Would you do this? Parents beat daughters drug dealer up

pgsmith

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I would never do that, because it's just stupid. First, it is an attempt to assign blame to the boyfriend instead of their own obviously inadequate job of teaching their daughter how to be a responsible adult. Second, if the guy did need to be beaten, that is something you are supposed to do clandestinely, not by breaking into his house and making him a victim.

It does go quite some way, in my opinion, in explaining how their daughter ended up making bad decisions of her own.

I wouldn't let the drug dealer off so easy just because she is a wasted case. Drug dealers are part of the problem, if not the whole problem. If I can't buy drugs, I can't abuse them. If law enforcement isn't going to enforce the law, maybe the parents need to?

Sorry, but that a ridiculous outlook. How far do you want to take that thought? If you can't buy a gun, you can't hold up that store right? If you can't drive a car, you won't be having an accident. If you can't walk outside your house, you can't step off the curb and break your ankle.

That is simply attempting to make someone else responsible for your actions, and is a major problem in our society today in my opinion.

I know this is a commonly held belief, but from experience in that field, parental guidance can only go so far. Ultimately the individual is responsible for their own actions. Once a child is of a certain age, which varies from case to case, nothing a parent can do will have any effect.
:asian:

While I agree with you, it has been my experience that most problems in young adults stem from the lack of ability to make sound decisions. This is a learned skill and is almost always the result of sound parenting. At home is the best place to learn how to make good decisions, but most parents are clueless on how to teach it to their offspring. The decision that this woman's parents made in breaking into his house and beating up the boyfriend points to exactly where she learned her decision making skills from.
 
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ballen0351

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I think in this case it was stupid on the parents part. I am kinda surprised it doesn't happen more for other things. I know a guy that killed a man that sexually molested his son. I'm always surprised that doesn't happen more. Like when the child is truly a victim.
 

Tames D

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I would never do that, because it's just stupid. First, it is an attempt to assign blame to the boyfriend instead of their own obviously inadequate job of teaching their daughter how to be a responsible adult. Second, if the guy did need to be beaten, that is something you are supposed to do clandestinely, not by breaking into his house and making him a victim.

It does go quite some way, in my opinion, in explaining how their daughter ended up making bad decisions of her own.



Sorry, but that a ridiculous outlook. How far do you want to take that thought? If you can't buy a gun, you can't hold up that store right? If you can't drive a car, you won't be having an accident. If you can't walk outside your house, you can't step off the curb and break your ankle.

That is simply attempting to make someone else responsible for your actions, and is a major problem in our society today in my opinion.



While I agree with you, it has been my experience that most problems in young adults stem from the lack of ability to make sound decisions. This is a learned skill and is almost always the result of sound parenting. At home is the best place to learn how to make good decisions, but most parents are clueless on how to teach it to their offspring. The decision that this woman's parents made in breaking into his house and beating up the boyfriend points to exactly where she learned her decision making skills from.

I have a ridiculous outlook? They suck people into a world of addiction for money, and you're saying that's cool and the victim should be punished? God Damn The Pusher Man! Take him out of the equation, and what do you have? Less addiction to drugs.
They are the lowest of the low. And you're ok with that.
 

K-man

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They suck people into a world of addiction for money, and you're saying that's cool and the victim should be punished? God Damn The Pusher Man! Take him out of the equation, and what do you have? Less addiction to drugs.
They are the lowest of the low. And you're ok with that.
I'm not sure how the system works in the US but I'll give you an idea of what happens here. Someone hooked on drugs needs to use. Whether society approves or not, whether parents are trying to get them off drugs, the addict is going to use until such time that he/she is incarcerated, dead, or has reached the decision that it's time to quit. So how do you pay for the addiction. For some it's armed robbery, for others it's burglary. Others might steal cars and others will go into prostitution. Not one of those is a good option for society or the addict. The majority here would go into some form of dealing, generally small scale. They will buy a larger quantity than they need for their own personal use and they then sell it on to their friends at an increased price. I would suggest that most pushers are just one step up the ladder from the end point user. Removing people at that level has a minuscule effect on overall use, and they are not the lowest of the low. Those people are much higher up the tree.
:asian:
 

oftheherd1

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I have a ridiculous outlook? They suck people into a world of addiction for money, and you're saying that's cool and the victim should be punished? God Damn The Pusher Man! Take him out of the equation, and what do you have? Less addiction to drugs.
They are the lowest of the low. And you're ok with that.

I really have no sympathy for drug dealers, whether they are also users or not. But those who use have much responsibility in the matter as well, for their own actions. They obviously desire to use, probably enjoy using, and don't usually want to stop, but rather just have easy access.

There are exceptions of course, and those people are easier to help, as with all excursions outside the law. But most criminals are doing what they do because they want to; use drugs, break into cars or homes, steal at stores, whatever.

So again, no sympathy for dealers, but most users must chart their own course.
 

