Self Defense from rape

[Gerry Seymour]

The operative word there though is 'little', try saying that about boys over the age of four. What boy of 10/11 etc wants to be called sweet? I'm not sure parents would be happy about having a 'sweet' boy of 12, many would be somewhat insulted that it was the best you could say about a lad.

That's more a masculine gender role issue, than a problem with the word.

 

[Tez3]

That's more a masculine gender role issue, than a problem with the word.

It is but I wouldn't have said the problem is the word but the use of it to cause that masculine gender problem is.

 

[JowGaWolf]

Because those aren't exactly the same thing, and "sweet" isn't an insult. Heck, I still hear teenage girls talking about how sweet their boyfriends are when they do something nice.

Again that's girls talking to other girls about a person that isn't being spoken directly to. No different than an adult talking to another adult about a child who isn't being spoken directly to. So in your case it's a girl not directly telling her boyfriend that he's sweet right?

 

[Buka]

Taught a self defense class at my buddy's place last night. Introduced some young women to various chokes. They had such a gleam in their eyes. But they're sweet kids. "Sweet" does not mean to me what it means to others.

 

[JowGaWolf]

Taught a self defense class at my buddy's place last night. Introduced some young women to various chokes. They had such a gleam in their eyes. But they're sweet kids. "Sweet" does not mean to me what it means to others.

Did you tell the young women that that they were sweet?

 

[Buka]

Did you tell the young women that that they were sweet?

I did not. I told them they were pretty damn awesome.

 

[Hanzou]

Taught a self defense class at my buddy's place last night. Introduced some young women to various chokes. They had such a gleam in their eyes. But they're sweet kids. "Sweet" does not mean to me what it means to others.

Good. The amount of martial arts that lack choking within their curriculum is staggering. An effective choke can be applied by a small against a larger person, and end a confrontation in a matter of seconds. Every woman that is serious about self defense should know how to do them.

 

[Buka]

Good. The amount of martial arts that lack choking within their curriculum is staggering. An effective choke can be applied by a small against a larger person, and end a confrontation in a matter of seconds. Every woman that is serious about self defense should know how to do them.

Long time, no hear, bro. Good to read you again.

I agree. I find basic choking skills to be very empowering. Perhaps even more so for women.
I suppose that could be said of any technique, but I find it much more so with chokes. And done properly, they're very safe. Besides, they're a whole lot of fun.

 

[FriedRice]

This is a few miles from where I live. I know that we are skeptical of 2 hour self defense courses, but simply teaching people not to be victims can make all the difference. It sounds like it did for this awesome lady.

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Seattle Woman Uses Tactics She Learned from Self-Defense Class to Escape Brutal Sexual Assault

Seattle Woman Uses Tactics She Learned from Self-Defense Class to Escape Brutal Sexual Assault

It's better than nothing. I don't see anything wrong with it.

 

[ShortBridge]

It was certainly worth something to this woman, which was my point.

 

[Tez3]

We are sceptical of 2 hour SD courses for women for a very good reason.

 

[ShortBridge]

We are sceptical of 2 hour SD courses for women for a very good reason.

Just to be clear. I was asked to teach a 2 hour SD course for women once and after collaborating with someone on a curriculum for a few weeks, we declined, because I didn't feel good about what I thought we could offer in that context.

But, technique aside, some people (men and woman) need to embrace the idea that they can and should and will fight if someone tries to victimize them. If that's all they get out of it, it's worth it to some people and it sounded like it made a difference in this woman's life.

Conversely, if you study martial arts for a decade and don't develop that commitment not to go down without a bloody fight, it will most likely let you down when tested in a public restroom.

 

[Tez3]

Just to be clear. I was asked to teach a 2 hour SD course for women once and after collaborating with someone on a curriculum for a few weeks, we declined, because I didn't feel good about what I thought we could offer in that context.

But, technique aside, some people (men and woman) need to embrace the idea that they can and should and will fight if someone tries to victimize them. If that's all they get out of it, it's worth it to some people and it sounded like it made a difference in this woman's life.

Conversely, if you study martial arts for a decade and don't develop that commitment not to go down without a bloody fight, it will most likely let you down when tested in a public restroom.

I said we are sceptical for a reason and I mean it despite someone thinking that is funny but then he's on a campaign to pick arguments with me. There is nothing, ever, funny about rape.

I will state the obvious here and it's what most of us think, that doing a 2 hour course can and often does make people think they have the techniques to fend off an attacker so they take risks they wouldn't take if they hadn't done the course. They think it's fine to ignore the 'rules' of self defence like not walking in dark places etc because they are confident they can handle themselves if attacked. Then of course there's the issue of whether one should fight immediately, thinking one can defend themselves and attacking your 'attacker' can backfire on you, sometimes other actions can be more productive. I've dealt with a couple of rape cases, one had a knife to her throat, she didn't resist because to do so would have left her dead she believed so she remained totally passive, she was sure that was the right thing for her, I can't argue it wasn't. I can't argue that one should always fight, I can't argue that you shouldn't.
We need to be very careful about what we teach, the first thing I always say is that you must go with your gut feeling and instincts. Going down fighting isn't always the right thing to do. It sounds great when writing it, it may help convict the attacker in court by convincing a jury that you didn't want the sexual contact but being beaten to an inch of your life is not something you want to happen if there's anything else you can do to avoid it. Be very careful about telling people, especially women they must fight to the death as it were.

