I posted this because of the comments appearing in many places
that "its obvious - men know that rape is bad - don't
need to keep harping on this".
in my experience (not guess work or speculation) if it's
not a stranger/ambush/violent pounding, it's not rape and it's not
a "big deal". They absolutely do not see what they do as
wrong.
2 comments from men (ages 24 and 38) who were responding
(F2F) to my comments w/out joking stay with me
"but it can't be rape if she knows your name"
"hey, gimme a break - its not like it was in her vagina or anything"
Unfortunately, those are very common responses. In the case of the picture you posted, you also would get "She's young; she won't understand it, so we'll just get rid of the older kid and she'll be fine." Obviously -- she's not.
It's also important to realize that most people will know that they've done something wrong -- but don't perceive themselves as a "criminal" or "rapist", and don't want to see themselves that way. They'll rationalize or justify their actions as "she asked for it" or "she could have said no" or hang on technicalities like "I didn't rape her; I just...." If you watch TV shows like Mystery Diner or some of the shows that catch employees doing things wrong, and see how strong the urge to deny or minimize their actions there are -- think how much stronger that urge is going to be for something like a rape or sexual assault!
