your mortality

MA-Caver

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Shaolinwind said:
When did it hit you that you were going to die someday? Did it chill you to the bone?

How do you feel about your own mortality and how do you emotionally deal with the inevitable?

I ask this, because today I had a thought that changed my whole outlook on the subject.
(I say that this needs to be moved to the Philosophy/Spirituality section of this forum :D )

My first realization came when I woke up one morning some 30 years ago and found my mother who had passed away in her sleep. I recall vividly thinking to myself "that this too, will happen to me."

I realize that I must die or else I will have never lived. I have experienced several "near deaths" in the course of my life's path either from (street) combat or from my love of adventuring. While I do not fear death itself, I have no wish to die and thus will fight for my life to the last. However I have found by internal seeking/searching, that I am perfectly capable of giving my life for another should the need arise. This insight surprised me quite a bit because I did not know that I had this in me. When I discovered it I had to give it a lot of thought and consideration. I realized with some relief that I'm human enough to be capable but won't be at all happy about it.
Death is only another beginning anyway.

So Shaolinwind... what was the thought you had that "changed your whole outlook on the subject? Would you care to share that with us now?

:asian:
 
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Shaolinwind

Shaolinwind

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MA-Caver said:
So Shaolinwind... what was the thought you had that "changed your whole outlook on the subject? Would you care to share that with us now?

:asian:

I'm not sure you want to know, it's part of my somewhat recent life changes, it's very strange and it's complicated, at least to me. I'm a little reluctant because I don't want to sound like I am talking out my ***. But since you guys know me pretty ok and I trust you, alright. It requires a bit of backstory that I will try and fit in somewhere as I ATTEMPT to put one of the greatest epiphanies of my life into words.

I have no faith or religeon and always believed you die, you go nowhere and see nothing. This is a really sucky concept. What really scared me was the uncertainty.. When, how old, how painful, etc. I never allowed myself to think about it because it chills me to the core.

As you probably all know by now, I am in a strange state of change, and have thusly set several pretty intense goals for myself and have made great progress in getting there. Without getting to far into detail here I have some potentially dangerous goals. (you can see the details in my blog, the link is in my profile, scroll down to "The Unrea-list")

Well, it occurred to me that I could in fact die in the process of many of these things. I was thrilled by the idea that I could die trying to do something amazing.. What a way to go.. Working to do great deeds. Screw all that in your sleep jive, I want to go while traveling cross country on foot. I want to die while doing something great.

My solution to my death issues is to always be working on something great, striving for the greater good, attempting to break records and blaze new trails, to be the best at everything I do, be kind to everyone, love mankind. I want to become magnanimous and to still be humble and meek at the end of the day. I need to always work hard to do those things and be that man.

Now naturally this doesn't mean I have a death wish and I'm going to start juggling chainsaws and wrestling wild bulls at the same time. But it is wonderful to think I may die in the process of attemting something amazing. Or, at least be remembered as a good person who worked hard, achieved many things, and loved with all his being.

That is what I aspire to. And because I know I can and will do anything I put my mind to, I am far too involved with living to ever worry about dieing again. At least, I think that's how I feel.. I'm so confused lately. I barely know who I am anymore. I don't even recognize the man in the mirror, nor do I recognize the things he says and does. But I can get used to this stranger.

Please forgive me if I've said more than I need to say to get the point accross, I'm not particularly articulate. =)
 

bluemtn

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I kind of like "Peter Pan's" philosophy- "to die would be an awful big adventure"- in other words, don't think of it as being the absolute end of things, just the next step to whatever.
 

Tgace

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The first time I came close to it was when I was rappelling (19-20 yo with an anchor rope, a carabiner, and a rope harness....dumbass that I was). Came off the rope, fell down the cliff (50-75 ft/slightly sloped) , bounced twice, fortunately the rope wound around my arm, burning me pretty badly but slowed me down enough to just knock the wind out of me......then there was the time I tried a slack jump off of a railroad trestle....

The only thing I hope for is that when it does eventually happen, that it sneaks up on me and is quick....
 

Navarre

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As I am certain to die, I would prefer my death be in dramatic fashion. I would want to die saving children from their burning orphanage or something like that.

The idea of the painful death doesn't bother me as long as the death made ppl sit up for a second and believe in the intrinsic good of the human spirit. I want everything I do to change the world for the better, even my death.

um, maybe I've read too many comic books.
 

Tgace

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"One who is supposed to be a warrior considers it his foremost concern to keep death in mind at all times, every day and every night, from the morning of New Year's Day through to the night of New Year's Eve."

"As long as you keep death in mind at all times, you will also fulfill the ways of loyalty and familial duty. You will also avoid myriad evils and calamties, you will be physically sound and healthy, and you will live a long life. What is more, your character will improve and your virtue will grow."

-Bushidoshoshinshu
 

Tgace

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Another interesting quote from the Shoshinshu...

And all this misfortune springs from his not remembering to keep death always in his thoughts. But one who does this whether he is speaking himself or answering others will carefully consider, as befits a samurai, every word he says and never launch out into useless argument. Neither will he allow anyone to entice him into unsuitable places where he may suddenly confronted with an awkward situation, and thus he avoids evils and calamities. And both high and low, if they forget about death, are very apt to take to unhealthy excess in food and wine and women so that they die unexpectedly early from diseases of the kidneys and spleen, and even while they live their illness makes them of no use to anyone. But those who keep death always before their eyes are strong and healthy while young, and as they take care of their health and are moderate in eating and drinking and avoid the paths of women, being abstemious and moderate in all things, they remain free from disease and live a long and healthy life.

Basically. If you keep in mind that if you fight you may be killed, you will choose the proper time and place to risk your life. The knuckleheads killed in bar rooms over "respect" vs. a person who dies rescuing another is a good example.
 

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