You Can't Make Up Stupid This Stupid... Enjoy!

celtic_crippler

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A dog in Utah shot his owner in the buttocks. The dog’s owner laid a loaded 12-guage shotgun down in his boat and when the dog accidently “pulled the trigger” he fired 27 pellets into his owner’s buttocks. The man amazingly avoided serious injury, but the dog was disappointed he couldn’t stuff and mount his owner’s butt.
http://www.nypost.com/p/news/national/dog_shoots_man_in_butt_W9IG8f0oyj6SDKeecnoy0N

Chad Ettmuelle opened wide for a big bite of his double-meat, double-cheese sandwich when his jaw locked open and the sandwich tragically went uneaten. DoctorÂ’s worked for 14 hours to surgically move it back into position. The sandwich is reportedly suing for negligence and emotional distress.
http://www.fsunews.com/videonetwork...ates-jaw-an-inch-on-each-side-eating-sandwich

Proving Darwin’s “survival of the fittest” theory doesn’t always hold water, a man in New Zealand decided to find out if a nail gun could penetrate bone. So, he decided to put a nail gun to his noggin and pull the trigger. He reportedly walked into the hospital laughing about the fact that his hat was “nailed” to his head. Though it did cost him vision in one eye, in a cruel evolutionary twist, the man’s reproductive organs went unharmed.
http://www.news.com.au/breaking-new...nz-man-discovers/story-e6frfkui-1226419643905

A vicar in Sheffield England insisted to staff at Northern General Hospital that heÂ’d been hanging curtains in the nude when he accidently slipped and fell onto his kitchen table causing a potato to become firmly lodged in his rectum. No wonder the church endorses kneeling over sittingÂ…
http://metro.co.uk/2008/10/31/vicar-hospitalised-with-potato-up-his-bum-95117/

A morbidly obese man presented at the ER with red, irritated skin on his stomach. Sharon Orrange, MD began her examination only to discover a turkey sandwich lodged in the fat folds of the man’s skin. The man reported that it was probably about a month old, and the “smell” the doctor said… “confirmed it.” Great… now I’ve lost my lunch too.
http://www.holytaco.com/things-that-have-been-found-in-fat-peoples-folds/

ER docs see their fair share of blood and gore, but feathers and glitter? Sean Murtagh of Bradford, England presented with a fancy hat super-glued to his head. The doctors were unable to soften the glue, so they amputatedÂ… the hat, not his head unfortunately.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2011/03/28/man-glues-tiny-hat_n_841504.html
 

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