The "Sir" Aspect of TaeKwonDO

[Elocin]

So, I am new to TaeKwonDo.
I am looking to have a mature and NON heated discussion on the aspect of saying "Sir" to everything and the tenets of respect for elders and parents....
I joined to build a confidence in my self defense abilities as a woman and citizen. I like the tenets about compassion, leadership, and indomitable spirit....I guess you could say I am hung up on my teacher talking about respecting your parents, elders, and teachers. My take on it seems like the class is asking for a blind respect..I say "sir" out of respect for my teacher as I am a student and I think all humans deserve a basic respect; but in my life there have been MANY teachers, and elders (and parent's of others) who I know that do NOT deserve reverence just because they are old, as they abuse the respect of children and have done awful things. I don't think it's a reason to quit TaeKwonDo obviously, but what do you all think about it?
I can't get behind the idea that all elders deserve a deep respect.. and my teacher talks about it a lot.

 

[jobo]

So, I am new to TaeKwonDo.
I am looking to have a mature and NON heated discussion on the aspect of saying "Sir" to everything and the tenets of respect for elders and parents....
I joined to build a confidence in my self defense abilities as a woman and citizen. I like the tenets about compassion, leadership, and indomitable spirit....I guess you could say I am hung up on my teacher talking about respecting your parents, elders, and teachers. My take on it seems like the class is asking for a blind respect..I say "sir" out of respect for my teacher as I am a student and I think all humans deserve a basic respect; but in my life there have been MANY teachers, and elders (and parent's of others) who I know that do NOT deserve reverence just because they are old, as they abuse the respect of children and have done awful things. I don't think it's a reason to quit TaeKwonDo obviously, but what do you all think about it?
I can't get behind the idea that all elders deserve a deep respect.. and my teacher talks about it a lot.

whilst there is nothing wrong with respect in general or elders in particular, I'm not sure that spending the time you have paid for being lectured on it is a good way to spend money or time

it sounds like one of them cult clubs that look to brainwash you, i wouldn't be calling any one,sir if I'm the customer they should be calling me sir. Leave and find a better,club, before they have you shave your head

 

[CB Jones]

I always give respect until you give me reason not to.

 

[Tez3]

We tend not to call people sir in the same way as they do in the US, with us it tends to be 'don't call me sir I work for a living'.

When people go on about how much they should be respected it's a general sign they shouldn't be.

 

[Buka]

Other than friends, I call everyone Sir or Ma'am. I have taught my students to do the same when addressing people outside the dojo. And they, in turn, have taught their children the same.

Seems to have worked well so far. As to addressing me, it's "Coach" back east, and by my first name here.

Outside the dojo I've always told them they can call me anything they think they can get away with.

 

[Headhunter]

Either do what the schools rules are or leave it's as simple as that really it's like someone at school calling there teacher sir or ma'm you're in a school so if you want to be there follow the rules. If you don't like it then no ones forcing you to stay

 

[jobo]

[QUOTE="Buka, post: 1857000, member: . I have taught my students to do the same when addressing people outside the dojo. .[/QUOTE]
why

 

[jobo]

Either do what the schools rules are or leave it's as simple as that really it's like someone at school calling there teacher sir or ma'm you're in a school so if you want to be there follow the rules. If you don't like it then no ones forcing you to stay

i agree, they sound like a lot of crack pots, she should indeed leave

 

[Headhunter]

Other than friends, I call everyone Sir or Ma'am. I have taught my students to do the same when addressing people outside the dojo. And they, in turn, have taught their children the same.

Seems to have worked well so far. As to addressing me, it's "Coach" back east, and by my first name here.

Outside the dojo I've always told them they can call me anything they think they can get away with.

Agreed outside a school I'll use their name but inside I'll call them whatever the rules are. I call a guy sir in class it's hardly a big deal

 

[CB Jones]

Other than friends, I call everyone Sir or Ma'am. I have taught my students to do the same when addressing people outside the dojo. And they, in turn, have taught their children the same.

Exactly. I'm from the south Sir and Ma'am is just how we address people.

