Would you fight a friend?

[MA-Caver]

Interesting thought popped into my head as I was reading the replies to "At what point would you be forced to fight?" The quote below had brought the question (topic heading) to mind.

MICHIGANTKD
When would I be forced to fight?
When someone lays a hand on me, my wife, or anyone I care about who cannot defend themselves. However, it also depends on the level of aggression. If it just some loudmouth or drunk, I will use enough force to get the point across that his actions are unacceptable. If he wants to go further, so be it.

I've only had to fight one friend and that was because he was being a total snot and just would not reason to listen (and vice-versa). He wasn't drunk but being belligerent enough where I had enough and popped him one (lightly) then he went "ohh, you're asking for it now..." and that was all he was able to get out before I laid him out. Hated like hell to do it... but it did help ensure (his) respect to me.
So if someone is laying a had on you, your wife/husband or anyone that you care about that cannot defend themselves and they were a good/best/close friend that for some weird, out in left-field, for no good reason at all... :idunno: or just lost it...started in on you/them... would you treat them as you would any stranger/attacker or go easy or...
I guess it's a matter of personal ethics. Yes, it all depends upon circumstances doesn't it? But think a moment if the circumstances warranted it... and they're a good/best/close friend? How far would you go?

 

[Touch Of Death]

Sure, I would fight a friend. If your reasons are valid, smack him in the mouth.
Sean

 

[Zoran]

As I'm getting older, I don't keep the type of friends that I would need to fight. But, I too would fight if the need arised. There are plenty of people who seem to need a "spanking" these days.

 

[someguy]

If forced yes. If they really needed it like if I don't stop them they will cause great harm to themselves or others I guess so. It wouldn't be fun though.

 

[OUMoose]

I have to say I would fight my friends as well if I had to at last resort. Generally, one will know their friends a little better and be able to diffuse the situation before it comes to that, but anything is possible.

 

[7starmantis]

My closest friends are not the kind of people I have to ever worry about this with, but theoretically I would most likely go a little easier as I think I would be able to read them or their intentions a little easier. I would most deffinatly fight them or use force, but most likely a good and painful chin na would do the trick.

7sm

 

[Tony]

There is one so called friend I socialise with all the time. Although we go out all together, the three of us,its my other friend who I get on better with because its hard to make any kind of conversation with that person for fear of him becoming annoyed. Even though I have been studying Kung fu longer than he has been studying Taekwondo (kung fu 6 years, him: Taekwondo 2 years) he is still very aggressive and to tell you the truth does scare me so I would want to avoid fighting him. I remember one time when I was merely showing him I how flexible I was he wanted to spar with me, while we were watching a video in my friend's house. I declined and got called some offensive names but I didn't want to spar with him. And the other thing I was afraid of he might have won and then mocked my training as useless.
But I know his legs are weak but he has bigger hands than me, probably better punches than me but I'm sure I could deliver some good kicks to keep him away. I have sparred with many people in my Kung Fu class including my instructor but no goes over the top but they all try to make contact. And I have taken some good hard shots which has only made me come back with shots of my own, so maybe I am underestimating myself. But the prospect of getting into a fight with anyone doesn't thrill me and I will do all I can to avoid it!

 

[ShaolinWolf]

Yes, but only if forced. I choose my friends wisely, but I'd fight them if they did something off the wall that was totally illegal and started going nuts and attacking people for violent reasons or attacked me or a friend or family member physically. This is all on the assumption that they hit first, ask questions later.

 

[TonyM.]

Had to grab my brotherinlaw's hand and grind his knuckles together once to get his attention at a family gathering where he was being loud and belligerant. Whatever he was argueing about was quickly forgotten.

 

[jdubakki]

i would try to leave first but if forced i would fight a friend. i would probably take it easy though and let them learn as hard a lesson as they want

 

[Zoran]

There is one so called friend I socialise with all the time. Although we go out all together, the three of us,its my other friend who I get on better with because its hard to make any kind of conversation with that person for fear of him becoming annoyed.

I would say you need a new friend.

...he has been studying Taekwondo (kung fu 6 years, him: Taekwondo 2 years) he is still very aggressive...

I usually tell people that the most dangerous student in the school is a green belt (which takes 1-2 years to achieve). It's because they have learned just enough to get themselves into trouble.

I remember one time when I was merely showing him I how flexible I was he wanted to spar with me, while we were watching a video in my friend's house. I declined and got called some offensive names but I didn't want to spar with him.

I have a general rule when it comes to outside a training evironment. I don't spar and I don't exihibit anything from my training. Doing that just asks for trouble. When someone asks me to "show them something", I usually tell them to come to the school.

