survey on being bullied

Discussion in 'General Martial Arts Talk' started by hoshin1600, Dec 9, 2017.

  1. Flying Crane

    Flying Crane Sr. Grandmaster

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    Holy ****.

    That is the very definition of someone in the wrong line of work. I am sorry you had that experience.
     
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  2. oftheherd1

    oftheherd1 Senior Master

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    I don't ever remember feeling bullied in grade school. I went to a small country school so it probably was understood as losing behavior.

    In high school, there were attempts to bully me. By then I had learned strategies of how to talk to them to prevent them from finding a satisfactory opening to be able to justify attacking me. Also, teachers in those days were more observant and felt obligated to intervene when they thought it necessary. They might intervene themselves or call the assistant principal, who was the school disciplinarian.

    I think that all served me well though. Although now I don't suffer fools like I used to, I am still inclined not to fight unless were to be forced into it. That also fits my art's philosophy.
     
  3. oftheherd1

    oftheherd1 Senior Master

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    Yes, she was horrible.

    Unfortunately, there are a lot of people in teaching jobs who should not be. The last time in Korea, my wife went to the first parent-teacher conference. She came back and told me we had to get our oldest daughter out of that class because the teacher did not like Korean/American children. I though sure she must be over-reacting (she can be that way sometimes). The next time, I went. I came back and told my wife we had to get out daughter out of that class. It took a while, and at least one other set of parents to make it happen, as well as a visit with the principal. Suddenly my daughter was sent to another class with a really good teacher. Suddenly the first teacher was sent for extra training. I don't know if she would have changed then but she getting close to retirement and I think she feared losing that and decided there were some things she could put on hold until she retired. Worked for us..

    A couple of years later and my youngest daughter was in 2nd grade with a teacher who didn't want to have to get involved in anything. Including a boy who thought it was his inherent right to disrupt the class anytime he was so inclined. There was another student who decided my daughter would be a really good subject for bullying. When I talked to the teacher, she let me know that she was only responsible for what happened in her class room. I complained to my oldest daughter's 3rd grade teach. She got so angry it almost scared me. :)

    She demanded to know the name and position of that teacher, what bus my daughter was on, exactly what and when things were happening. She told me in no uncertain terms that she would take care of it and not to concern myself with it any longer. I asked my daughter and she said she didn't know what if anything happened, but her bullyer was no longer a problem.

    Sometimes the system works as it should. Sometimes it has to be prodded a bit. Unfortunately, as in your case, sometimes it doesn't help at all.

    Oh, and neither of my daughters has become a bully due to their experiences.

    OP, I don't know if this helps any with what you were looking for.
     
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  4. Buka

    Buka Grandmaster

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    Worst bully I ever personally encountered was our seventh grade teacher, John Raleigh, at Boston Latin school. A monster who was eventually fired.

    But a lot of kids grew up, and in their twenties and thirties, went looking for him. From what I heard, some found him. That pleases me a great deal.
     
  5. JowGaWolf

    JowGaWolf Grandmaster

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    I had one of those teachers in the 7th grade too. I'm pretty sure it happens more than we realize.
     
  6. hoshin1600

    hoshin1600 Master of Arts

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    my thought for starting this thread is that i have a hypothesis. my thinking is that being bullied or being a victim of violence as a child causes certain subconscious behaviors and emotional sensitivities that shape personality in such a way that makes you more prone to participate in martial arts. meaning being bullied makes you want to learn martial arts , but on a subconscious level not in a cognitive way so your not necessarily aware of why martial arts appeals to you.
    comparatively you would also be more prone to own a firearm for self protection.
     
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  7. Buka

    Buka Grandmaster

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    I'm not sure about the firearm part, but I think you might be on to something with the rest.
     
  8. Buka

    Buka Grandmaster

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    I hope not. To me, school teachers are the most important, and under paid, professions in this country. To me, not much even comes close.
     
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  9. JowGaWolf

    JowGaWolf Grandmaster

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    I definitely wouldn't fit that. My interest in martial is directly connected to watching Kung Fu tv shows growing up. The only cartoons that were available were after school for a short period of time I think an hour. Then it was all of the game shows, soap opera, maybe a nature show or some other education show, the muppets or some action tv show, and late at night the news and British television Benny Hill, Monty Python, and Paul Hogan (Pre-Cable & Pre-MTV days). Saturdays was the big TV day for me. Early morning cartoons that seem to last for ever (maybe 2 or 3 hours tops) and then kung fu theater. I always enjoyed the idea of fighting as a kid but not the idea of being mean. Karate allowed me to satisfy my desire to hit something without it being a negative and harmful action.

    I didn't get harassed until the 7th grade after moving from Georgia to North Carolina. I was considered the "country boy" by inner city kids. I never did fit in and I stayed that way until I was out of high school. During the times I was harassed by other students (A new one every few months), I did no martial arts. Got into fights and did some really horrible stuff as a teen. Stuff that to this day, I hate that I ever did. If anything Martial Arts probably reduced a lot of the personal conflict that I had within myself. It gave me something to do and a way to focus on something that was healthy for me.

    As for a firearm. I've seen some messed up stuff and in my opinion more reality than I really planned on seeing. Sometimes it's nice to have a little ignorance that way, you have to see how messed up the world is. Firearms have always been a family tradition for the sake of protections. When I look back on past generations, a firearm or weapon that can killed was a necessity. Firearms have never been a thing of pride in the family. Some people are happy about how many guns they own and what type of guns they own. But for my family it's always been something that we rather not have if it was an option.
     
  10. Hanshi

    Hanshi Yellow Belt

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    Yes, in elementary school and with the blessing of the so-called principal.
     
  11. KenpoMaster805

    KenpoMaster805 Blue Belt

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    yes i was bullied since i was kinder until high school but its all good at the end they became my friend I remeber whe n i was elemntary this guy keep buggin me so i karate chop him we get send to the office and he ddint mess with me anymore
     
  12. AngryHobbit

    AngryHobbit Blue Belt

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    Yes. Physically and mentally.
     
  13. gpseymour

    gpseymour Sr. Grandmaster

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    In my case, it wasn't very subconscious.
     
  14. Headhunter

    Headhunter Master of Arts

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    Nah this is how I started

    Friend: wanna come to boxing with me

    Me: sure nothing better to do
     
  15. donald1

    donald1 Senior Master

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    when i was in elementary i was bullied a little but i guess i'm the lucky one. i had some good friends that ended any bully problem pretty quickly.
     
  16. LinChong777

    LinChong777 White Belt

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    When I was young, I was growing up and attending schools in a predominantly affluent white community. As a Chinese-American with immigrant parents, I was one of the few people with an "outsider archetype". Nerdy with glasses and foreign customs, I was targeted frequently with bullying for my different ways. I didn't even realize until much later how racially motivated the bullying was, I just thought everyone was mean. Then it all came to head one day in 3rd grade when I was jumped by 4 of my classmates at recess. It was a very enlightening experience. My dad had taught me some combatives already, and I also had a size advantage (I think that was a contributor to the bullying, as being a Chinese meant that I ought to be smaller as per the stereotype, and the other kids thought it was unfair. Kids, right?) and I successfully fought my way out of the situation. I learned that day that I was an outsider, and to expect that wherever I went. It made me hyper-aware of bullying on myself and others, and solidified in my mind that the martial arts were the way to preserve personal justice. Since then, I have stopped many instances of bullying and I'm usually the first person to engage in conflict resolution where possible. I freely give self-defense advice and give free MA lessons to my friends.
     
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  17. Headhunter

    Headhunter Master of Arts

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    I had 2 very good friends who helped me to...my right hand and my left hand lol
     
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