Self defence myths that could actually put you in danger

[mograph]

When I was a kid there were some corkers. If you were a black belt you had to register your hands at the Police Station.

Yep. Myth, but with a teeny bit of history, apparently.

FightingArts.com - Martial Arts Myths and Misconceptions: Black Belts Having To Register As Deadly Weapons

 

[crazydiamond]

I don't know if this counts as "advice" per se, but I know a lot of martial arts schools teach children the same self-defense techniques as adults under the guise of practical street defense, but many of the moves are only practical if you have the size and strength of an adult -- most children just aren't going to be able to hit that hard, and giving them the idea that they now have the ability to take down an attacker is dangerous, imho.

True.....My kid trains at my dojo - but size/strength differentials has come up in adult class as well. Quite a few times my partner (or I) have said "this move does not work very well when one of us has a size difference".

 

[crazydiamond]

I'm not even sure if it is still given as advice, but I remember watching a women's self-defense seminar from someone and they told women to "pee their pants" so the attacker/rapist would just be disgusted and leave. The issue is, we have been conditioned to NOT pee ourselves. It may happen naturally, but in a high stress situation it's just not going to happen on purpose.

My wife explained when she was 19, someone was about to assault her - and she vomited all over him. He actually did get disgusted and leave.

 

[Skullpunch]

Eyegouging from the bottom. If you have time to do that they were not being very serious about hurting you.

Until you eye gouged them.

Actually, if you know what you're doing then eye gouges become very effective.

Now, whenever I hear someone say "I don't need to know how to fight on the ground, I'll just bite/eye gouge you if you take me down" THEN what you say definitely applies.

But if I'm at least semi-close to your skill level at positioning myself on the ground and controlling you then a timely eye gouge will be devastating.

 

[punisher73]

My wife explained when she was 19, someone was about to assault her - and she vomited all over him. He actually did get disgusted and leave.

Didn't say it wouldn't work, like I said it may happen naturally to pee, just as your wife vomited due to the stress. BUT, to try and teach people to vomit on command to prevent rape, I think is a very bad idea.

 

[Touch Of Death]

Didn't say it wouldn't work, like I said it may happen naturally to pee, just as your wife vomited due to the stress. BUT, to try and teach people to vomit on command to prevent rape, I think is a very bad idea.

I have just seen, on the YouTube; so, it must be true, that rapist are looking for it to go a easily as possible; so, if fighting back isn't an option, due to age or disability, I don't see how this could be all that bad of an idea. You got any better options for those who aren't up for a fight?

 

[HW1]

"A kick/knee to the groin will stop an attacker in their tracks."

Almost every women's self-defense class teaches this. Never have I heard it discussed why the attacher might not feel it due to adrenalin dump, might get madder because it wasn't a successful hit and only delivered minimal pain, or how perpetrators might actually be aware of this super secret move that they watch out for it or wear a cup.

 

[Gerry Seymour]

"A kick/knee to the groin will stop an attacker in their tracks."

Almost every women's self-defense class teaches this. Never have I heard it discussed why the attacher might not feel it due to adrenalin dump, might get madder because it wasn't a successful hit and only delivered minimal pain, or how perpetrators might actually be aware of this super secret move that they watch out for it or wear a cup.

Agreed. When I teach groin strikes, I also talk about those issues. Of course, the not-feeling-it issue could apply to almost any strike, unless you're hitting hard enough to do damage (and even then, with drugs), but it's important to note it with groin strikes since most people's perception of them is mostly related to accidental hits in non-adrenalized situations. In other words, we use them, but not as finishing moves. They actually do a decent job of getting many people to "think lower".

 

[punisher73]

"A kick/knee to the groin will stop an attacker in their tracks."

Almost every women's self-defense class teaches this. Never have I heard it discussed why the attacher might not feel it due to adrenalin dump, might get madder because it wasn't a successful hit and only delivered minimal pain, or how perpetrators might actually be aware of this super secret move that they watch out for it or wear a cup.

A girl I knew had someone corner her in a classroom building (college) on the weekend when it was mostly empty. He tried to pull her into the bathroom after having punching her in the face and swelling her eye shut. She kneed him in the groin and it was enough to get away.

Again, no tool works for every situation. But, it doesn't mean that it isn't a valid option in some circumstances. You just never know until the situation happens.

 

[punisher73]

I have just seen, on the YouTube; so, it must be true, that rapist are looking for it to go a easily as possible; so, if fighting back isn't an option, due to age or disability, I don't see how this could be all that bad of an idea. You got any better options for those who aren't up for a fight?

Again, this is partially right. Most rapes aren't the stranger jumping out of a bush. Most are "date rape" situations, or situations where the attacker is known.

If it is a random rape attack, then they are looking for an easy target, because the motivation isn't "sex" it's about "power" using sex as the instrument of control.