 

[Elocin]

whilst there is nothing wrong with respect in general or elders in particular, I'm not sure that spending the time you have paid for being lectured on it is a good way to spend money or time

it sounds like one of them cult clubs that look to brainwash you, i wouldn't be calling any one,sir if I'm the customer they should be calling me sir. Leave and find a better,club, before they have you shave your head

Right! And everyone says "sir" after every syllable uttered from the teacher. I can not force myself to say it (every single sentence), thought I DO respect him as a person

 

[Elocin]

We tend not to call people sir in the same way as they do in the US, with us it tends to be 'don't call me sir I work for a living'.

When people go on about how much they should be respected it's a general sign they shouldn't be.

That's exactly right...It reminds me of when someone says "you know I never think of myself".. and they always do.. or "i'm a nice guy" which usually is the precursor to some sleazy action.

 

[Headhunter]

Right! And everyone says "sir" after every syllable uttered from the teacher. I can not force myself to say it, thought I DO respect him as a person

Then leave

 

[CB Jones]

Right! And everyone says "sir" after every syllable uttered from the teacher.

Seems like saying Sir after every syllable would make it hard to hear what he was actually saying.

 

[Elocin]

Other than friends, I call everyone Sir or Ma'am. I have taught my students to do the same when addressing people outside the dojo. And they, in turn, have taught their children the same.

Seems to have worked well so far. As to addressing me, it's "Coach" back east, and by my first name here.

Outside the dojo I've always told them they can call me anything they think they can get away with.

It's not the words I am concerned with. Teaching children to blindly respect authority just because they are older is kind of turning me off. Though I DO appreciate the tenet of "treating" everyone with respect, and most of all compassion.

 

[Elocin]

Seems like saying Sir after every syllable would make it hard to hear what he was actually saying.

It is. He says it's supposed to keep us on our toes, but I can't focus while I'm hitting and drilling and listening to him talk and "sir"ing.

 

[Elocin]

Either do what the schools rules are or leave it's as simple as that really it's like someone at school calling there teacher sir or ma'm you're in a school so if you want to be there follow the rules. If you don't like it then no ones forcing you to stay

I don't know if your comment was meant to shutdown, but I was posting to encourage discussion on the tenet. Doing things without questioning is not a way to learn. I am not leaving the school..he does not mind that I don't say "sir" yet, as it was my first class..I was mostly trying not to pass out.

 

[Headhunter]

I don't know if your comment was meant to shutdown, but I was posting to encourage discussion on the tenet. Doing things without questioning is not a way to learn. I am not leaving the school..he does not mind that I don't say "sir" yet, as it was my first class..I was mostly trying not to pass out.

And this is my discussion you do what you're asked to do in class or you leave it's there club it's there rules. If you want to train you listen to the instructor that's the way it goes

 

[oftheherd1]

I think one may find in the far east, there is more emphasis on respect for elders; parents, government officials, and just elders in general. Confucius certainly taught that, but he didn't invent the idea. Most MA schools will teach respect to the owner/teacher, especially in the dojang. Nothing wrong with respect.

Unless it gets to be an overly continuous part of training. I don't know your school or teacher so I can't really comment on whether or not your teacher is going beyond what I would consider the bounds or not. But if you are uncomfortable you might indeed want to try another school.

As to "I am looking to have a mature and NON heated discussion... " This is a public forum. We are reasonably well regulated, but it can get heated from time to time. Ignore that type of person or quit posting on the thread, or try to develop a thicker skin.

Lastly, welcome to MT. You might like to go to Meet and Greet and tell us a little about yourself.

 

[Elocin]

Agreed outside a school I'll use their name but inside I'll call them whatever the rules are. I call a guy sir in class it's hardly a big deal

I see what you're saying here. I have no problem using what he asks me to use. I am simply wondering if that is common in Tae

And this is my discussion you do what you're asked to do in class or you leave it's there club it's there rules. If you want to train you listen to the instructor that's the way it goes

I agree with you. I have no problem calling him sir if he asks that of the class....I am wondering if it's normal in TaeKwonDo for teachers to be so fixated on it, and WHY it's so important. That's what I wanted to discuss. Obviously if I am asked to do something in class, I am going to comply because it's my free time and I chose to go there.