 

[Kembudo-Kai Kempoka]

I've choked out a friend. He was being a wazoo, and I knew him to be a skilled stand-up fighter, even under the influence. It being his birthday party, I didn't want to do him ugly, so I put him to sleep and set him in the jeep. When he woke, he simply asked, "was I really being that bad?". I assured him he was, he apologized, and we proceeded to enjoy the rest of the night.

Now, is that a fight, or a reprimand (as could only be understood by an innbriated fighter)?

 

[TigerWoman]

I would only fight a friend under defensive circumstances - defending myself, my family, my DOG, and those that are in danger of being hurt.

Hopefully a FRIEND wouldn't put me to the test. Although once, a friend of my daughter's decided to once come to our house late (1am) at night. He tapped my son's window. My son awoke and saw the shadowed form of a man and registered "intruder" in his mind. He woke us up frantically. My son (black belt) and my husband went out the top deck and I went out the back.

I was ready to defend my family and my house. Then this guy comes sheepishly walking up the back stairs. (my daughter was at college) He said that he had seen my son's light on (TV) and I guess wanted to talk to him - apparently without waking up the household. Not too bright.

Point is sometimes friends do dumb things. Its better to de-escalate a situation without doing injury either by talking or non-violent minimum force. Besides a friend today could be a foe tomorrow when he presses charges for assault.

 

[MichiganTKD]

I think it makes sense to actually have higher standards for your friends, especially if they practice with you. However, there is line that cannot be crossed regarding what I will and will not accept. If a friend of mine crosses that line, he will pay the price. Why should I let my friends have any more slack than anybody else? If I let my friends get away with too much, it sets a bad example.
Our Grandmaster told us stories about at least one person he practiced with in Korea that he fought with over in America because the guy was being a total schmuck. Apparently his friend had some issues that were never settled. They started free fighting, but the guy decided to do it for real. Our GM ended laying him out. Told him if he did that again he would die.

 

[Mark L]

... popped him one (lightly) then he went "ohh, you're asking for it now..." and that was all he was able to get out before I laid him out. Hated like hell to do it... but it did help ensure (his) respect to me.

I would not lay out a friend to ensure his respect, I would to prevent him from injuring me or those important to me.

But think a moment if the circumstances warranted it... and they're a good/best/close friend? How far would you go?

Only as far as I had to. I believe this demonstrates good judgement, and complies with laws in my state.

... so I put him to sleep ...

Exactly. One of the reasons we should all learn grappling & submissions.

 

[Fortis]

Shouldn't the question be, "Would you defend yourself or a loved one against a friend?" If someone comes at me (friend or not), I'll do what I can to defend myself.

 

[MA-Caver]

Shouldn't the question be, "Would you defend yourself or a loved one against a friend?" If someone comes at me (friend or not), I'll do what I can to defend myself.

Well probably that is a better way to put it but it's still the same question IMO.
I have friends that I just know by association, if need be I'll do what I must and hope for the best afterwards
I have friends that I known for years and enjoy their company once in a while. If need be I'll do what I must and hope for the best afterwards.
I have friends that I would do (almost) anything for if they were in need. If need be I'll do what I must...but as gently as possible, and hope for the best afterwards.
I then have friends that I would die for (unhesitantly)...because I feel that they would do the same for me. I would intervene as best as I could without hurting them, but again do what I must as far as I dared and then ask for their forgiveness afterwards ...provided I get a damn good explaination.

I asked this question (and am pleased at the responses...thanks folks) because in this crazy world of ours anything is possible. Like many here I don't like violence one bit, but am not afraid to use it. Just like many here, I'll be careful on the how's and worry about the why's later.
Yes we should choose our friends wisely and I've spent my life learning the in's and out's of picking the right ones. But in this crazy world of ours... you just never know. We can hope that it will never happen and that our real friends are those whom we can count on.

 

[Tony]

I would say you need a new friend.



I usually tell people that the most dangerous student in the school is a green belt (which takes 1-2 years to achieve). It's because they have learned just enough to get themselves into trouble.



I have a general rule when it comes to outside a training evironment. I don't spar and I don't exihibit anything from my training. Doing that just asks for trouble. When someone asks me to "show them something", I usually tell them to come to the school.

I know I need new friends but I find it hard making new friends. Besides he's friends with my best friend so its hard not to go out with him aswell, but I never socialise with him when my other friend is not there. If ever he feels like starting a fight with someone I walk a few metre a head of him and leave hime to it. None of my friends are interested in getting into a fight so they will calm him down. I think though in order for me to react it would take a lot, someone would actually have to physically try and hurt me, then I woudl return the favour with interest!!

 

[Gentle Fist]

Have to agree with most of you on this...

I would never strike a friend, but would lock him up if the situation called for it...

 

[MA-Caver]

ahh, now there's a very good alternative... using Hapkido and/or Akidio or any other grappling art can prevent bad feelings all around... (or one hopes