It is a bad idea because you are telling people and training them to do something that they most likely will not be able to control in a high stress situation. Time would be MUCH better spent teaching them "basic" self-defense skills about awareness and pre-contract strategies. Things like, not going places alone/using the buddy system. Parking under a light to see what's around your car. Having your keys out before walking out of the store. If your hands are full, asking for an escort out to your car. Not using your cellphone when walking around. Looking in the backseat before getting in. Locking your doors as soon as you get in. List goes on and on. Also, teaching how a predator will "interview" you to get close (have a light, what time is it, can you tell me how to get to X, etc.)

The VAST majority of a women's self-defense program should be spent on this. The next portion should be spent on proper mindset and how to not give up or fight back. The techniques should be intertwined with the mindset to practice both.

Again, I am not a big fan of "magic bullet" techniques. As I have repeatedly said, if it happens naturally, use it. But, don't plan on it as part of your strategy.

 

[Kung Fu Wang]

Old saying said, "When you meet someone in the dark alley, whoever has more courage will win."

 

[aedrasteia]

Again, this is partially right. Most rapes aren't the stranger jumping out of a bush. Most are "date rape" situations, or situations where the attacker is known.

Time would be MUCH better spent teaching them "basic" self-defense skills about awareness and pre-contract strategies. Things like, not going places alone/using the buddy system. Parking under a light to see what's around your car. Having your keys out before walking out of the store. If your hands are full, asking for an escort out to your car. Not using your cellphone when walking around. Looking in the backseat before getting in. Locking your doors as soon as you get in. List goes on and on. Also, teaching how a predator will "interview" you to get close (have a light, what time is it, can you tell me how to get to X, etc.)

The VAST majority of a women's self-defense program should be spent on this. The next portion should be spent on proper mindset and how to not give up or fight back. The techniques should be intertwined with the mindset to practice both.
.

Punisher - the threat who already knows his target doesn't need an interview. How does 'not using the cellphone' or 'checking the backseat' or 'locking your doors as soon as you get in' or 'using the buddy system' or 'parking under a light' or 'having your keys out' qualify as any kind of useful strategy when the threat is _already in your life_? He (yes, usually 'he') is 'inside the circle', someone accepted/trusted by the rest of the people surrounding the target. So if the target speaks out about that 'gut instinct' feeling, most others inside the circle discount her perceptions (or worse). And it happens to boys/men too. Same profile; the predator is already close by.

Do you, or anyone else on this thread get that? And do you have anything useful for the reality we face? You sure have lots of 'shoulds' - any direct experience in successfully 'doing'?

Your suggestions are pointed right at 'stranger assault' Way over 75-80-90% of assaults come from threats who are already inside the circle of trust. What have you got for that?

 

[drop bear]

Punisher - the threat who already knows his target doesn't need an interview. How does 'not using the cellphone' or 'checking the backseat' or 'locking your doors as soon as you get in' or 'using the buddy system' or 'parking under a light' or 'having your keys out' qualify as any kind of useful strategy when the threat is _already in your life_? He (yes, usually 'he') is 'inside the circle', someone accepted/trusted by the rest of the people surrounding the target. So if the target speaks out about that 'gut instinct' feeling, most others inside the circle discount her perceptions (or worse). And it happens to boys/men too. Same profile; the predator is already close by.

Do you, or anyone else on this thread get that? And do you have anything useful for the reality we face? You sure have lots of 'shoulds' - any direct experience in successfully 'doing'?

Your suggestions are pointed right at 'stranger assault' Way over 75-80-90% of assaults come from threats who are already inside the circle of trust. What have you got for that?

Get a better circle.

 

[Steve]

As far as self defense goes, it's pretty much all apocryphal. Statistics just tend to gum up the works.

 

[Gerry Seymour]

Again, this is partially right. Most rapes aren't the stranger jumping out of a bush. Most are "date rape" situations, or situations where the attacker is known.

If it is a random rape attack, then they are looking for an easy target, because the motivation isn't "sex" it's about "power" using sex as the instrument of control.

It is a bad idea because you are telling people and training them to do something that they most likely will not be able to control in a high stress situation. Time would be MUCH better spent teaching them "basic" self-defense skills about awareness and pre-contract strategies. Things like, not going places alone/using the buddy system. Parking under a light to see what's around your car. Having your keys out before walking out of the store. If your hands are full, asking for an escort out to your car. Not using your cellphone when walking around. Looking in the backseat before getting in. Locking your doors as soon as you get in. List goes on and on. Also, teaching how a predator will "interview" you to get close (have a light, what time is it, can you tell me how to get to X, etc.)

The VAST majority of a women's self-defense program should be spent on this. The next portion should be spent on proper mindset and how to not give up or fight back. The techniques should be intertwined with the mindset to practice both.

Again, I am not a big fan of "magic bullet" techniques. As I have repeatedly said, if it happens naturally, use it. But, don't plan on it as part of your strategy.