 

[Tez3]

An interesting article. What should you do if a man is about to rape you?

 

[JR 137]

In Black American Culture to sweet has multiple meaning. For example, "Your boy is a little sweet" = Your boy is a little girlish. "That boy is sweet" could mean that he's nice or that he's gay. "He has some sweetness in him" = he's definitely gay / question about if he's ga. Keep in mind that in Black American Culture the term "sweet" isn't negative for gay. It's almost like polite code word for gay, because if you say someone is gay people tend to freak out, but if you say that a guy has some sweetness in him, then for some reason it's not as bad as being gay even though that's what is being implied. In addition some guys can be more feminine without actually being gay, and sweetness would fit that description as well. It would be like saying "Soft like a girl" but not gay. It could be even used as "He's a little sweet but not gay."

I know it's not me because it's even shown here in this commercial.

So when Walter Payton was nicknamed "Sweetness," did the black community interpret that as "Gayness?"

 

[JowGaWolf]

So when Walter Payton was nicknamed "Sweetness," did the black community interpret that as "Gayness?"

Probably. So I looked it up to see what I could find.

Source Why Walter Payton was called Sweetness - Trivia Happy

"
Ever wonder why legendary running back Walter Payton had the nickname Sweetness? His brother gave the answer in his book Walter & Me, and there are a few reasons the tough player had the sweet nickname.


Payton cycled through a few nicknames before finding one that stuck. Payton was called Bubba as a child, and Jackson State fans called him Little Monk and Spider-Man. Eventually, they thought of Sugarman, and a twist on that nickname became permanent.


After Sugarman, Walter Payton became Sweetness. Payton’s brother speculates that the nickname was meant to pick on his soft, high-pitched voice, but it quickly became a badge of honor. The media was happy to promote Payton’s nickname because, as one reporter said, “he runs so sweet that it gives me cavities just watching him.”"

You can see his video here

From this statement it sounds as if the Reporter knew why people were calling him the name and he thought to redefine the meaning of name. I'm not sure about other cultures but this is also a normal thing in Black American culture where black people embrace a negative image or name and then turn it around to mean something else. Sometimes it works and sometimes it causes more problems. Examples of this is, Thug, Pimp, Player, N---a,(n-word), Hustler, and some other words that are negative but are also used in a way that even other ethnicites are happy to be called some of these words.

There have been rumors about him being gay as well. No one knows the answer to that, but I'm pretty sure that if he was, then you would be able to tell from childhood photos. Kids make less of an effort to hide that they are gay. But like I said before, some guys can be more feminine and not actually be gay, but still be called sweetness. But like I said being gay isn't a big deal in the black community. It didn't have the stigma that I see outside of the black community. Some of the most famous black musicians had a lot of "sugar in them" slang for being very feminine. Little Richard, Prince, Luther Vandross. Tevin Cambell. If you look at the news reports shockers from the past about who was gay. Do you ever remember it being a shocking news story that a Black American Celebrity was gay? It just wasn't a big issue within the Black American Communities.

 

[Tez3]

but this is also a normal thing in Black American culture where black people embrace a negative image or name and then turn it around to mean something else.

It's a British thing as well, look up 'Desert Rats' and 'Old Contemptibles'.

 

[Tez3]

There is nothing, ever, funny about rape

I am repeating this because you have to be very sick to think there is. This is a statement of fact, not an insult or an attack.

 

[JowGaWolf]

This is a few miles from where I live. I know that we are skeptical of 2 hour self defense courses, but simply teaching people not to be victims can make all the difference. It sounds like it did for this awesome lady.

–------
Seattle Woman Uses Tactics She Learned from Self-Defense Class to Escape Brutal Sexual Assault

Seattle Woman Uses Tactics She Learned from Self-Defense Class to Escape Brutal Sexual Assault

The one thing I don't like in terms of what happens before Rape is the mindset that "it won't happen to me." If we could get people to understand the danger of this mindset then I think we could do a lot more to help women protect themselves against rape and to better analyze the environment. I'm not saying that women need to dwell on the environment, but the better they can analyze an environment, the sooner red flags will pop up. I think this would be even more valuable for children, who are the most likely to have the "it will won't happen to me." mindset.

 

[Tez3]

The one thing I don't like in terms of what happens before Rape is the mindset that "it won't happen to me." If we could get people to understand the danger of this mindset then I think we could do a lot more to help women protect themselves against rape and to better analyze the environment. I'm not saying that women need to dwell on the environment, but the better they can analyze an environment, the sooner red flags will pop up. I think this would be even more valuable for children, who are the most likely to have the "it will won't happen to me." mindset.

Alongside that is the fact that most rapes aren't 'stranger' rapes' but perpetrated by someone known to the victim.
I think too that we need a lot of education not just to prevent victims becoming victims but to stop rapists from becoming rapists, the onus is put on women to 'be careful', 'not to dress provocatively' , don't 'walk the streets alone' but we also need it to be known and recognised that rape is a crime and to have it treated as such with better sentencing, less judging of victims etc.
You have only included women in this post but men get raped too.

List of Rape Myths