MJS

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Updated: Wednesday, November 13 2013, 11:01 PM EST The parents of a young woman face criminal charges in Carroll County after police say they beat a man for giving their daughter drugs. FOX45 learned that doctors have treated and released the victim from the hospital. Police are still in the process of releasing information about the baseball bat assault, but FOX45 has confirmed that four adults have been accused of beating a man. William Costigan, Tanya Costigan, Daniel Delmar, and Chatherine Lonas are all facing first-degree burglary and assault charges. According to charging documents, two of the suspects are the parents of Kristin Delmar, who recently survived an overdose. Kristin's parents, including her mother Tonya, blame Kristin's boyfriend and suspected supplier - Eric Mandley. Police told FOX45, the four suspects broke into Mandley's home In Mount Airy on Sunday, and his sister witnessed the attack. Investigators say the two male suspects, kicked in the door, and then Costigan grabbed Mandley and began beating him with a wooden baseball bat while the other man stood by with a metal bat. Mandley's sister ran outside, and called 911. Police arrested the suspects, all of whom posted bail on Monday. While an on camera interview was denied, Kristins mother told FOX45 that she was concerned for her daughters well-being. According to investigators, police have not yet charged him with any crime.

Read More at: http://foxbaltimore.com/news/featur...aughters-drug-dealer-23424.shtml#.UoVXquKYYsE



As a cop I wouldnt because I have other ways to get him legally. If I wasn't a cop I dont think I would but I could see it happening

With the way the courts work sometimes, I can certainly see the frustration. What I mean is...when you see the same people, commit the same crimes, and go thru the same revolving door, with little to nothing happening to them, I can see how faith can be lost, thus people look for 'alternative' methods, such as we see here. Of course, the smart thing would be to call the cops, and deal with this legally, but as I said, with the way some people go thru that door, faith tends to get lost.

Like DD said, I probably wouldn't but the thought would certainly cross my mind.
 

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I really have no sympathy for drug dealers, whether they are also users or not. But those who use have much responsibility in the matter as well, for their own actions. They obviously desire to use, probably enjoy using, and don't usually want to stop, but rather just have easy access.

There are exceptions of course, and those people are easier to help, as with all excursions outside the law. But most criminals are doing what they do because they want to; use drugs, break into cars or homes, steal at stores, whatever.
There are a significant number of drug addicts who are self-medicating. In some cases, such as weed for people who have anxiety disorders as an example, they will say that the weed is cheaper and has less severe side affects than the 'legal' prescriptions.

In other cases, it's not uncommon to see people with schizophrenia or other more severe mental impairments who are taking equally severe drugs. And, as you might expect, there's a lot of synergy going on there. The drugs exacarbate the impairment, and the impairment helps drive the addiction. Simply put, heroin or whatever may make the voices stop in the short term, but in the long term likely make the impairment more severe.

Another common source of new addicts are runaways brought into the sex trade. Once again, they're running away from home at a very young age. Whatever has happened to drive them to do that, whether molestation/abuse, mental illness, or some combination, their decision making abilities aren't strong. So, when a nice looking guy asks them if they want a place to stay, they say yes.

My point isn't to excuse people who are addicted. I'm simply pointing out that it is not always a situation where a perfectly sane, perfectly well adjusted person says, "Hey, that looks like fun. I'd like to risk addiction and chase the dragon for the rest of my life."
 

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Consuming mind altering chemicals and beginning/continuing drug addiction, whether the drugs are legal or not, is one of the most selfish things that as a human being you can do. Blaming someone else for the addiction isn't solving anything.
 

Steve

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Consuming mind altering chemicals and beginning/continuing drug addiction, whether the drugs are legal or not, is one of the most selfish things that as a human being you can do. Blaming someone else for the addiction isn't solving anything.
Having a beer is selfish? Drinking coffee or black tea?

What about painkillers?

You're speaking in very broad, sweeping terms, but it sounds like you have something pretty specific in mind.
 

Dinkydoo

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Having a beer is selfish? Drinking coffee or black tea?

What about painkillers?

You're speaking in very broad, sweeping terms, but it sounds like you have something pretty specific in mind.

All of those serve one single purpose, to make the person taking them feel 'better'. Nobody ever has a cigarette for another's benefit.
 

pgsmith

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I have a ridiculous outlook? They suck people into a world of addiction for money, and you're saying that's cool and the victim should be punished? God Damn The Pusher Man! Take him out of the equation, and what do you have? Less addiction to drugs.
They are the lowest of the low. And you're ok with that.

Please point out exactly where I said that I was OK with anything? I never wrote OK, nor did I intimate that anything was OK. I merely pointed out that you saying "if I can't buy drugs I can't abuse them" is a totally ridiculous outlook. I even explained why I thought that, but you were much more interested in displaying ridiculous histrionics and attempting to shove words into my mouth than you were in actually reading and thinking about what I wrote. That's OK though, I understand that a lot of people would much rather have someone else be responsible for their actions, because that way they can blame someone else for their problems. I, however, think that everyone should be responsible for their own actions.

