Silliest challenge or verbal threat you've heard.

Discussion in 'General Self Defense' started by Old Fat Kenpoka, Oct 30, 2003.

  1. Silat Student

    Silat Student Blue Belt

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    Getting to see little old men take young bucks down a notch is always amusing. Of course when your the young buck it's usually painful :EG:
     
  2. Sin

    Sin 2nd Black Belt

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    The one I mostly hear is..."I can kick your ***, and I don't even take Karate." HIgh school kids need to grow up
     
  3. Chrono

    Chrono Guest

    This is slightly off topic, but the only time I feel that I need to be alert with other people is when I'm at a high school football game. Seriously. I went to an away one last night and I knew some people from the other school and they were dragging me everywhere. After the game she took me to meet one of the football players and he wasn't in a good mood at all (they lost, my high school won).

    Y'all probably notice a lot of fights happen because of stupid things like rival schools.
     
  4. Gaidheal

    Gaidheal Guest

    That's my usual response too ;¬)

    Also "You threatening me?" Me: "Nope, I don't make threats, only promises."

    John

    P.S. Yes, I used to be a posturing arsehole, now I tend to reserve these for a little verbal humour with well meaning mates, not actual confrontations.
     
  5. Gaidheal

    Gaidheal Guest

    Wow! Maybe she was related to an ex of mine... because I once had basically the identical scenario!! Freaky.

    John
     
  6. ThatWasAKick

    ThatWasAKick Guest

    Oh gosh, these are hilarious. I think my favorite is still you'd better hurry because I have to teach a Karate class. ROFLOL

    Dumbest threat:
    In high school a girl calls me and tells me she wants to "kick my a$$" then asks me if I would meet her and her friends in an alley behind a store at midnight. Yeah, right. Sure. I still wonder if they graduated her.

    Here's my stupidest response to a threat:
    I was in a parking lot at a biker bar (yeah, dumb, but I was 21) when this big, tatted up biker chick tells me she's gonna kick my a$$. I'm not a hundred pounds dripping wet but half of me is thinking this could be fun (did I say I was young?) and the other half is thinking this is really gonna hurt.
    I considered the situation for a second then said, "Where did you get them?"
    She yells, "What are you talking about Bi#$%?"
    "Your earrings," I replied. "I love them. Where did you find them?"
    I still can't believe she melted like a kitten and started babbling about her earrings, and I walked away unscathed.
     
  7. Gaidheal

    Gaidheal Guest

    Classic example of why psychology beats physiology every time.

    Woman was insecure.. you reaffirmed her self-worth and suddenly you are no longer a threat, but an additional 'pillar' for her ego. Way to go ;¬)

    John
     
  8. Chrono

    Chrono Guest

    So...did you meet her and her friend? Maybe "Kick my ***" could have meant something else?
     
  9. ThatWasAKick

    ThatWasAKick Guest

    Kick? Did I say kick? I meant to say kiss. LOL

    Actually, I did meet them. I figured they were going to find me one way or another and better on my turf than theirs, so I invited them to come kick me **** - at my house. (At least a house has a phone you can use to call an ambulance after four girls beat you up, right?)

    The ringleader stayed in the car while the other three came inside to tell me how bad I was going to feel. I agreed, then explained to them that at least a couple of them were going to feel pretty bad, too, and yet their "boss" was sitting out in the car being safe while they were inside ready to get whooped on.
    What kind of a wimp is she? She's too scared... etc. etc.

    Gawd, I love psychology. By the time I was done talking I had those girls so mad at their ringleader that they stormed out of the house - to go after her. There is very little intelligence in the pack mentality.
    End of threat.

    I really think most fights can be avoided by intuition, attitude & psychology.
     
  10. Gaidheal

    Gaidheal Guest

    Nice ;¬) I've done similar and I, too, love psychology.

    They can. Of those I have been involved in I have always had the option to avoid it, but have chosen not to (for whatever reason, justified or otherwise). Some situations inevitably are violent with no 'out' besides retaliation / defence, but these are a tiny fraction for everyday civilians.

    John
     
  11. Sarah

    Sarah Senior Master

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    That’s so funny.....the neighbours will be saying....'he seemed like such a quite guy, keeped to himself!!! LOL
     
  12. CMack11

    CMack11 Orange Belt

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    Thanks. I figured that was the best way to keep him off balance, and it worked like a charm! He still looks at me funny when I talk about it.
     
  13. ThatWasAKick

    ThatWasAKick Guest

    Yeah, that totally cracked me up, too. I had to tell your story at the dojo.
     
  14. Flamebearer

    Flamebearer Green Belt

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    Hee, hee!

    Having a great time reading this thread!
    I like the deer rifle one
     
  15. CMack11

    CMack11 Orange Belt

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    So did the dojo like it, too?
     
  16. BrandiJo

    BrandiJo Master of Arts

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    being a girl i always like the

    you wanna go thing ..umm i have a big mouth(get into fights with guys and girls alike) and so i come up with some smart *** comment like i wouldnt go out with you if my life depended on it but id be happy to have you go at your head (usely followed by a nice head high kick far enuff away to not get it grabed but close enuff to make em think twice ...oh BTW my new instructors are working really hard and getting me to shut my mouth i dont know how many push ups iv done cus things get back to them
     
  17. Jim

    Jim Guest

    'What're you lookin at' is a pretty common, yet well used challenge where I come from.


    My standard, and favourite, reply is... 'A f****n dead man'. But then again it does get me into a fight. Maybe I should work on another reply?
     
  18. Silat Student

    Silat Student Blue Belt

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    My favorite reply to that is "I dunno, but it's lookin' back".
     
  19. Samurai

    Samurai Blue Belt

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    Once when I was deliverying pizzas a guy pointed a gun at me and said, "Your pizza or your life". After thinking about that for .00045 seconds I gave him the pizza and walked off and called the cops. Ten minutes later he was enjoying his pepperoni in a nice comfy cell.

    Thanks,
    Jeremy Bays
    http://www.WoodlandArchery.com
     
  20. ThatWasAKick

    ThatWasAKick Guest

    Your pizza or your life? You gotta be kidding! Crazy!

    lol Oh yes. Now I can't wait to have someone ask me that question so I can use this response.
    <Leaves forum to go stare hard at everyone she meets>123
     

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