The unfortunate reality about seminars for self-defense is that people expect physical techniques, and are unlikely to show up if you have a reputation for talking to them for an hour, then spending 20-30 minutes on physical defense. When I do a seminar, I try to weave as much of this type of material as I can within and between the physical techniques. I'm actually playing with that in some public seminars I'm planning in the next couple of months - trying to find ways to push more of the proactive material. As you rightly state, this is the more important and likely more effective portion of the training, especially where there is no time to really develop ingrained habits in the physical techniques.

 

[oftheherd1]

Get a better circle.

Not so hard to get a better circle of friends. Pretty difficult to get a better circle of family. More important is to know when to do it, and unfortunately, that may only be after an attack.

 

[Tez3]

Not so hard to get a better circle of friends. Pretty difficult to get a better circle of family. More important is to know when to do it, and unfortunately, that may only be after an attack.

There is no way of knowing who the rapist will be in a circle of friends, it can easily be the church going, pleasant polite chap who everyone loves or the sensible married man who wouldn't dream of having an affair. It can be the doctor, the police officer, the bank manager, frankly it could be anyone. There is no 'type' that one knows to avoid, changing to a so called better circle of friends means nothing at all.

 

[oftheherd1]

Myths? From Martial Arts? Naaaaaa, say it ain't so!

When I was a kid there were some corkers. If you were a black belt you had to register your hands at the Police Station.
Think about that. Think about the desk Sargent, the look on his face.I wonder if he gave you a form?
This was a widely accepted belief.

I had a college friend who was an MP stationed in Ethiopia. He once related to me that a soldier came into his police station wanting to register his hands because he was a martial artist. My friend related he refused to do so; having asked to see the man's hands and telling the man he didn't believe him because his knockles weren't calloused.

If you were about to get into a fight - you had to warn the bad guy you were a Martial Arts Expert. (The word "expert" seemed to be important for some reason.)

If you palm heeled a guy to the nose, the nose bone was driven into the guy's brain, killing him. But this wasn't really news, everyone seemed to have heard this, believed it and openly shared it in conversation. No, seriously. Honest to God.

Actually, everyone knew that first you were supposed to karate chop him on the bridge of the nose, then hit the bottom of the nose.

Karate guys always took their shoes off before they fought you. I used to watch out for that when I was ten.

Billy Jack lives on.

We're probably due for some new myths pretty soon. Let's hope they're good ones.

No doubt there will be some good ones. They always crop up among the inexperienced. I was doing an interview once and somehow the conversation got onto martial arts. I mentioned I had studied under Jhoon Goo Rhee, who was a 6th degree black belt in TKD (I hadn't yet studied HKD). Dully impressed, he replied how good that was, and that Mr. Rhee was obviously so good that he should be about ready to start learning Kung-Fu.

 

[punisher73]

Punisher - the threat who already knows his target doesn't need an interview. How does 'not using the cellphone' or 'checking the backseat' or 'locking your doors as soon as you get in' or 'using the buddy system' or 'parking under a light' or 'having your keys out' qualify as any kind of useful strategy when the threat is _already in your life_? He (yes, usually 'he') is 'inside the circle', someone accepted/trusted by the rest of the people surrounding the target. So if the target speaks out about that 'gut instinct' feeling, most others inside the circle discount her perceptions (or worse). And it happens to boys/men too. Same profile; the predator is already close by.

Do you, or anyone else on this thread get that? And do you have anything useful for the reality we face? You sure have lots of 'shoulds' - any direct experience in successfully 'doing'?

Your suggestions are pointed right at 'stranger assault' Way over 75-80-90% of assaults come from threats who are already inside the circle of trust. What have you got for that?

Please take the time to re-read my post. You are covering ground I already explained. I already explained that most rapes are known to the victim. I seperated that from the criminal who "targets" their victim. As explained in my post, those suggestions are making yourself into a "harder target" for the stranger situation. Awareness is key to avoiding those situations.

Yes, I have had experience both in my job and having people approach me on the street for "an interview". It never amounted to anything because I wasn't worth it. My advice is based on that experience and other's experience who deal with violence in the field.

As for "date rape" situations. That's tougher, like Tez said, you can know someone for years and then something snaps and they try to rape you. Teaching a class that involves a "known person" vs. a stranger is obviously different. Even the "known person" will have different approaches based on where the relationship is. For example, I have taught classes to college girls. I cover basic dating advice with them. Honestly, they don't like the advice and don't do it. But, it is safer that way. Some examples are, drive seperate to the date so you aren't relying on them for transportation. First few times, make it a group/double date for safety in numbers. Not letting them bring you a drink that you didn't watch poured (date rape drugs), not drinking alcohol so you are not in control, letting a friend know where you will be at and having them check in on you, etc.

Now to a "known person" rape like a boyfriend/husband/relative that all of the other stuff doesn't apply. Again, teaching mindset and basic techniques to get away, using improvised weapons. Down and dirty tactics and nothing fancy.

 

[hoshin1600]

Do you, or anyone else on this thread get that? And do you have anything useful for the reality we face

Yes I get it but I have been staying out of the thread because at times I feel like I'm hitting my head on a wall and I repeat myself too often.