"You Ruined My Pictures"

[Bob Hubbard]

I'm so not opening a photo lab, lol.





“Professional” Photography

Photo Lab | Washington, USA
(Customer has been browsing their pictures for a few minutes and I’ve been working on other orders.)
Customer: “Hey!”
(The customer taps envelope on the counter obnoxiously to get my attention.)
Me: “Yes sir?”
Customer: “You ruined my pictures!” *throws pictures on the
counter*
Me: “Sir, they look fine to me.”
Customer: “You put your fingers in my pictures!”
Me: “That’s impossible sir, there’s no way my fingers could be in your pictures.”
Customer: “They stuck them in the way when you were printing them.”
Me: “No sir, the way our machine works that just can’t happen. The only way there could be fingers in the pictures is if whoever was taking the picture accidentally let their fingers get in the shot.”
Customer: “Well, I’m a professional and I took all these pictures so I know it wasn’t me. It has to be your fingers!”
Me: “Sir, was I there when you took your pictures?”
Customer: *looks annoyed and confused* “No…”
Me: “They’re not my fingers then.”
(This continued for another 15 minutes, with the customer complaining about our machine being out of focus and a mystery line that very obviously resembled a camera strap.)

 

[MBuzzy]

WOW....I'd like to know how it resolved. And I wonder ho loosely he was using the term professional?

 

[Bill Mattocks]

What is this 'film' stuff?

 

[Xue Sheng]

OK OK

It was me... I put my fingers in his pictures...And it was easy too… with all that extensive Pirate/Ninja irate4::ninja: training I have had over the years

 

[Bob Hubbard]

I've had problems with prints being too dark, but never had the lab add fingers, unless I asked.

 

[Jade Tigress]

Even a "non-professional" photographer should understand that. What an idiot...

 

[jks9199]

I would think that the process of adding fingers in most photo labs would be a tad injurious to the lab techs... and it'd be just a little obvious whose fingers they were!

 

[Jade Tigress]

I would think that the process of adding fingers in most photo labs would be a tad injurious to the lab techs... and it'd be just a little obvious whose fingers they were!

I was thinking the same thing Jim, you just managed to articulate for me!

 

[Xue Sheng]

two words

Adobe Photoshop

 

[MA-Caver]

two words

Adobe Photoshop

(got ya beat...) One word... GIMP (and it's free)... :lol:

Again that was hilarious Bob... loved especially

Customer: “Well, I’m a professional and I took all these pictures so I know it wasn’t me. It has to be your fingers!”
Me: “Sir, was I there when you took your pictures?”
Customer: *looks annoyed and confused* “No…”
Me: “They’re not my fingers then.”

Classic smart-*** comeback!

Yep folks... Bob proves to us once again... they walk among us!

 

[Bob Hubbard]

 

[Bob Hubbard]

Someone Needs To Go Back To School

Photography Studio | Arizona, USA
Me: “Photography studio, how may I help you?”
Customer: “Yeah, hi, I just received a second notice…”
Me: “… for your yearbook session?”
Customer: “Yeah, well, for my daughter. I’m just calling to see if this is a scam.”
Me: “No, ma’am, we work with your daughter’s high school. If she doesn’t have her photo taken within the next three weeks, it won’t appear in the yearbook.”
Customer: “Oh… so do you offer a class?”
Me: “Excuse me?”
Customer: “You know, a class for parents who don’t really understand this whole process?”
Me: “Well it’s really not that complicated. Your daughter just has to come to the studio and have her picture taken. It will probably only last twenty minutes. If you want more information on the sessions we sent out brochures with the first notice or you can go to our website.”
Customer: “So… you don’t offer a class?”

 

[Bob Hubbard]

Maybe That’s Her Good Side

Photo Lab | Turnersville, NJ, USA
Customer: “Do you take passport photos?”
Me: “Yes we do. Do you want one taken?”
Customer: “Yes, please.”
Me: “Okay, ma’am. Just stand in front of the screen, please, and I’ll take your photo.”
(She walks up and stands in front of the white screen; she’s facing the background with her back towards me. My coworkers can barely keep it together at this point.)
Me: “Ma’am, you’re going to have to turn around if you don’t want the back of your head on your passport.”