Dinkydoo said:
All of those serve one single purpose, to make the person taking them feel 'better'. Nobody ever has a cigarette for another's benefit.
That is a very narrow-minded viewpoint. I know a couple of doctors that work the ER regularly at our county hospital. Both of them practically live on coffee in order to keep them awake and alert during their shift. I'm pretty sure they both make many other people feel 'better'. I suffer from chronic knee pain. Some days it gets too bad and I have to take pain killers so I don't snap at the people I work with. I could handle the pain, but taking pain killers make the work day 'better' for those around me. Very few things in life are black and white. Recognizing this makes life a lot less difficult in my opinion.
 

Dinkydoo

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That is a very narrow-minded viewpoint. I know a couple of doctors that work the ER regularly at our county hospital. Both of them practically live on coffee in order to keep them awake and alert during their shift. I'm pretty sure they both make many other people feel 'better'. I suffer from chronic knee pain. Some days it gets too bad and I have to take pain killers so I don't snap at the people I work with. I could handle the pain, but taking pain killers make the work day 'better' for those around me. Very few things in life are black and white. Recognizing this makes life a lot less difficult in my opinion.

The coffee makes the doctors 'feel better', not the patient. The pain killers make you feel better and make your life more manageable, that's fine, but please keep in mind that I specifically referred to "addiction" in my initial post.
 

K-man

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Something else that comes to mind is the 'double standards'. Children see their parents drinking alcohol. Often they see the effects of the parents drinking too much alcohol. Then they see their friends smoking pot and it looks pretty much the same. One is legal, one is not. Both are potentially harmful both to the person and to the society in which they live.

Next double standard. The average party goer is obviously far more sensible than the medical crowd and the lawmakers. They know that they can take their pills when out clubbing to enhance their experience and it doesn't cause any problems. Mmm! The ones who choose heroin are just stupid because everyone knows that heroin is addictive. Both are illegal and the trafficking of both is illegal. Yet an awful lot of people going clubbing are condoning drug trafficking by buying the product. The people at parties selling drugs have the same idea as the pusher in the OP. They either are doing it to make a lot of easy money or they are doing it to pay for their own drugs. Either way it is illegal and potentially causing harm but how many parents would beat up the supplier in the clubbing scenario?
:asian:
 

pgsmith

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The coffee makes the doctors 'feel better', not the patient. The pain killers make you feel better and make your life more manageable, that's fine, but please keep in mind that I specifically referred to "addiction" in my initial post.

Maybe so, but it still doesn't change the fact that it is a narrow-minded viewpoint. Zero-tolerance in regards to anything is not a healthy attitude to have, and will eventuially lead to added stress.
 

Dinkydoo

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Maybe so, but it still doesn't change the fact that it is a narrow-minded viewpoint. Zero-tolerance in regards to anything is not a healthy attitude to have, and will eventuially lead to added stress.

You're probably right. I've been having a really hard time these past couple of days (nothing to do with the thread topic) and I think it's clouded my judgement a bit and made me a little less tolerant of opposing points of view than usual!
 

pgsmith

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You're probably right. I've been having a really hard time these past couple of days (nothing to do with the thread topic) and I think it's clouded my judgement a bit and made me a little less tolerant of opposing points of view than usual!

I know exactly what you mean, and tend to get that very way myself much more often than I would like to admit! :)

Hope it gets better!
 

Tames D

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Please point out exactly where I said that I was OK with anything? I never wrote OK, nor did I intimate that anything was OK. I merely pointed out that you saying "if I can't buy drugs I can't abuse them" is a totally ridiculous outlook. I even explained why I thought that, but you were much more interested in displaying ridiculous histrionics and attempting to shove words into my mouth than you were in actually reading and thinking about what I wrote. That's OK though, I understand that a lot of people would much rather have someone else be responsible for their actions, because that way they can blame someone else for their problems. I, however, think that everyone should be responsible for their own actions.


That is a very narrow-minded viewpoint. I know a couple of doctors that work the ER regularly at our county hospital. Both of them practically live on coffee in order to keep them awake and alert during their shift. I'm pretty sure they both make many other people feel 'better'. I suffer from chronic knee pain. Some days it gets too bad and I have to take pain killers so I don't snap at the people I work with. I could handle the pain, but taking pain killers make the work day 'better' for those around me. Very few things in life are black and white. Recognizing this makes life a lot less difficult in my opinion.

You use the word "ridiculous" way to much when you describe me. Very insulting. If you really want me to respond to your questions, then I would appreciate a little respect. Until then...
 

pgsmith

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You use the word "ridiculous" way to much when you describe me. Very insulting. If you really want me to respond to your questions, then I would appreciate a little respect. Until then...

No problem. Not all that interested in your response anyway.
 

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