no matter what you say, you're probably not going to change his mind or views on something. As for age...don't let that stop you. BJJ is something that can be done by anyone at any age. Nobody says you need to enter the UFC. Go at your pace. As far as everything being in the art...well, I don't buy that either. Sure, there may be bits and pieces of it, but if you want to expand on something, you're going to need to go to the source and look outside the box.

Mike

 

[chinto01]

Hello all. Thanks for your replies. As expected when I told him what my plans were I got the "canned" lecture with the end phrase "good luck with that." Anyhow I went to the BJJ class last evening and it was awesome. I really think I can fit in there and have a good time. A part of me thinks his comments may be because he is jealous because he cannot do this himself owning the dojo and all. Oh well I look forward to my new adventure with or without his "blessing".

In the spirit of bushido!

Rob

 

[MJS]

Hello all. Thanks for your replies. As expected when I told him what my plans were I got the "canned" lecture with the end phrase "good luck with that." Anyhow I went to the BJJ class last evening and it was awesome. I really think I can fit in there and have a good time. A part of me thinks his comments may be because he is jealous because he cannot do this himself owning the dojo and all. Oh well I look forward to my new adventure with or without his "blessing".

In the spirit of bushido!

Rob

Awesome!! Glad that you enjoyed the class. Is this class taught by Jim Hughes? If so, one of my old workout partners used to train with him. He spoke highly of him.

Mike

 

[chinto01]

I believe it is one of his students named Joshua. It is run out of the southington athletic club.

In the spirit of bushido1

Rob

On a side note Mike I believe you are located in cromwell. I live in Plainville any way to get the other people from Connecticut together who are on martial talk?

 

[MJS]

On a side note Mike I believe you are located in cromwell. I live in Plainville any way to get the other people from Connecticut together who are on martial talk?

Yes that is possible. IIRC, a year or so ago, a group of Kenpoists from the New England area got together for dinner. Not so much a workout, but more of a chance to meet and talk with other Kenpo people who are on MT and in the general area.

I'm sure we could post something on here, to see if people were interested in doing something similar to what I mentioned above or a workout, if there was a space available.

 

[Brian R. VanCise]

Excellent advice from everyone and I am glad you enjoyed your first BJJ class!

I think in the end you will find that it complements your other training and will only make you more well rounded.

 

[chinto01]

Mike let's discuss the idea.

In the spirit of bushido!

Rob

 

[MJS]

Mike let's discuss the idea.

In the spirit of bushido!

Rob

I'll PM you.

 

[chinto01]

Thanks