Would you fight a friend?

[Flatlander]

I have fought a friend. My best friend. I hurt him pretty bad. I have never been so remorseful as I felt after that. Don't get me wrong, he deserved it. But I should hold myself to a higher standard. Nobody was in any danger. Interestingly though, we get along better than ever. I'm fortunate to have a friend like that.

 

[Tony]

I have fought a friend. My best friend. I hurt him pretty bad. I have never been so remorseful as I felt after that. Don't get me wrong, he deserved it. But I should hold myself to a higher standard. Nobody was in any danger. Interestingly though, we get along better than ever. I'm fortunate to have a friend like that.

Hi Flatlander

Can I ask why you were in this situation of having to hurt your best friend? I fooled around with friends giving each other dead arms but never really that far! Sometimes there are a couple of guys who need a slap but in the past I have never allowed myself to let it get that far! I guess I'm a very passive person. Forgive me for saying this bu maybe you and your friend get on better because he knows what you are capable of and has new found respect for you or even fear!

 

[Flatlander]

Actually, the problem arose due to alcohol. He had become quite belligerent, and I kicked him out of my house, and he then attacked me. I went completely over the top. I believe that the numerous discussions we had subsequent to the event in an effort to find the actual cause of the problem brought us to a closer understanding of eachother. He's now the godfather of my baby girl. Excellent man. I'm quite honoured to have a friend like that.

 

[Tony]

Hi Flatlander

I see, its lucky you are still good friends! Is't so sad to see people turn agressive for no reason when they are under the influence of alcohol.
So out of curiosity what Martial Art do you study?

 

[MA-Caver]

Hi Flatlander
I see, its lucky you are still good friends! Is't so sad to see people turn agressive for no reason when they are under the influence of alcohol.
So out of curiosity what Martial Art do you study?

Tony, people turn agressive under the influence of alcohol because alcohol is a mind-altering drug. The base components of alcohol are ether and water.
It should be no surprise that a person normally calm and peaceful should become belligernet and agressive when intoxicated.

 

[MichiganTKD]

I kicked my my best friend out of my house once. And yes, alcohol was a factor. He and another buddy of mine were at my parents' house (they were gone), and drank a case of beer. Actually he drank a case almost singlehandedly. He was being rather loud and obnoxious, and didn't want to leave. I told my buddy to take him home. It took him a long time to forgive me. He felt he had done nothing wrong. Rather, he felt that since we were friends, I should let him do whatever he wanted.

 

[Flatlander]

Hi Flatlander

I see, its lucky you are still good friends! Is't so sad to see people turn agressive for no reason when they are under the influence of alcohol.
So out of curiosity what Martial Art do you study?

Yes Tony, its a lesson that all must learn, especially those of us with any degree of martial skill. Alcohol can be very dangerous.

Modern Arnis, by the way.

 

[psi_radar]

A drunk friend ambushed me a few years back, we still laugh about it. the whole altercation looked something along the lines of him taking a swing at me, me parrying it and redirecting him. He came back at me with something resembling a tackle and I (having had a few too) pulled off a technique similar to kenpo's intercepting the ram. He did it with enough commitment to bring about a genuine response--the attack dictates the reaction--so the next day he apparently buckled over with pain while laughing at a Chris Rock special on HBO. The doctor later told him he had bruised ribs.

Still a great guy, like I said, we laughed over it since he knew what he was going to get and did it anyway.

 

[Tony]

A friend of mine tried to jokingly through me in the river but I managed to counter him but you see the problem for him is that he is vulnerable because he has operation scars on both sides of ribs where he has had kidney stone operations and because I touched him on one of them it hurt so not a good idea for doing that!

 

[Kevin Walker]

Sometimes friends have a falling out.

It is always sad to lose a buddy, but at some point in your life you will be at odds with your friend.

The literature is full of examples (from Shakespeare to divorce court) and I don't think I have to elaborate.

 

[Feisty Mouse]

I have a friend who likes to joke (and it really bothers me) about how weak I am - likes to push me around (literally) and so forth. I hate it. In part, because this person outweighs me by about 50% of my body weight, so if I were to "stand up" for myself and make this person "respect" me, I would have to escalate quickly, and do some serious damage.

So we don't see each other much now. It makes me sad. Other things were involved too, of course. But, although I joke around with my friends, having someone bump me and tell me how they could hurt me was not something I enjoyed at all.

 

[MA-Caver]

I have a friend who likes to joke (and it really bothers me) about how weak I am - likes to push me around (literally) and so forth. I hate it. In part, because this person outweighs me by about 50% of my body weight, so if I were to "stand up" for myself and make this person "respect" me, I would have to escalate quickly, and do some serious damage.

So we don't see each other much now. It makes me sad. Other things were involved too, of course. But, although I joke around with my friends, having someone bump me and tell me how they could hurt me was not something I enjoyed at all.

