Worst martial arts film you have seen?

Discussion in 'The Rec Room (Sports and Entertainment)' started by qi-tah, Jun 23, 2007.

  1. Steel Tiger

    Steel Tiger Senior Master

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    "Kill or Be Killed" and "Kill and Kill Again" are truly aweful but they pale into insignificance beside a film I saw in the early eighties called "The Instructor". Of my God! The Instructor was a short, potbellied, hairy fella who could outrun cars. The fight scenes were dire and the sound effects comical. If you can ever find it, watch it. But be warned you may die from laughing.
     
  2. qi-tah

    qi-tah Brown Belt

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    Great, that's my comedy veiwing lined up for the next month! [​IMG]

    I'd probably nominate any movie based on a computer game as well - if i could remember any of their names! Hang on, wasn't there a movie made out of an old game where you could kill yr opponents once you'd defeated them? And is it my imagination, or was Kylie Minogue in it?
     
  3. Hand Sword

    Hand Sword Grandmaster

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    To be completely honest...I liked them all back in the day. I would watch anything Martial Arts back then, and still do-pretty much. I will say that the genre from China, with all of the wire stuff gets on my nerves now. It wasn't as bad back then. I can't wait to see Spike TV's kung fu week coming up. I haven't seen one since back in the day.
     
  4. Blindside

    Blindside Senior Master

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    Gymkata with honorary mention to The Crippled Masters
     
  5. elder999

    elder999 El Oso de Dios!

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  6. Drac

    Drac Sr. Grandmaster

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    Ohhhhhhhhhhh I fogot about that one..That was a real stinker...
     
  7. Marginal

    Marginal Senior Master

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    Mortal Kombat is terrible just because it blatantly plagarizes Enter the Dragon. The sequels, those are a whole other level of terrible. (Hey, look, I want to move from point A to point B? How shall I accomplish this? Why, by backflips. The first motion you learn as a human after crawling.)
     
  8. Xue Sheng

    Xue Sheng All weight is underside

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    And the second Mortal Combat was worse.
     
  9. Blindside

    Blindside Senior Master

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    But everybody plagarizes from Enter the Dragon, Van Dammit's movies alone have Bloodsport, Kickboxer, and the Quest.
     
  10. DavidCC

    DavidCC Master of Arts

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    Good grief you people really need to expand your bad movie horizons! The karate Kid, Enter the Dragon as WORST ever??? Puh-lease.

    [​IMG] The Dragon Lives Again (1976)

    So indescribably weird and bad... Bruce Lee is in some kind of strange Chinese hell, he teams up with Popeye the Sailor, James Bond, and the High Plains Drifter to fight Dracula, Zatoichi and host of other movie icons in a battle to free hell from tyranny. Plenty of awkward nudity, butt-jokes, and really really crappy MA. It makes the karate kid look like Citizen Kane.

    You will bow down and thank the ghost of Bruce Lee for allowing you to see American Ninja after you see this.

    http://www.superstrangevideo.com/ca...ype=middle&keywords=&pageSize=20&prodCatID=10
     
  11. Marginal

    Marginal Senior Master

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    None of those approach the blatant line for line transfer that MK went for.

    The changes were only slight.
    "A woman like that can teach you things about yourself."
    "When a woman looks at you like that, it usually means something."
     
  12. Yeti

    Yeti Black Belt

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    OK...I'm glad someone threw in Gymkata, but what about Karate Kid 3?
    I feel dirty just saying it!
     
  13. Drac

    Drac Sr. Grandmaster

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    I said that Karate Kid shortly after this thread was started...
     
  14. DavidCC

    DavidCC Master of Arts

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    Karate Kid 3 is a classic if American Cinema compared to just about any of the Bruceploitation films. For real you need to rename this thread "worst high budget American Film MA film" becasue you guys are walking in the park compared to some of the stuff I've got on my shelf. Chinese Hercules anyone? Shaolin vs Ninja? spare me ROFL Gymkata and JCVD are not very good, but they are just movies with bad acting and bad fights. That doesn't come close to the level of horror in Dragon Lives Again. Where else are you going to see two geisha girls (in hell) giggling over what appears to be a huge erection under the sheet covering the dead Bruce Lee, and when the sheet is pulled back it is only his 'chucks. Oh man, that's priceless.

    now if they made gymkata with 1/4 the money and made it in 2 days, then it will approach this level of badness. Because that is a pretty bad movie.
     
  15. Steel Tiger

    Steel Tiger Senior Master

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    Haven't seen this one, but I did recently acquire a 50 MA movie pack and it has some absolutely incomprehensible Chinese flicks in it. Some of those '70s films out of HK are scary bad.
     
  16. Xue Sheng

    Xue Sheng All weight is underside

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    Mr. Miyagi would not be pleased :uhyeah:
     
  17. Gordon Nore

    Gordon Nore Senior Master

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    Has anyone mentioned, "The Next Karate Kid," the fourth installment of the series? It co-starred Hilary Swank, who would go on to do "Million Dollar Baby." It was terrible.

    "Gymkata" was a big-time stinker. Another standout was "No Retreat, No Surrender." The ghost of Bruce Lee coaches a teenage karate student who finds himself friendless in Seattle. {shudder}
     
  18. Steel Tiger

    Steel Tiger Senior Master

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    Did you find that the ghost of Bruce Lee looked a lot like Roy Orbison?
     
  19. Drac

    Drac Sr. Grandmaster

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    Ohhhhhh I'm scared......He might hit me with one of his Bonsai trees..
     
  20. Steel Tiger

    Steel Tiger Senior Master

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    He could make you paint his house or sand his boardwalk!123
     

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