 

[Bob Hubbard]

Must Be One Of Them Transdimensional Cameras

Photo Lab | Maryland, USA
Customer: “Hi, I’m here to pick up my pictures.”
(I grab the customer’s pictures and she proceeds to look through them. She then hands one of the pictures to me.)
Customer: “Can you print this the other way?”
Me: “The other way?”
Customer: “Yes, flip it around.”
Me: “Okay…”
(Confused, I go into the lab, insert the film negative into the machine upside down and print a mirrored image for the customer.)
Me:¬†”Here you go!”
Customer:¬†”No, no, no. Flip it around!”
Me: “I did. See, it’s mirrored.”
Customer:¬†”No, no, no. My husband took the picture.¬†Can you flip it around and print him?”
Me:¬†”…”

 

[Bob Hubbard]

Just, Like, Smile And Nod

Photo Lab | Delafield, WI, USA
(A bubbly teenager walks up to the counter with a roll of film in her hand.)
Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”
Teenage customer: “Like, how long does it, like, take to do one hour photo?”
Me: “About 60 minutes.”
Teenage customer: “Really?! Like, oh my gawd! That’s, like, so totally cool! Wait ’til I tell my mom it’s, like, totally not gonna take an hour!”
Me: *smiles*

 

[Bob Hubbard]

Forensics For Dummies

Photo Lab | Atlanta, GA, USA
Me: “Hi, what can I do for you?”
Customer: “I have this group photo. Can you scan it and cut people out?”
Me: “Yes, to an extent.”
Customer: “I want the people in the front row taken out so I can see what the guy in the back row is wearing.”
Me: “Um, it doesn’t work like that.”
Customer: “Why not? He’s standing right there! If you take these people away, you can see all of him!”
Me: “If I remove these people from the photo, all that will be left is nothing. Photos are two dimensional, not three dimensional.”
Customer: “That’s not true! I’ve seen ‘em do it on CSI!”

 

[Bob Hubbard]

Imperceptions On Imperfections

Portrait Studio | Bay Area, CA, USA
(A customer comes in to pick up the portraits of her daughter she ordered. I go through the order with her to verify everything is there.)
Customer: “What is this on my daughter’s face!?”
Me: “Well, it looks like her skin has a red mark below her eye.”
Customer: “No! She doesn’t! She looked perfect when we came in and I didn’t see this on the computer before. You did something to them!”
Me: “I’m sorry you’re unhappy, but the photographs are exactly as they appear on the ordering screen. Also, this mark is on her face in the same spot in every pose, so it couldn’t be a printing problem.”
Customer: “Well, no. You’re wrong. You did something to them. my daughter is perfect!”

 

[Bob Hubbard]

Copyright Meets Copywrong, Part 2

Office Supply Store | Dallas, TX, USA
(I am creating a business card for a customer. She hands me a picture to scan to use on the card.)
Me: “Ma’am, this photo is copyrighted by whoever took it.”
Customer: “Oh, that’s okay. You can still use it.”
Me: “I’m sorry, but I can’t use it without the permission of the photographer.”
Customer: “Oh. Well you can just cross out the copyright on the back of the picture and then use it! It’ll be okay.”
Me: “Do you have another picture you would like to use?”
(She hands me the same picture but with a piece of paper taped over the copyright on the back.)
Customer: “Here. Now you can use it.”
Me: “Ma’am, just because the copyright is covered now doesn’t mean it’s not copyrighted anymore. We could be fined $50,000 if we used this. If you can get the permission of the person who took this or another picture we can do this for you.”
Customer: “What kind of business is this?”

 

[Bob Hubbard]

Side note to Copyright Meets Copywrong, Part 2:
I've had a number of people hand me other photographers work, or stuff that was just snagged off the net somewhere and expect me to use it for their web sites. There is unfortunately a serious lack of understanding about copyright and usage, as a scan through a lot of fliers will clearly show.

For more on this...keep reading....

 

[Bob Hubbard]

(Copyright) Piracy On The Seventy Seas

Retail | USA
Customer: “I’d like three copies of this photo, please.”
Me: “I’m very sorry, sir, but this we can’t copy this. It’s a professionally taken photo.”
Customer: “What?! It was taken on a cruise ship 3 years ago!”
Me: “I apologize, sir, but we’re not allowed to copy professional photos without the photographer’s consent.”
Customer: “It was taken on a cruise ship 5 years ago! What does the law have to do with anything!”
Me: “Sir, the government could fine us fifteen-thousand dollars for going against the copyright on those photos. The law gives the photographer legal ownership of those photos for seventy years.”
Customer: “Well, it’s been seven!”
Me: “I said seventy.”
Customer: “Well, seventy then!”