No, it's not fun at all I'll agree. But what style do you study and what rank you hold (so far)? If it is important to you (for whatever reason!) to maintain a friendship with this guy then you might want to try and make an impression by inviting him to your dojo and having him watch you practice. If he could see what kind of damage you could do then it might impress upon him that it's a good idea to quit screwing around with you.
Also expressing your feelings to him (as preferred to us) about his conduct with you, might also make that impression. Yet, it could just have him "poo-poo poor you" and go at it harder.
I viewed by a few friends as being "weak" but I don't let that bother me. I know what I'm capable of and I know I'm smart enough to not always let them know it. It keeps the rough-housing down to a minimum because they're not wanting to "test" me all the time.
Anyway, if it's not that important to keep that friendship, then let him go both you and he will get over it and move on. There are billions of other people in the world waiting to make your acquaintance and probably a thousand of those are waiting to become a friend. You just have to find out which ones. :asian:

 

[Feisty Mouse]

Thanks, MACaver. We both train at the same studio. My friend has seen me train before. But the strength/weight issue comes up - and my friend is very fast and very strong, and is not afraid to hurt anyone. So I try to avoid the issue. Nothing good will come of it.

 

[Phoenix44]

Geez, I think you guys all need a new circle of friends!

 

[Feisty Mouse]

I'm a pretty loyal person. I don't have a lot of friends, but the ones I have, I think great things of. It's hard. It's the first time I've been through something like this.

Aside from the divorce, of course. Ack.

 

[Tony]

I'm a pretty loyal person. I don't have a lot of friends, but the ones I have, I think great things of. It's hard. It's the first time I've been through something like this.

Aside from the divorce, of course. Ack.

Hi Feisty Mouse

This reminds me of a friend of mine who is a lot older and more aggressive than me. He has been training in Taekwondo for about 2 years and sees it as 'the ultimate Martial Art' and anything else I guess to him is just silly. I think thats how he views my 6 years of Kung Fu. He has asked me why don't I be a man and do Kung Fu but I really enjoy Kung Fu. So what if we don't break boards or spar for our gradings I enjoy it anyway.
This friend of yours sounds like he has an ego problem, but I'm sure if a trained Martial Artist a lot smaller than him knocked him on his a@@e he would change his perspective. There is always someone more skilled, stronger and faster.

 

[MA-Caver]

Geez, I think you guys all need a new circle of friends!

Well, sorry but I happen to like/love my present circle of friends very much thank you. They don't challenge me except in areas where I could use some improvement {Koff-koff right Ceicei? Koff-Koff - hack..wheeze} and fighting isn't one of them.
:asian:

 

[Feisty Mouse]

Hi Feisty Mouse

This reminds me of a friend of mine who is a lot older and more aggressive than me. He has been training in Taekwondo for about 2 years and sees it as 'the ultimate Martial Art' and anything else I guess to him is just silly. I think thats how he views my 6 years of Kung Fu. He has asked me why don't I be a man and do Kung Fu but I really enjoy Kung Fu. So what if we don't break boards or spar for our gradings I enjoy it anyway.
This friend of yours sounds like he has an ego problem, but I'm sure if a trained Martial Artist a lot smaller than him knocked him on his a@@e he would change his perspective. There is always someone more skilled, stronger and faster.

That's completely true, but sometimes knowing that stimulates some people to then need to "lord it over" someone. It makes them feel better about themselves, I'm sure. I think it makes her feel better.

 

[shesulsa]

I have a friend who likes to joke (and it really bothers me) about how weak I am - likes to push me around (literally) and so forth. I hate it. In part, because this person outweighs me by about 50% of my body weight, so if I were to "stand up" for myself and make this person "respect" me, I would have to escalate quickly, and do some serious damage.

So we don't see each other much now. It makes me sad. Other things were involved too, of course. But, although I joke around with my friends, having someone bump me and tell me how they could hurt me was not something I enjoyed at all.

My brother does this to me whenever I see him. We don't get along well, thanks to our mother. He started training Kenpo with Vic Laroux (sp?) and he kicked him out of class (according to my brother). About a year ago, we were embracing and he turned as though to hip-throw me. I pressed points on the side of his neck, dropped my center and locked the wrist still around me. He bent over backwards - literally - and then, proceeded to punch my arm repeatedly, I let him get his hands close to my face as though he were going to backfist me, etc, etc, then finally, I just put my hand on his shoulder and gave him a little shove - he went flying. I was surprised...guess I had a little Ki going there...lol.

Anyway, yeah - if I had to I would fight anyone - but only if I had to, and with the restraint appropriate to the situation and to the person.

Respectfully,

 

[TKD USA]

Wow I don't know if i would be able to do that to my sister.